A True Mate's Heart
by mynxi
Summary: Sequel to Broken can be read by itself! Summary of Broken inside. Peter saves Bella & now he has to deal with the Cullens, his issues, & Bella's issues. Not graphic but deals with bad topics. AU OOC Jasper lovers might like too.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight **

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**IMPORTANT: FF has pulled Broken Baby but there is a summary of the story below and it can be found on thewriterscoffeeshop(.)com also. **

**Notice: I have reposted and renamed Broken Baby entitled "Daddy's Gonna Buy You A Mockingbird" (name courtesy of Anadaybel, Thanks doll!)  
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**Thanks to ForksPixie for beta'ing my disgustingness in Broken Baby and now my…well whatever you wanna call the new story **** . **

**This is a sequel of Broken Baby but hopefully can be read on its own.**

Sorry you are going to have to get through about 1600 words of AN before you hit the chapter. Skim, read, but please note there is an important message in all of this. Or I wouldn't bother.

Let's start with me saying I in **NO** way condone or encourage sexual abuse or any other form of abuse. I originally wrote this as a possible one shot figuring it would be solely to get it out of my head and maybe help RAINN in the process. It did that. But then I felt the need to continue. My goal was to show how things can get out of hand in the abusers mind. Many of my reviewers noted that even though what Charlie was doing to Bella was reprehensible they understood the thinking. For Charlie it was about being in control of something and having an effect on the situation he was in (being the sole care giver for Bella).

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**Please keep in mind through all of this that it is just a story, and though Peter and Rosalie rescued Bella from her situation that is usually not the case in real life, many survivors need to save themselves. I realize this and encourage those in that position to speak up for themselves. **

_**Chapter 1.1: Summing it up**_

The reason for this sequel is so people who want to read the rest of the story are able to without having to read the graphic and horrific nature that is Broken Baby. Please keep in mind these are the still the same characters however and the past events (in that story) did happen for the purposes of this story, so they may be recalled or discussed and I'll do my best to avoid any graphic scenes, of course I will post a big fucking warning if I need to.

So I'm going to try to sum up Broken Baby for you in the least graphic but most succinct way possible. You are free to skip any or all of this but it may help down the line.

_Ch 1: The story starts over a month after Edward left Bella as Charlie mildly sexually abused Bella, bringing her "pleasure". Bella has been in a depressive catatonic state since she was found in the forest. This is Charlie's POV and what he thinks of what he's doing to "help" her._

_Ch2: The back story on how he got started abusing her, which boils down to frustration because she wasn't reacting to anything, though she oddly takes care of her own personal hygiene. She has stopped wearing clothes because Charlie is just taking them off but still remains catatonic._

_Ch3: Five months after Bella's birthday and Charlie is feeling more helpless, more confused, more frustrated, just more everything. He begins to think Bella owes him something so the abuse increases so he is now taking his "pleasure" from her (her virginity still intact, hymen however is not)._

_Ch4: about 5.5 months later now. Charlie wasn't doing very well with getting his rocks off the way he had chosen so he decides to penetrate her (virginity still safe). He is hopeless with caring for her and feeling more alone and isolated, without any aid. He still makes sure to "pleasure" her first but he uses her body to help him cope with his issues._

_Ch5: (This chapter is probably safe to read, nothing graphic happens) New character comes on scene! 7 months after Bella's birthday, Rosalie lies to her family that she is going shopping and goes to check and see if Bella is dead. Alice, of course knows this, but she is not getting visions of Bella because Bella is not making any decisions. Alice hasn't been able to see Bella since Edward left and they suspect that he killed her. He left the family a couple weeks after he left Bella, he only contacts Carlisle and Esme once or twice a month. Rosalie feels if she finds out what happened to Bella, maybe she can get Edward to return so they can slowly work on mending their family. Rosalie sees Bella in her room in her catatonic state, watches her go shower and return, and can smell what she believes has been going on. She gets upset because of her history and goes to the Cullen home for a bit to call the family, while Charlie is at work and let them know where she really is and what she found. _

_Ch6: Same day. New POV! Peter arrives at the Cullen's in anticipation of visiting with the family, not knowing they moved but his intuitive gift sent him there. Charlotte left Peter a few months ago for another vampire they met while in Europe, so he is alone & a bit bitter. Peter is certain Jasper & Alice are not mates. Rosalie gives him the cliffs note version of what happened and then calls Emmett to explain her history to Peter because she is choked up & having a hard time dealing with the situation. He agrees to go with her and help her rescue Bella from Charlie's abuse. They arrive and Rosalie finds Charlie in the act (not graphic). Peter identifies Bella as his mate when he looks into her eyes (she's still out of it) and attacks Charlie. Peter eventually takes Charlie and tortures him (VERY Graphic, includes rape) before leaving him to die buried alive. _

That brings us to now

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****Before we can move on however there is a "Public Service" announcement I would like to make:**

**This is just a fictional story BUT Broken Baby dealt with a major topic, rape. For the sequel please keep in mind that Bella was catatonic and didn't know what was going on. This is a major thing to consider because most of the time children and teens that do go through similar experiences are wide awake and it is abuse, awake or not. **

**Abusers will threaten the survivor's family with death if they tell, in some cases they convince the survivor it is deserved or even wanted. Also…a body will react without you wanting it to. There is such a thing as forced orgasms, which makes people unsure of what is going one because they came, but it can happen for both boys and girls if there is enough physical stimuli.**

**So first off, if someone is touching you in any way that makes you uncomfortable (and you should understand, I'm not talking about my sister hits me in the arm all the time uncomfortable) tell them to stop, if they won't report it to a trusted adult. If it's a parent doing this to you, report it to a teacher or directly to the police, or other trusted family member. If it's a teacher, neighbor, or friend of the family, again tell a parent, adult, or the police. Tell someone! This isn't a joke!**

**The abuser lives in a world they believe they control because they believe they control you and don't usually even see the cops coming until they are on their doorstep. Rape is about control and power nothing more, it's not love and it's not a punishment. It's to make the abuser feel powerful and in control of another person. It is rarely about the survivor and more about the needs of the abuser, they are selfish and don't care that they are hurting someone.**

**If you are told as someone hurts you physically in anyway, "look at what you made me do?" or "you deserved it because…," or "I know you want it, stop complaining" or "if you'd just do what I say, I wouldn't have to do this to you," it is abuse, it is illegal, and a trusted adult and the authorities need to be notified. These are only a few examples of what perpetrators say, please don't think its not abuse if you haven't heard these statements but still feel you are being abused. If you feel you are, then most likely you are. People have rights and are not to be mistreated by each other. So PLEASE seek assistance if you need it and take your power back. **

**You can also contact RAINN at www(.)RAINN(.)org or call 1-800-656-HOPE (all calls are anonymous and confidential) for more information and assistance on how to help yourself or a friend or family member. It should be noted that the call will not show up on a home phone bill because it is a free 800 number however, calling from a cell phone the number will appear on the bill should someone look at it. If this is a concern because your calls are monitored please use a landline or even a friend or family member's cell phone, this call would also count against minutes on the cellular level, based on your plan. There is also an online hotline you can access through the above website.**

**It's hard to start talking about it, but talking about it can make it stop. Not talking about it allows it to continue. **

**Survivors are not responsible for the things done to them, they do not deserve that kind of treatment especially as a child or young adult. We can only control our actions and reactions, we cannot control those around us. If someone is forcing themselves on you the key word there is force!**

**In Broken Baby, Charlie reasoned his abuse, it still makes it wrong and even he knew that but he chose to continue. So please keep in mind that this is just a story but if you feel you need help or want help for a similar situation please ask for it, rescuers are few and far between, don't wait for them, help yourself now. If you need more information or have questions for me, please feel free to PM me at anytime.**

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Now on with the Chapter!

_Previously in Chapter 6 of Broken Baby:_

I jumped in the river watching the red rivulets of water leave my body and mix in with the icy blue water floating downstream. I wasn't completely clean but better. I left my boots in the river and just wore my jeans as I ran back, wondering, _now what the fuck do I do?_

Chapter 1.2: Hittin' the Road

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_Peter POV (always in this story)_

I held a soft, tender Bella in my strong steel arms as we sat watching television. She accepted me, but wasn't sure of me. She felt the pull, the electricity, she couldn't deny the feeling, but she was weary. It didn't help that this whole fuckin' family was adamant that she was Edward's mate, well everyone except Edward that is.

We had made our way to the fuckin' Cullen home in New England three months ago and it had been a battle every day. I dunno why I thought this was a brilliant fuckin' idea. I guess because I didn't know the whole sordid fuckin' tale when I agreed to the visit. Needless to say, I wasn't too fuckin' happy when I was filled in.

In the meantime, Bella and Charlie were declared missing and speculation that they were having an affair wafted through the media. Other theories were that he went insane caring for her, killed her, hid the body, and disappeared. Either way, the last thing anyone mentioned was that she was fine and he was dead. But that was the reality.

Jasper had gotten Bella a new identity by the time we arrived, but when she finally saw that her papers read Isabella Cullen she went ballistic and shredded the papers into dust, literally. It couldn't even be used as fuckin' confetti, she was that pissed.

She chose the name Gabriella Marie Dove, which she wanted pronounced, "do-veh". She was still going to go by Bella for short and she was happy with the name she had chosen. Jasper quickly had all the paperwork redone to her liking. He was really trying to make amends for trying to make her a fuckin' snack-pack, but she said she didn't care about that. But he did and he fuckin' should!

That's my girl though, she doesn't care that she was attacked by a vampire, she cares that she was abandoned and broken by one.

I have to say I had issues with that fucked up situation myself. I was thankful that she wasn't able to push Edward into a more physical relationship, but at the same time, what he said to her, well, I may have ripped his arm off and beat him with it, before leaving it with 7 scars, one for each month that she suffered because of him. He still felt the pain in his arm because I made sure he attached it before it was healed and he never complained. Well he might have been a bit upset that he was going to be scarred now, but one look at Jasper and I and he became thankful he didn't have endure what we had. I'm sure Jasper had something to do with that, when Edward began whining, Jasper threw his shirt to the ground, probably mentally darin' him to say another fuckin' word. It worked.

Edward now wears seven scars on his left arm from me, for my mate, for the woman who he mentally killed and left to be abused by her father. That's how I saw it anyways. The rest of his family saw it that way too, but again not Bella. She didn't blame Edward for what her father did. And, according to Jasper, she was still somewhat doubtful that anything we said happened actually did. She didn't remember it at all. Doc C says her mind is still protecting itself and she'll remember when she can fully deal with it.

I dunno, maybe he's right, he's an educated fucker, but I think she's just making excuses. I can't believe she just lied there all those months and let him fuckin' touch her like that. I was angry at her for that. I tried not to show it, but it creeped me out now and then.

I looked down to the beautiful and increasingly healthy angel in my arms and was thankful she was alright, well as alright as she could be under the circumstances. I kept reminding myself of my love for her and even felt a little push from Jasper. He was doin' everything he could think of to help her, which included helping me. I gave him a chagrined smile knowing he felt my anger and hate seep up. He didn't know the reason for my stupid fuckin' upsetting feelings, but again everyone knew I was mad at _her_. I didn't want to be, I really fuckin' didn't, but I couldn't help it. Why didn't she stop him?

I increased my steely hold around her fragile body just a skosh, but she still noticed and eyed me warily from the corner of her eye. I wished none of this had ever fuckin' happened. She knew what I was thinkin' and she allowed me to hold her, I didn't move again. I didn't want to lose her so soon, or even fight with her. This was supposed to be a relaxing evening where we could just fuckin' "be ourselves" and not worry about the past or future.

But I couldn't help thinkin' about the whole fucked up story.

When I had returned to the Cullen's after my run in with _the law_ also known as the fuckin' shithead who is my mate's father, I found Bella in a bedroom still burritoed in the blankets Rosalie had wrapped her in. Rosalie sat quietly, tearlessly crying in the corner of the room on a white settee. I didn't know whose room this was, the smells had faded long ago, but it seemed rather small and sparely decorated for it to have been much more than a guest room.

I went to Bella's side and looked at her. She didn't appear to have changed at all. She was still just staring at the ceiling, ignoring the red-eyed vampire staring at her. I would have thought if nothing else my eyes could have brought her out of it. I am her fuckin' mate after all. Shouldn't that fuckin' matter to her?

I sighed heavily and went over, sitting next to Rosalie and wrapped a loose arm around her shoulders. She leaned into me as I knew she would. I didn't say anything and despite my grisly appearance neither did Rosalie.

We sat there for a few hours, until Rosalie had gotten through whatever the fuck she was going through. When she was able to talk again, we began making a plan to get Bella back to the Cullen's and hopefully the Doc who could help her.

First things was first, Bella needed clothing. We decided that Rosalie would go to the house pack a bag for Bella and a bag for Charlie and we'd dispose of his bag along the way. I wasn't willing to leave Bella alone or at all for that matter. Rosalie understood and said she'd take care of it. She took her rental car and was gone.

It was now about 9 in the morning and I knew people would be looking for dear old dad shortly, so she had to hurry. We had wasted too much time with her fuckin' crying.

I went and lay on the bed cuddling the fuckin' egg roll that was my mate. She didn't respond and I allowed myself a few weaker moments to lose it like a fuckin' baby who lost his lollipop. She didn't know what was going on, what had been happening to her, and didn't fuckin' know who I was. When I finally gained control of the dry sobs I didn't realize had taken over my body, I got angry. I got really fuckin' angry. I made my way to the room I knew used to be Edwards and began demolishing every possession he had left behind.

Yeah, I might have been throwing a fuckin' temper tantrum, but fuck it, I needed to. I heard the shower in Bella's room turn on and I ran back to the room. Rosalie stood in the middle of the room looking like she had seen a ghost. Shit, when did she get back? She stared at the closed bathroom door and I realized quickly it was Bella in the bathroom.

I didn't know what was wrong with Rosalie, but I hooted and hollered, excited that she was up and moving and she was going to be okay. My noise making brought Rosalie out of her spook induced stupor and she gave me a sad smile.

"She's not okay," she said softly. That stopped me in my ridiculous celebration dance around the room.

"Huh?" I asked dumbly. My brain said she was okay, she was showering, and this was a good thing. It was taking every bit of restraint I had to not run in there and steal her out of the shower. I wanted to claim her, I wanted to talk to her, I just wanted to hold her and see the light in her eyes.

"She does this." Rosalie waved her hand towards the bathroom and I was dumbstruck. I'm sure I looked like one fuckin' ugly vampire fish, tryin' to ask what the fuck she meant, but not truly wanting the answer. I stared at the door, I listened to the soft heartbeat, and I listened for any other noises besides the water running down and off her body.

Rosalie took pity on me and continued, "I saw her do this yesterday at Charlie's. She uses the bathroom and showers, that's why she wasn't wearing diapers or anything, but she's still gone, Peter." I could almost see the lump in her throat that she was swallowing around as her voice cracked. I stared at the door, she stared at the door.

Until the shower shut off. I looked at Rosalie suddenly curious about something. "Did she even have soap or a towel in there?"

Rosalie shook her head, but added, "No, I slipped a few things in for her, though. Clothes, too. I hope she puts them on." Right after she spoke we heard the rustling of clothes and I stared at the door doubtful that my girl was still broken and hopeful that she was actually fine. All because I 'knew' thanks to my lovely fuckin' gift that she wasn't. I also knew that I wasn't going to like what I saw when she came out, and because I didn't know what that was going to be, I was honestly scared.

Not that I'd tell Rosalie or anything. After all, I am the man here, the rock, and a fuckin' vampire. I shouldn't let the sight of a human girl scare me, but I was fuckin' nervous about what was to come.

Finally, Bella opened the door and yes thankfully she was dressed. She however was looking right through us and her movements were jerky as she looked like a fuckin' puppet with strings being pulled, moving her body back towards the bed. It was the freakiest shit I'd ever fuckin' seen and that's saying something. I've been around for over a hundred years. I couldn't help but stare at the fuckin' train wreck in front of me that was my mate.

Before I knew what I was doing I had intercepted her right before she reached the bed. My hands landed on her t-shirt covered shoulders and I was trying to look into her eyes, to find the life there. They honestly looked like fuckin' brown turds or somethin'. Her eyes didn't shine, they didn't focus, they didn't move.

"Bella? Bella? I'm Peter, Jazz's friend." I waited for a reaction, but there wasn't one. I shook her a little bit then. "Bella? Come on, doll. Snap out of it. He isn't coming back, he won't hurt you anymore." I thought maybe if she knew she was safe from her father that would help, but it didn't. Nothing.

My hopes torn from me I let my hands fall from her shoulders noting that I didn't feel a bra under the t-shirt. I looked over to Rosalie and then back at the girl in front of me. Her clothes hung limply from her frame, like they were 3 sizes too fuckin' big. Where did Rosalie get these clothes? They looked like they belonged on a fuckin' linebacker not my mate.

I stepped to the side so that Bella could sit down and cringed as she proceeded to jerk her way the last few steps to the bed where she went from standing to laying, by passing sitting almost all together.

I don't know how long I just stared at her lifeless body. Yep, she was alive, but not really. She was somewhere else and I dreaded to think about where she was. Soon her eyes closed and her breathing and heart rate stayed the same as she fell asleep. Her closed eyes were the only thing that gave her away.

"Why is she wearing Dumbo's clothes and no bra?" I asked the air, knowing Rosalie wasn't too far behind me and would obviously hear.

"Dumbo?" Rosalie asked as I heard her move to the bathroom. I finally turned to see what she where she was going. A moment later she exited holding bra and panties in her hand. Oh. She just didn't put them on. "Dumbo who?" Rosalie asked when I didn't answer her previous question.

"Dumbo the fuckin' elephant. Those clothes are too God damn big, Rosalie. What are they Emmett's or some shit?"

"No." She shook her head. "They are hers," she whispered the last bit. I looked back over at the girl just lying here and took in her shrunken form. I could see her naked and disgustingly bony body protruding underneath the fabric and just couldn't even imagine a normal sized girl. I tried to imagine her filling out the clothing around her just a simple green t-shirt and sweatpants that had a drawstring pulled as tight as it would go. All I could picture though was one of those ugly fuckin' Cabbage Patch Kids with an obtusely puffy face and body. I snorted to myself, that wasn't right.

Rosalie eyed me wearily, but didn't say anything as mind my raced through scenes of fat children running around, trying to find the one that resembled my mate. She wasn't fat, I knew that, but my brain wasn't fuckin' functioning right.

My phone rang and thank God snapped me out of the horrible daydream I was in. "Hey Fucker, what do ya want?"

"I wanted to see if you and Rosalie were able to take care of the problem out there?" He was nervous, the fuckin' God of War was nervous? What the fuck!

"Yeah man, the asshole cop, which thank you for fuckin' tellin' me that little piece of fuckin' fried info is no more, will not be found, and neither will his damn _cop _car."

"His car? What'd ya do to his car?" Jasper asked. I looked at Rosalie who didn't know yet either and cocked her head to the side in question at that bit of information.

"I buried him in it," I said with a smug smile.

"You buried him alive?" Rosalie gasped and Jasper yelled simultaneously. People on the other side of the phone began trickling in asking Jasper questions.

"What… what if he gets out?" Rosalie voiced the question they were all wondering. I shook my head, but only she could see it.

"He ain't goin' nowhere, folks. He was barely alive when I left him and if he didn't run outta air first, he'd bleed to death. Not to mention he's so fuckin' far underneath the earth that they ain't never findin' his molestin' ass an' he'd have to make it through trees as well, since I made sure to brace trees over top of the fuckin' car so the weight of the dirt didn't just make smashed taters outta him," I explained this like I was speaking to a kid, but with the way Rosalie was looking at me, and the silence on the other end of the phone, I figured it was best.

A chuckle came over the phone from Jasper. "Man, glad you were there. Why was he gonna bleed to death? What'd ya do?"

I looked at Rosalie and knew the other two women were listenin' also. "Listen fucker, I'll tell ya later, the women folk really don't wanna know." I looked pointedly at Rosalie and she just nodded her agreement.

"Yeah, okay man, when you hittin' the road to come this way?" he asked. I looked at Rosalie who shrugged and nodded towards Bella whose face was now scrunched up with the most emotion I'd seen yet, and she looked to be in pain. I rushed over to her and began just running my hands along her body checking to see if she was injured. She seemed to calm a bit at that.

"I think she was having a nightmare," Rosalie stated. The people on the other end of the phone expressed their confusion and I picked it up where I had dropped it next to the bed to explain what had just happened. As I moved away from Bella she gave a whimper and I glanced at Rosalie silently asking, "What the fuck do I do?" Her answer was to shrug.

I pulled on the collar of my navy blue t-shirt in frustration, a stupid fuckin' human habit I picked up from that bitch Charlotte. I refused to think about her further. I ended the call with the Cullens and turned to Rosalie to discuss a few things. I went and sat next to Bella gently brushing my fingers along her face and again she seemed to calm. I wondered if even in her sleep she could sense her mate was near. I didn't dwell on it; we had shit to figure out.

"You got everything she'll need from the house? And a bag for Charlie?" I asked, making sure our asses were covered.

"Yes," she hesitated. "I… well… I took…."she was fuckin' nervous and it was makin' me jumpy.

"Spit it the fuck out, woman."

"I went through everything as quickly as I could. I took a few pictures and stuff for her and well I found some things…." she trailed off and looked like she was going to cry or bust a gut or somethin'.

I waved my hands encouraging her to continue, hurriedly. We didn't have all fuckin' day to be shy.

"Well, I found some medicated drink shake that was in the cupboards, I took all of it. We should probably give her some. It says 3-5 times a day. Her pictures, well Charlie had one in his room. I think it was of him and Bella. But he shot both their faces. The glass was gone, but he kept the picture and the frame. I took it and put it with his things, if nothing else to get rid of it. I just don't know what that meant. I also found a… a diary, Peter. But I couldn't read it. I brought it too… I just couldn't do it. There was a lot of dirty laundry that was _stained_, if you know what I mean." She quit speaking and just shook her head in disgust. She was done. But I knew a lot more than I did 10 minutes ago. A lot more that I kinda wished I didn't know.

The stupid fucker kept a diary? Shit! And he had a picture of them shot? I don't know what that means, but it doesn't sound too fuckin' good. I was torn if I should look at the diary or not. In the meantime we packed our stuff up in my truck slowly, letting Bella get her sleep and I'd dash upstairs anytime she made a noise which was frequently. I could see Rosalie was trying not to laugh at me and I was thankful for it, but I just didn't know what to do. I'd never been in this kind of fucked up situation.

We finally attempted to move Bella's sleeping form to the backseat of my truck and I was thankful I had the biggest fuckin' thing money could buy. Rosalie placed a pillow under Bella's head and a blanket she got from I don't know where over her. She was just a tad too long for the truck and I had to bend her knees a bit. It honestly felt weird touching her like that, but she seemed easily manipulated into any position; though her normal seemed to be stiff as a board on her back.

We set off for the East coast, unsure of how to work the travel with Bella and discussed it along the way. She slept for a few more hours, we think. I kept trying to watch her, my review mirror angled towards her sallow face instead of the road behind me. Eventually, I saw that her eyes were open, but nothing else had changed. She didn't move, she didn't make any noise, and her breathing and heart rate were still even. Fuck, the only difference was her eyes open or closed. That sure as fuck ain't normal.

I let Rosalie know she was awake and she turned around and started talking to her. Telling her how sorry she was for Edward leaving, how sorry she was for what her dad did to her and how she was going to help take care of her until she died. That's when I pulled the fuckin' truck over before I ripped the fuckin' steering wheel off. I hopped out quickly and screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK?" at Rosalie's side of the truck.

She looked scared shitless and looked to check on Bella once more before she cautiously exited the truck, but still stood up against it. In the meantime, I was prowling up and down the shoulder of the highway like a fuckin' lion on the prowl and Rosalie was a smart bitch, she stayed against the truck so I wouldn't attack her. She knew I wouldn't do anything to Bella and she was using her as a shield and that fuckin' pissed me off more.

"Get your fuckin' ass away from my fuckin' truck, bitch," I growled at her. I wanted to advance on her but I was doin' everything in my fuckin' power to keep myself in check and remember that Bella was in the truck.

The bitch had the audacity to shake her head no as her eyes widened with my words. "W… what d…did I d… do?" she stuttered out. I stopped dead in my tracks and leveled my onyx glare on her. My muscles were coiled to spring and I was nearly there, I didn't want to talk, I wanted to tear some shit up. In the interest of not hurting her or my mate, I turned and ran into the field behind me and since there were no trees nearby I dove into the ground and began just tunneling like a mother fuckin' gopher. I didn't have a destination and I didn't care what I was doing or where. I was just focused on ripping the shit out of the ground in front of me and as it got deeper I went with it.

I heard a far away sob come from Rosalie as she probably wondered if I was digging her grave and that idea didn't honestly sound half fuckin' bad. Then I could hear whisperin' but no actual words. I was just far enough away I couldn't make out what she was sayin' or who the fuck she was talkin' to. As soon as her words finished my cell rang. "Fuck!" I screamed into my hole.

I sat down and answered the mother fuckin' phone figuring it was Jasper or Emmett, neither of which did I want to hear from now. "What?" I answered with a growl. I was considerably calmer at that point, but still nowhere near relaxed.

"You're an ass," Jasper voice said full of sarcasm. He was calm. I wasn't fuckin' calm.

"That's not a news bulletin, fucker," I retorted with a snort, smashing my hand into the dirt below me. I finally took a look around the crater I had made in this field. Fuck. It was about 10 feet deep and yep the size of a fucking grave.

"So what's up?" he asked all nonchalant like.

"I think I've become a fuckin' gopher," I replied. "But hey, everyone thinks their fuckin' cute, right?" I asked trying to sound like nothing was wrong, but I could still hear the growl in my voice and I knew Jasper could.

"Uh huh, did you grow a fluffy tail? Maybe some fur?" he asked playing along. And then it hit me.

I began laughing my fuckin' ass off. "Peter?" Jasper asked. I knew he thought I was off my rocker, but let's face it. I was!

"I'm not your fuckin' meal, asshole! So no actin' like I've got a fluffy tail and long ears! I sure as shit ain't pumpin' blood around in veins either. So you'll have to wander somewhere else for a fuckin' snack!" I laughed and pretty much my anger was all gone, except when I thought about Rosalie and then I sobered quickly.

Sensing my abrupt change in mood like a woman with PMS, Jasper asked the million dollar question, well questions, "What did Rose do, Peter? She's scared to death of you, but doesn't wanna leave Bella. What happened?"

"Man she fuckin' implied that Bella was gonna die. That she'd stay by her side and take care of her until she died. Like Bella is never gonna be normal again," I said grinding my teeth together, my anger making a quick come back.

"Shit," Jasper replied quietly over the phone more to himself than me. "Ummm… Peter… well hell… that's not what she meant," he was hesitant. The fuckin' God of War is never fuckin' hesitant. _What did he mean that's not what she meant? _

"What d'ya mean 'that's not what she meant'? What the fuck did she mean then?" I asked, still angry but increasingly confused.

"Peter, keep your cool man, okay?"

"m'kay," I answered trying to brace myself for what was coming. But bracing yourself for the unknown is fuckin' hard!

"She meant… that she'd be there for Bella as she grew old and died a natural death."

"Fuckin' spell it out brother. I'm still not getting' it. That's what she said. She implied Bella isn't gonna get better and just die that way," I repeated myself and I fuckin' hate repeating myself.

"Well, I… fuck man… she's not plannin' on Bella ever becoming one of us."

Blank, everything went totally fuckin' blank.

* * *

**A/N: Well, let me know what you think. Sorry again for the long ass AN but I hope my point was made. I won't restate that stuff again. I think once here is plenty.**

**And special thanks to Anadabyel who helped name this little gem! Thanks sooo much, sweetie! If it wasn't for you it'd probably be Broken Baby part duex, LOL.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for being beta's on crack and gettin' this done quicker than a cowpoke chasin' a chuck wagon. :)  
**

**Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Now in my reviews for chapter 1 I had a few questions. So here is the answer…you don't know all the details because I don't want you to. LOL. That is the story, getting the answers ya'll are askin'. And yes, I time travel a lot. We go from present to thinking about the past and explaining how we got the present we started with. That is fairly typical of me. I start in the middle. So yes, Peter will explain how Bella woke up, what their situation is, how she's dealing with everything as well as how he's dealing with everything. Mainly this is going to be Peter's story. So sit back and enjoy the read. Questions? *smirks***

**I'm sorry if the jumping around is getting confusing for everyone. How it works is the chapter always starts in "the present" time. Then we skip back in time to where the chapter left off after the xxxXXXxxx. I hope that makes sense. You're seeing what's going on now and how they got there. **

_Previously in Chapter 1:_

"_Fuckin' spell it out brother. I'm still not gettin' it. That's what she said. She implied Bella isn't gonna get better and just die that way," I repeated myself and I fuckin' hate repeating myself._

"_Well, I…fuck man…she's not plannin' on Bella ever becoming one of us."_

_Blank, everything went totally fuckin' blank._

* * *

Chapter 2: Has she been fed?

Peter's POV (always)

When I came to, I looked down to see the body of some crack-head at my feet. I was in an alley, obviously in a city given the noise around me. It was twilight and I was full.

One major fuckin' problem, though; I didn't know what day it was or where the fuck I was. The skull splitter was that I didn't know where Bella and Rosalie were.

"Oh God, Rosalie," I murmured to myself. The last thing I knew I was gonna fuckin' kill her. She wanted my mate dead, albeit naturally, but mother fuckin' dead just the same. I sat down next to what used to be my fuckin' dinner, tryin' to remember if I turned her into air freshener or not. And if I did, what became of my mate?

"FUCK!" I screamed into the alley, listening to the rodents and cats dart this way and that way to get away from the angry fuckin' predator, like they were even a fuckin' blip on my radar. I'm not a part of the cat suckin' furball clan.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. The first thing I noticed was I had 13 fuckin' messages in text and voicemail. Okay, this is good. Maybe I can get answers without having to call and ask someone. I checked the date and time. It had been 18 hours. I was blacked out for 18 fuckin' hours, according to my phone. Using the GPS, I found that I was in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Well shit! I went in the right direction, but I had left Bella and hopefully Rosalie, in one piece, in Montana! I travelled roughly 900 miles in less than a day, on foot, and where the fuck is my truck?

Enough stalling, I didn't wanna check my messages, but I knew I needed to.

Voicemail 1: "Thanks for hangin' up on me asshole! Call me!" Jasper's angry voice came over the speaker.

Voicemail 2: Rosalie's worried tone sounded loud and clear, "What the hell, Peter? You left me here with Bella and we can't wait forever, she has needs! You've been gone for two hours. Get your ass back here!" I hated that I had fuckin' left her and Bella, but obviously they were both in one piece. With that thought, a loud heavy sigh left my body along with some of my stress. I didn't even care what the other damned messages said at this point. Only hopefully, there was one telling me where the girls were.

Voicemail 3: "Peter, you jerk, you left my wife and Bella stranded in nowhere, Montana! After you scared the shit out of her!" Emmett was pissed. Esme was in the background, chastising him for his language, while others snickered, but he ignored her. "Just get yourself together and get back to them. She needs your help. They're trying to make it to North Dakota now." Okay, that gave me an idea of what fuckin' state they might be in, at this point well behind me.

Voicemail 4: "Peter, I couldn't wait any longer for you. I don't know if you are planning on ever coming back, but Bella and I are in North Dakota and I think she needs to use the restroom, so we are going to stop for the night. I'm getting a hotel and I'll text you with that info when we stop. Call me." Rosalie's voice was calmer against the sound of my truck roaring in the background and Bella's faint heartbeat . They were okay. They were waiting for me. Well, sort of. The time stamp on that was 11 hours ago. Fuck!

Voicemail 5: "Hey asswipe, you left my fuckin' sisters out there. Call me! That's an order," Jasper growled into the phone. Fuck, he was pissed. That was 6 hours ago.

Voicemail 6: "Peter, Bella is not doing well. She was screaming in her sleep in the hotel. I nearly had to smother her to keep the hotel manager from calling the cops. Please, she needs you. We're driving on now, please call me or come and find us." Rosalie was desperate now. Bella was screaming?

_Fuck, I'm a douche._

Text message 1: WTF? –JH.

Asshole's still using Rosalie's last name. He knows I hate when he does that shit.

Text message 2: I'm sorry, I don't know what I did. Plz come back! –RH

Rosalie didn't apologize in any of her voicemails, but maybe even better, I got it in writing. She still doesn't know why I got pissed.

Text message 3: FUCKHEAD! –EC

Emmett wasn't happy. I sighed, knowing he definitely wasn't gonna be happy to see me when we got to the Cullen home.

Text message 4: You left them? WTF? Where are you? Call me! –JH

Jasper.

Text message 5: Holiday Inn Express, 803 20th St. S.W., Jamestown, ND room 123. Call me! –RH

Text message 6: What's wet & white & sounds like a dying a rabbit? Ur dick in a blender. –JH

Again with the fluffy creatures, Jasper? Really? I am in so much fuckin' trouble.

Text message 7: You better keep fuckin' running! I'm going to get my wife and sister, asshole! –EC

Emmett was sure not gonna make this easy on me. I had to deal with him sooner rather than later; in reality I'd prefer never. Now, I knew he couldn't hurt me. I'm too good, but I just don't wanna deal with his fuckin' ass. I gotta find my mate, the bitch, and my truck.

At this point, I just wanted to go get Bella and run away with her. But I knew she probably needed the Doc. I didn't know shit about humans, let alone how their little brains worked. All I did know was hers was broken and I had to fix it. Or in this case, let the Doc fix it. Fuck, my nuts are gonna be roasted and sold at a carnival as toasted jawbreakers for humans.

I looked at the dead guy lying next to me. Well, at least I'm not hungry. Avoiding the inevitable, I sent a text.

To Rosalie: In Montana, where are you? I'll come to you.

My phone began ringing and I realized at that moment the "Bad Boys" theme song from the program Cops sung by Inner Circle was not what I wanted to hear as my fuckin' ring tone right now. They _are_ gonna get me. I wasn't worried about Emmett, but the Major was another fuckin' story. I shivered and answered the phone.

"Hi Rosalie," I said tentatively.

"Hi Peter, umm…we are nearing St. Cloud, Minnesota. Are…you…okay?" She was hesitant and nervous. Fuck. I did that to her. I didn't rip her head off, but she was afraid. This was to my benefit though; at least she wasn't mad at me.

xxxXXXXxxx

Bella wiggled out of my arms and stood up. I looked at her longingly but tried not to show the hurt on my face as she got up. "Where ya goin', cookie?" I asked Bella, trying to sound a lot happier than I was. She tolerated my nick names like a champ, despite the fact that Jasper kept telling me it annoyed the hell out of her. She didn't correct me verbally and I wasn't going to buy into what his emo ass had to say.

"I'm hungry. I'm going to get food, Peter," she said, like she was talkin' to a fuckin' child. I sighed and nodded, pretending to focus back on the television. She was _never_ in a good mood. Edward nodded his head in agreement with me and everyone else looked on expressionless. I wasn't sure what the fuck that meant, but whatever. I just wanted Bella better so we could leave this shithole.

Twenty minutes later, she came back and took her spot in my lap. She had one of those Lean Cuisine meals. Not because she needed to fuckin' lose weight, but because she said she wanted to keep the weight she lost off and Doc said she wouldn't be able to eat a lot anyways. I knew humans normally ate 3 meals a day, but she usually ate one and half. No one offered to cook for her anymore; she wouldn't eat it anyhow. She'd bypass anything anyone made and go make her own. She didn't even tell them no, she just didn't acknowledge them, or even me, when I had made the attempt.

I hugged her to me and though I could feel her body relax into mine, I knew she wasn't comfortable with me. Fuck, I couldn't even kiss my own fuckin' mate, but she let me hold her. She mindlessly gravitated towards me because her body told her to, but her brain had other ideas. As we settled back into mindless television, I let my mind wander back to how we got here. It was not without effort or complete fuckin' tension. That kind of tension that makes you wanna poke your eyes out with a burning fire poker just to feel relief. Yep, that kind of fuckin' tension.

xxxXXXxxx

It turns out Rosalie was meeting Emmett at the airport in St. Paul and I wasn't too far from there, so I met them at the airport too. I lucked out that we both arrived before Emmett, so I could apologize before he attempted to rip my fuckin' legs off. She was wary of me an' apologized first. I was shocked.

"I'm sorry, Peter. Jasper told me that I upset you because you thought I meant Bella was never going to get better. That's not what I meant. I just meant…well that I wouldn't leave her to fend for herself like we did before. I'll stay with her as she grows old." My eyes began to darken and I felt the fuckin' rage beginning to boil to the surface again. Bella wasn't gonna grow old; she was my fuckin' mate and she would be a vampire, soon. Rosalie held her hand up to stop my internal monologue that formulated her death in a variety of fiery situations, including one with Santa Claus and the fuckin' Easter Bunny. Yep, in my head they were on my fuckin' side.

"Just wait. I…well…Jasper…you're her mate, right?" she asked lamely, looking away. A low growl was coming from me and I hadn't even realized it until I stopped to answer her.

"Yesss," I hissed angrily at her. She nodded her head.

"Peter, you do know that she's Edward's mate, right? That he left her because he didn't want her changed. I just think that maybe you are wrong about this. She's Edward's; always has been… ," she trailed off as my growling intensified and I fisted the air at my sides trying not to kill her in public.

"That's enough, man." A large hard hand came down on my shoulder roughly and before I could even think I had Emmett pinned by his throat to the coke machine that was behind me. Luckily, those things are fuckin' plastic and easy to break, because it was fuckin' broken from the weight of Emmett's body.

"Don't…you…ever…fuckin'…touch…me!" I snarled at him. Rosalie was telling me to let him down, we were causing a scene, and that security had been called and they were on their way. I went and grabbed Bella from the chair we had left her in and went back to my truck.

"I'm riding in the back with her. One of ya can drive. But if either of ya fuckin' say one word about Bella, ya'll will be walkin' the rest of the way. Understood?" I was growling and my anger wasn't in check, but I had to keep Bella with me. She was fairly pliable, like a life sized Gumby just less green, and she even seemed to know what position she should be in, whether sitting, lying, or standing. She just didn't communicate with anyone.

Emmett and Rosalie discussed who would drive and decided on Emmett. He wanted to feel useful since he flew all the way out here. He didn't ask where I had been or where I came from. They knew I had fed recently, from a human obviously…maybe multiples, even I wasn't too fuckin' sure of what in the hell had happened.

My eyes in the airport weren't a big deal since they were black with anger most of the time; though scarier to look at, it made them less noticeable in the general public. Not that I cared. I dressed like a "hillbilly rocker" sort of, and colored contacts, though not common, are not unheard of. In short, I had a bad boy look and the "contacts" just emphasized it. I didn't believe in hiding my fuckin' eye color, but I knew the Cullens did.

After we had been on the road for about an hour, I had calmed down enough to say my peace. The car had been silent until then, the sound of air whipping around the truck and passing vehicles the only thing I heard, other than the thump thump of Bella's heart. That noise alone helped to calm me; feeling her warmth in my arms was a bit weird for me. I never held a human this long, but in a way it was relaxing also. She was safe.

"Okay, I'm only gonna say this once, so listen up you two. Rosalie, I'm sorry I left ya in the middle of Montana, but I blacked out. I'm honestly just happy as a fuckin' lark I didn't kill ya." I paused for a moment and let that sink in, but I didn't give either of them a chance to speak before I continued, "The other thing is, yes, Bella is my fuckin' mate. I don't know why Eddie boy thought she was his, but the first indication that she's not should be that he couldn't have left her. I want no more argument on this trip about Bella being my mate because I will not tolerate that concept. And Rosalie, once she's better, and she _will_ get better," I hugged her tiny frame a little tighter to me. "I will be turnin' her. Understood?" I asked the kids in the class, hoping they got this fuckin' lesson.

I know I didn't know either of them well, but I could definitely see the hesitancy to agree with me. They stayed quiet but nodded their heads while giving each other a fuckin' look that said 'ya right'. I didn't challenge them on it though. I wasn't gonna police their thoughts; they already had one stupid asshole to do that.

A bit later, I broke the silence again. I hated to be the first to speak again, but I had a few more questions. "Rosalie? Did you feed Bella today?" I asked, wondering if she was hungry. Emmett snickered from the driver's seat and Rosalie hit him hard on the arm. The slapping sound echoed in the fuckin' truck, sounding like a trashcan being crushed. Of course, Emmett was fine and I was still waiting for my answer. I knew how it sounded, but regardless, she did need to be fed.

"Yes, I fed her two shakes before we left. We should probably stop soon so she can use the bathroom." Well, I hadn't even thought of the bathroom issue. Rosalie would escort her into the bathroom and she would go, wash her hands, and everything. It was the weirdest damn thing. It freaked Rosalie out though, watching her rigid and jerky movements.

After that the, ice seemed to be broken and Em and Rosalie discussed where they should stop next. I stayed silent in the back seat with Bella sitting next to me. My arm was around her shoulders and I was absent mindedly stroking her hair. We stopped several times throughout the day to let Bella use the bathroom, fuel up the truck, and I gave her several of those shakes as we drove. Emmett didn't make many comments other than to say how horrible she looked and express his concern. He never once said anything to me. He and Rosalie would chatter idly here and there like fuckin' chipmunks, but honestly, I didn't give a shit what they were talking about.

In the end, it was quickly decided that we would drive straight through without stopping at a hotel. When it got dark, I laid Bella on the seat with her head in my lap and she fell asleep. I continued to keep contact with her and gently ran my fingers over her arm, played with her hair, and reassured her of my presence and she never screamed once. She looked a bit tense at times, but a few soft words from me and she relaxed again. Rosalie was relieved but began describing the horrible night she had with her as we continued our trip.

That led to me apologizing again, but this time I whispered my apology softly into Bella's ear as I craned my body over hers. I made pie crust promises to never run off again. I knew if my "demon" came out once more I would run; to keep her safe, I would leave her. But I would _always_ return.

**

* * *

AN: Okay, so after a scare and cursing that would make even Peter blush, believing this chapter completely disappeared from my computer, I learned I fuckin' love Google and I'm a mother-fuckin' genius! So ya'll get your chappie on time thanks to that. Otherwise, I was gonna have to rewrite the whole damn thing and I wasn't too fuckin' happy about that. This was mainly just a bit of fluff to get us to the Cullen home….next stop New Hampshire **

**Review if you please…or don't please *smirk* And then go check out my o/s bittersweetheart if you are interested. It's 18+ graphic violence. Check my profile for the summary (after you review).**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and dealing with my whiny insecurities that made this chapter.**

**Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

_Previously in Chapter 2:_

_That led to me apologizing again, but this time I whispered my apology softly into Bella's ear as I craned my body over hers. I made pie crust promises to never run off again. I knew if my "demon" came out once more I would run; to keep her safe, I would leave her. But I would always return. _

* * *

Chapter 3:

Peter's POV (always)

"I'm going to bed," Bella said, getting up and heading for the stairs. It was only 8:00, but she could sleep whenever she wanted. It wasn't like we had any form of fuckin' schedule around here, nor could she disturb us since we didn't sleep.

"Want company?" I asked hopefully, giving her a small smile. I just liked holding her to me.

"Yes." I started to get up when she looked from me to Jasper. "I could use some help tonight, Jazz," she finished. I was crestfallen. She wanted him and not me. He gave me a sad smile, feeling how heartbroken and disappointed I was.

"Sure thing, darlin'." He walked up and put an arm around her shoulders and I growled as they turned to go upstairs. "Maybe you should invite Peter, too," Jasper suggested softly in her ear. My growl continued, but I already knew the answer so I stayed where I was. I looked away just as she shook her head. "Sorry, man, I tried," he whispered quietly so Bella couldn't hear him.

I continued my low growl for about 25 fuckin' minutes while I suffered through the sounds of her getting ready for bed. I listened as she changed her clothes. Alice had tried to buy her new clothes, but Bella ignored them again. She borrowed a few things from Rose, but wouldn't keep them and heaven forbid I suggest going shopping. That got me locked out of the fuckin' room for an entire day.

Jasper was her drug of choice. Carlisle tried to give her prescriptions, but she said she didn't want them, that Jasper could help her naturally. She kept him close and he allowed it. I didn't like it, but it's what made her happy, well as happy as she could be, and her desire to be around him kept her from running away from us. But I was jealous. I wasn't allowed in the room the nights she "used" him until after she was asleep. That made me resentful on so many levels, and Jasper and I have had our issues over the last few weeks because of it.

Jasper had told me time and again he'd gladly say no to her request, but it was just to help her sleep and she needed the rest because her body was still healing. Sure, she was super fuckin' skinny and wasn't gaining much weight back, but it turned out her muscles were in really poor shape. She had a difficult time moving when she finally came out of her catatonic state, which was why her movements were so erratic. She had so much fuckin' muscle loss that things weren't working properly. Doc did a lot of physical therapy over the last 3 weeks to help her get to where her movements were more fluid again. Some things were just more difficult than others for her.

I hovered outside the bedroom door, listening to Jasper coax her into letting him help her. "Come on darlin', you need to let go, relax," he whispered softly. It was like listening to the devil lure a child and there was nothing I could do but stand outside that door with the fuckin' green-eyed monster and growl at them. I wouldn't stop what was happening, but it didn't mean I had to be happy about it.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. It's hard when there's all that _noise_ outside," she said emphatically, and I knew I was caught. I quickly cut off my growl, but it didn't matter.

"Let him come in, darlin'. I know you love him. Why do you have to torture him so?" She loves me? That's the first time he's ever confirmed that. She loves me and still treats me like a fuckin' piece of gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Well, shit.

"I just…not today, Jasper. Just help me get to sleep." I heard her scoot around on the bed and she made a happy sighing noise. What the fuck? I knew. I hated my fuckin' gift sometimes. I knew she was cuddled up with him. That fuckin' asshole! I tossed the door open and she didn't even flinch. She was out. He was keeping her incapacitated.

She was asleep next to Jasper, curled around his torso. He lay there, holding her to him with one hand around her back, the other behind his head. I saw fuckin' red when I noticed his hand was on her bare hip. My growls were at decibels that rocked the windows. Jasper didn't move, didn't say anything as my eyes went from red to black and honed in on him. I couldn't fuckin' hurt him while she was wrapped around his ass, but I could try.

I stalked towards them and he held his free hand up to stop me. I felt the calm wash over me and I tried to fight it, but there was no fighting Jasper. When my growls had reduced in volume he spoke calmly, like I was never plannin' on killin' his fuckin' ass. Of course, you can't just kill the God of War and many have died tryin', but fuck if I wasn't willin' to try, right the fuck now!

"Simmer down, soldier," he whispered. Like I was just going to say, 'okay, yes sir, sorry sir'. The fuckin' prick. "I need skin to skin contact for this to work with her, Peter."

"I…don't…care," I growled out and he gave me a pitying look. Not helpin' fucker!

"Peter, you heard everything; I tried to get her to let you in here. She loves you. She didn't deny it. She's also mad and confused at all of us. She has yet to grieve for Charlie and she doesn't fully understand what happened to her. Not to mention Assward down there made her feel like total shit and she doesn't trust her feelings anymore. Just give her time. She has a lot to fuckin' process."

I nodded in defeat and sat against the wall across from the bed, not taking my eyes off of Jasper's hand; the one that was touching _my _mate. My eyes stayed trained on that hand as my mind returned to the day we got to the Cullen home. I should have taken Bella and run that day. I coulda figured her health shit out on my own. But I knew that we needed Doc, that she needed him.

**xxxXXXXxxx**

We drove straight through and arrived at the Cullen house mid-afternoon. Not much was said during our trip except for discussions on where and when to stop and the idle chit-chat between Ken and Barbie in the front seat.

I was thoroughly pissed at this situation. I had to ride in _my_ truck with the two morons, holding my Gumby doll of a mate. I'd prefer to call her Pokey, because I'd eventually like to "pokey" her, but I didn't have high hopes. My 6th sense told me that she was going to be okay and that was a fuckin' load off, but I still didn't know when or how to make that come about. Then of course, there was no fuckin' guarantee that she was going to accept me. I don't know what happens when a vampire mates with a human. I wondered if the human felt it too. Not to mention I was gonna be the one to tell her I killed her fuckin' father.

Her father. I wasn't sure how she was gonna react to that issue. I couldn't imagine she'd want anything to do with him because of what he'd done to her, but what if she didn't want him tortured to death? I did torture the sick fucker. He was sick!

We pulled up in front of the house and were greeted by Jasper, his fuckin _wife_ Alice, Doc, and his wife. Hmmm, no mind reader. Before anything could be said, Doc was at the back door of the truck, reaching for Bella. A loud fuckin' snarl erupted from me without any conscious thought as I warned him that he was not taking my mate. Emmett scoffed and Rosalie didn't say anything, choosing to exit the truck silently.

Esme and Rosalie embraced as I carried Bella with me out of the truck. She let her body sag against mine as I asked where to take her as my chest rumbled with my continuous growl. Doc had wisely taken my warning to heart. He moved away to give Emmett and Rosalie each a quick hug.

"Peter, we're so glad you were able to come," Esme said, presumably coming to "help" me with Bella until my sharp, stout snarl stopped her in her tracks. I was barely hanging on to my sanity when we arrived at the home and I think Jasper knew it because he and Alice stayed still and silent. Rosalie went to greet them and they gave her terse greetings as though they were mad at her. I couldn't understand why, but it made me wonder if maybe their distance wasn't because of me, but because of her.

I brought Bella into a bedroom that Esme kindly directed me to, like she was some fuckin' Vanna White wannabe showing off the newly decorated room; because yeah, the catatonic girl and the barely there vampire give a flyin' fuck.

The whole family followed as I lay Bella on the bed and immediately covered her fragile-as-a-wafer-cookie fuckin' body with my own. I couldn't control the continuous growls that erupted from me as the family entered the room, only to retreat quickly at the sound of my agitation.

Jasper sauntered in like he owned the fuckin' place, which in a way I guess he did, but regardless, he didn't heed my growls, even as they grew in volume when he took a seat in the dark green arm chair. Because, again yeah, every fuckin' bedroom needs an arm chair in it, right? _What-the-fuck-ever Cullens_, I thought, rolling my eyes internally. Part of my brain remembered the white settee I found Rosalie on at the other house after dispensing of Bella's father. In reality though, my eyes were glued to the man I called a brother as I processed his threat to my mate.

"Knock it off, asshole. You're scarin' the family," he drawled in a Southern accent. Like him fakin' his fuckin' accent that he got rid of years ago, was gonna make me feel all warm and sugary.

"I…don't…care," I spit through my teeth. I felt the calm he sent invade my muscles, my brain, my very core and I hated that fuckin' feelin'. I hated that he thought he had to control me like that.

"You want Carlisle to look at her right? Try to help her? You're gonna have to let him in, Peter." I hated that he was right. I looked down at the fragile skeleton that I was leaning over. I was keeping my body completely off her, but covering her from Jasper's sight. I was the hard coating to the gooey yummy inside, much like a fuckin' Milky Way candy bar.

I felt my body relax against my will and that angered my mind further, though my body was powerless to stop him. Fuckin' manipulatin' asshole!

I carefully removed myself from above my gooey yummy girl and stood next to the bed staring at him. Waiting for I dunno what, but something, anything.

He slowly rose from the chair and smiled brightly; his calm receded and he stuck a hand out. "Good to see ya again, brother." I didn't shake his hand. I walked forward like I was gonna shake it, but instead, I pulled a fist back. Before I could even throw the punch, my arm was grabbed and I was twisted so my face was planted in the wall that was previously behind Jasper. I felt the drywall give as my body was ground into it by the sheer force of Jasper's body pressing against mine.

He doused me into a fuckin' puddle of goo calm state, so I couldn't fight back and held me there while he spoke. "I should rip your arms off for leaving my sisters out there, you asshole. And…I should rip your legs off for trying to attack me. You know better, _brother_," he said snidely. "Now tell me, Pe-ter, should we see what your dick really sounds like in a blender?"

I cringed at his words. He had once been sadistic enough to do just that and then burn it so there was no getting that happy appendage back. Glad blenders weren't a popular thing when I was turned. I couldn't fight him, his gift made it impossible. So I did the only other thing I could think of. I said, "Why don't you go fuck the magic 8 ball you call a wife? After all, she's just like the plastic ball…flat bottom and full of vague answers that all boil down to 'concentrate and ask again later'."

I crumpled to the ground, unable to catch myself because of all the weak shit he had been pumping into me, but I was still victorious as he growled and left to comfort his little toy. She was downstairs whining how I was never gonna like her. And she was mother fuckin' right! She wasn't good for him. Look at him. He just left me crumpled on the ground, after I attacked him and insulted his wife, _wife not mate_. He's a pussy mother-fucker; the Major never would have left a foe to coddle a woman, even if it was me.

I was calmer after that. However, the little altercation that made me feel like a sack of potatoes being tossed the fuck around, did actually fuckin' help me in the long run. As I got to my feet, studying the fuckin' Peter sized dent in the drywall, I smelled Doc comin' down the hall. He knocked lightly, keepin' his fuckin' distance, but announcing his presence all the same.

"Yeah, check her out, Doc. Just know I'll be watchin'." I turned to face him, giving him a stern look. He nodded, medical bag already in hand. He made his way to the end of the bed and sat down next to Bella. I appeared instantly on the other side of the bed and took her tiny, limp, bony hand in mine. It helped me feel better to know I had that contact with her, that I was there for her.

Some silent pokes and probes later he turned to me. "Peter, I need you to let go of her hand for a minute." I didn't understand why, but complied by gently setting it on the bed. He looked at me with sad eyes and I instantly started to worry. "If," he emphasized, "you would allow me…I'd like to do a pelvic exam," he paused, letting that sink in. I was glad he had me let go of her hand so I didn't crush it and I was doing my best not to rip his head off. If I could shoot steam out of my fuckin' ears right now I would, along with hollering "choo-choo"; instead, I froze.

My mind reeled at the idea of anyone looking at her or touching her ever again. My demon wanted to kill him for even making the suggestion and though my vision was clouded and I had tuned the world out momentarily, I knew exactly where he was. I was keeping track of the slightest movement, but at the moment, there was none. I focused on Bella's heartbeat and tried to think rationally. Did she need to be examined? He said, 'if'. 'If I allowed it'. It was up to me. I didn't have to kill him to keep him from touching her there. Her father did who knows how much damage, but did it matter? She was my mate and I would turn her as soon as she came out of this mummy bullshit.

"What the fuck does it change if you do?" I asked, my tone slightly angrier than I intended.

"Well, we can smell she's not bleeding and there's no infection, but I'd look to see if there is any permanent damage. I'm guessing she's not going to let me know if she's in pain though. I can just see if she is fully functional and healthy and if there is any…scarring," he gulped slightly on the last word. It was also painful for him to discuss the situation.

"No." I didn't bother to elaborate. He just nodded his head and put his stuff back into the medical bag. I'm glad he didn't argue with me because I was barely holding it together. Although, with the Major in the house, I didn't have to worry too fuckin' much about doing damage; he could stop me in a hummingbird's heartbeat. That thought alone helped me relax; knowing I wasn't gonna hurt anyone or kill anyone at least.

"You should have let him check her," Rose said from downstairs. I ignored her. The only one I hadn't heard from yet was Alice and I was fuckin' thankful. My dislike for her and her childish happy hyper fuckin' attitude put her at the top of my shit list automatically.

I shed my t-shirt, boots, and jeans, picked Bella up and pulled the covers down, sticking her in bed, fully clothed. I remembered the sores on Bella's back and called Doc back into look at them. I held her shirt up, making sure to keep her chest covered while he looked at them. He said they were bed sores. I didn't know beds hurt people? From downstairs, Jasper stated, "He's confused, Carlisle," snickering as he finished speaking.

Carlisle gave me a soft smile and explained they were sores on her pressure points from lying down so much. The constant contact and pressure on those areas of her body had caused her skin to break down. I looked down at her in anger. Why was she doing this to herself? Jasper and Alice were next to Carlisle in the next second, looking at me warily.

"What?" I barked out.

"You're pissed, that's what. You aren't hurting Carlisle just because you don't like the explanation." Jasper narrowed his eyes at me and I felt a subtle amount of serenity invade me. Most people and even vampires wouldn't have noticed it; they would have thought they were coming down naturally, but knowing Jasper for as long as I have, I knew it was all him.

"That's not why I'm mad, you fuckin' moron. I'm mad because she's just lying there. She's not doing anything. She doesn't have to be this way. She functions minimally, but I know enough to know it's a decision. _Isn't it, Alice?" _ I said, sneering at her as I asked.

She shook her head sadly and looked down. "I can't see her. Anything about her. I can see people's decisions regarding her. Like Rose bringing her here and you wanting to change her…" My narrowed, darkening eyes cut her ramble off.

I spent the next 3 days cuddling my mate and watching as she made her awkward movements to and from the restroom. Always the same. Fuckin' freaky ass shit no one wanted to see. Alice cried the first time she saw it. Esme stared off into space for six hours straight before Carlisle moved her to their room and gave her a massage. As Esme came out of her shock, she bawled like a hungry baby without a tit to suck on.

Jasper stuck by my side, mostly silently. That was him though, the strong silent type. Rosalie and Emmett stayed away. Rosalie was pretty upset over the whole incident, and knowing her history, I guess I can see why. Emmett would come up daily for a couple of minutes to ask if there was a change. Like I wouldn't announce it with a fuckin' party and paper hats if there was. He'd glance at her longingly for a moment, which I didn't care much for, but Jasper assured me it was brotherly love and nothing more.

On day three, Carlisle said he wanted to try an injection of some anti-Parkinson's drug. He said it probably wouldn't hurt her if it didn't work. Apparently, he had found Charlie's diary among his stuff and attempted to read it. Although he said he "skimmed" many parts, he did pay attention to the care and the medications that were given to Bella.

I have to admit, I was a bit upset to find out we should have been giving Bella more than just those shakes while we travelled. But we didn't know; neither one of us had ever had to care for a human, before, let alone one pretending to be a large green bendy cartoon character. I honestly wasn't concerned that much with her physical health as long as her heart sounded good. I wanted to change her, but I was too afraid to do it before she snapped out of this fuckin' zombie state she was in. After all, we "freeze", more like burn like a mother-fuckin' twig in a forest fire, how we are. We don't grow or change and though our mental capacity expands, I just wasn't sure what it'd do to Bella. I knew I didn't want her to be a fuckin' perma-veg, so I waited.

Carlisle gave her the shot and thirty minutes later we heard a car coming towards the house. That's the nice thing about the Cullen's homes; they always chose secluded locations so you could hear visitors coming from about a mile away.

I looked to Jasper in question as my body automatically curled tighter around Bella and he shrugged at me. My demon was ready to kill, maim, torture, whatever I had to do to keep her safe from the unknown intruder. Carlisle was asking the family if they were expecting anyone, but I zoned everything around me out, focusing on the approaching vehicle. It was a fast little four cylinder of some sort, which meant it wasn't a delivery truck and it contained no heartbeat, which meant he/she/it wasn't human. Fuck! My growls began rumbling through the house as the rest of the family went to the front porch to await the visitor. More likely to save the fucker's life.

I had gotten used to the morons around the house and I knew Jasper wouldn't let me kill them. I also knew that I could and would protect my mate with every fiber of my being and right now she was totally vulnerable, unable to care for or defend herself in the slightest.

I listened as Esme and Carlisle gasped, and Jasper whispered, "Oh shit." The rest of the family remained quiet. I instantly _knew_ I didn't like the "visitor" who had come _home_.

I was downstairs and had the car door off, ripping Edward's fuckin' arm off before he even got the car in park. I immediately pulled the rest of him out of the car and noted that Rose took off to stop the rolling car from hitting the house. Everyone gasped and yelled and I think someone was crying as I beat Edhead with his own fuckin' arm. He ducked and evaded, but he never said a word even when I did get a hit in. In my fury, I thought about what had happened to my mate, what her father had done, and what I had done in retaliation. I eventually knocked him down and stood on his chest while I began biting the detached arm I held above his body. I pushed as much venom in as I could into each and every mark, letting him know there was one for each month she endured that vile monster.

When I was done, I picked him up and shoved his arm back on so he could feel the full effect of my venom flowing into his arm and then into his body as it healed. It was twice as painful as it would have been had I just bit his arm without removing it. This was for two reasons, one: my venom was helping to heal the tear in his arm adding to the pain and two: I made sure the wounds were deep & full of venom.

Edward was moaning in pain, trying to be brave but then he began to whine about the scaring he'd have. Jasper walked up and tossed his shirt on the ground next to him. I'm sure he was silently daring him to say something more about scars. Jasper and I both looked like we had been large ass fuckin' chew toys and since he was quite a bit older, his were a lot worse than mine.

I didn't stick around while everyone said their hellos and asked if Edward was okay. He's a fuckin' vampire, of course he's okay. I returned to my mate, knowing this night was gonna get a lot fuckin' worse. She stared at me solemnly from the bed as I entered the room. "Where am I and who the hell are you?" And fuck, here comes the drama.

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**AN: Good? Bad? Ugly? Review and let your opinion be known!**

**And SHE'S AWAKE! Wonder what she remembers? **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and well this one went smoothly so that's all they did LOL….love you girls!**

**Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**I'm sorry if the jumping around is getting confusing for everyone. How it works is the chapter always starts in "the present" time. Then we skip back in time to where the chapter left off after the xxxXXXxxx. I hope that makes sense. You're seeing what's going on now and then how they got there. But it's not congruent. It is choppy and confusing and you are supposed to be somewhat confused. Because I'm a bitch like that and enjoy tormenting my readers. **

_Previously in Chapter 3:_

_I didn't stick around while everyone said their hellos and asked if Edward was okay. He's a fuckin' vampire, of course he's okay. I returned to my mate, knowing this night was gonna get a lot fuckin' worse. She stared at me solemnly from the bed as I entered the room. "Where am I and who the hell are you?" And fuck, here comes the drama._

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Chapter 4:

Peter's POV (always)

"Hey fucker, you are NOT her mate! I know you're not! Will you just listen to me for one fuckin' minute?" I was tired of having this argument. We've been having it for years, but Jasper just wouldn't fuckin' listen.

"Peter," he sighed, tired of the whole damn thing. "If she's not my mate, then who is?" He looked at me, waiting patiently.

"Fine, I don't fuckin' know who is! But that little manipulating wanna-know-it-all bitch isn't! I'm sure of it!" I wish I had an answer for him. A name, anything. He just shook his head at me, giving me a smirk I wanted to beat off his face.

"Peter, it's not your gift telling you, is it? It's the fact that you just don't like her." He was sure of himself, but he looked like he was trying not to gloat.

"Well, it's more difficult than that, Jazz. It is my gift to a degree, but…damn it, Jazz! You are just too powerful to be munchin' on fuckin' bunnies and deer and shit. You have other things that you are supposed to do in your existence and you can't do them with the controlling saddle bag you keep attached to your hip, and you can't do it going to fuckin' high school all the fuckin' time! It's not how it's supposed to be! You need to dump the bitch!" I swiped my hand over my face in frustration as he stood there stoically staring at me.

After a long pregnant pause, he finally asked, "What am I supposed to do?" And to prove my fuckin' point, the gypsy queen popped out of the trees and ran to Jasper's side.

"I missed you, Jazzy." I wanted to vomit. "Come home; we're gonna take Bella to dinner."

"What?" I asked, confused. Why would a bunch of vampires take Bella out to eat?

"She wants to get out of the house. Emmett said he'd take her to dinner and she agreed, but I thought it'd be fun if we all went. Come on guys!" She skipped away and I raised an eyebrow at my brother.

"Do you wanna go with seven other vampires to eat out with one human?" I asked and he gave me a chagrined look.

"Not really, but if Bella wants us to go, I'll go." I stared at him.

"Fucker, you realize it wasn't Bella's idea, it was your manipulating bitch's. Did you hear her say Bella wanted it?" I continued to level him with my gaze as he replayed the conversation in his head and probably tried to figure out a reply.

"So what do you want me to do?" he asked looking lost.

"AHH!" I screamed. "I want you to think for your fuckin' self, you twat-head! I want you to be a man again instead of a pussy on a leash! I want the fuckin' Major to show himself, because that's who you really are!" I finished my tirade and began heading back for the house. I wasn't letting them take my girl to dinner.

I had come out here to have a talk with Jasper about leaving the Cullens and instead we wound up fighting about his fuckin' bitchpire of a wife, who then, oh so kindly came to _tell _us what we would be doin'. I can't take it anymore. I need to get away from all these fuckin' circus freaks! Its like "Cullens on Ice" or some shit show, where you sit around watching people move and dance, pretending to be something they aren't.

Before I knew what was happening, I was tackled to the ground and the sound of a fuckin' five car pileup resonated throughout the forest. I couldn't move; the mother-fucker was pumpin' fear into me that I hadn't felt since I awoke to this life/death disaster. My brain knew it was just Jasper, but my body was shakin' like a leaf in a tornado.

"You wanted me, asshole. Now you got me," he said in a sharp whisper against my ear. His gravelly voice was calm, commanding, and in control. Ahh, the Major. The scene was reminiscent of the Joker and Batman having a fuckin' come to Jesus moment. I can't control the Major and I sure can't control my body when the Major's in control of it, but I can control my mouth and I only had one thing to say.

"It's about fuckin' time."

**xxxXXXXxxx**

Bella was awake and the other seven vampires flooded into the room at the sound of her voice. It didn't matter that I wanted a moment alone with her. And as soon as she saw them, the screaming began. And when I say screaming, that's exactly what it was, fuckin' bloody murder. My mate was screaming and therefore I felt the need to protect her. I rounded on the others and backed myself up to the bed where she was still letting loose a sound that people only make when their souls are being fuckin' tortured.

I growled and crouched, ready to attack. Edward was the first to suggest leaving because I was protecting her. He backed out of the room followed by Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper. Emmett, Doc, and Esme all lingered a bit too long and I took a step towards them, ready to throw them out if need be. Edward called to them from the hall, letting them know I was preparing to attack. Esme retreated and Emmett glanced at Doc for instructions. Fucker couldn't save his own ass.

Bella had refilled her lungs and continued to scream, but the tone had reduced and they had become more like long winded sobs than actual screams. Doc looked at her one more time and then nodded to Emmett that they should leave as I took another step towards them. When they were out the door, I closed it and immediately returned to my hysterical mate.

I put my hands on her shoulders and she attempted to back away from me, so I let her go. In her awkward scramble, she moved diagonally and fell off the bed, landing with a thud that sounded like someone dropped a cannon ball in the room. I smirked at her as I walked slowly around the bed to help her up. I was upset she wanted to get away from me, but confident that she would accept me.

"To answer your question after we were so rudely interrupted," I said, placing her back on the bed. "I am Peter, Jasper's brother, and apparently your mate."

She sat there staring at me and I just maintained eye contact. Her fall had at a least calmed her down, but her rapid breathing alerted me to the fact that she hadn't fully recovered from her earlier torment.

I sat down next to her but didn't touch her. I didn't need her freaking out or falling off the fuckin' bed again; after all, she's not silly putty- she won't bounce back.

She gawked at me for about 20 minutes without saying a word. She just stared like I was the most interesting sculpture she had ever seen, which in a way, I hoped I was. I just let her stare, looking right back at her. Her eyes had more life in them and they were streaming with tears. Her face was red and blotchy and I just wanted to hold her.

I could hear the Cullens downstairs asking Edward and Alice what was going on up here since they both had more "insight", but I honestly tried not to pay attention to them. I just sat there willing, wishing, praying, hoping, and throwing fuckin' pennies in the proverbial well, that she would know she was my mate. It was instant for me, but that's how it's supposed to be. See your mate and you just know. No one even needed my gift to know who their mate was; they were automatically the other part of your soul and you didn't want to be without them.

I know my eyes were more black than red, because I was thirsty. I'm sure it was like looking at a spinning roulette wheel, a blur of black and red, but she stared at them nonetheless. I had been unwilling to leave Bella and it had been nearly five days since I had eaten. Usually, I only went three to four max and every other was the norm.

This is how I knew I gorged myself when in Minnesota or on my way to Minnesota, whichever. I hadn't been too hungry. Which was a good thing, because the fuckin' Cullens were fuckin' nuts and I was honestly worried if I left to hunt, I'd come back and they'd be gone with my woman. I never voiced that concern of course, but it was there. It wasn't my gift telling me that either, it was just my gut feeling. Always go with your gut.

After the twenty minute staring contest, where the only thing I was trying to win was her heart, she finally sighed and scooted down the bed. "I'm tired," she croaked out as she laid down to rest. Her stomach actually grumbled and that was the first time I had heard that.

"Do want something to eat, sugar?" I asked quietly, trying not to disturb the serene mood that settled around us.

"No," she rasped. I wasn't sure if her voice was bad from the screaming or lack of use. She was softly snoring and breathing deeply within two minutes. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there. Again praying to Allah, Buddha, God, Ra, and all other deities I could think of that she would wake up again. Everyone stayed downstairs, but Esme the ever-loving caretaker of the fuckin' Brady bunch asked if I needed anything. Actually, I did.

"Some food and assorted drinks would be good. She's hungry, but I don't know what she likes."

"I do, come on," Edward said. With that, I heard him and Esme leave to go grocery shopping. All we had in the house was soup, those medical shakes, and water. Jasper knocked on the door and I allowed him in.

"Her screams weren't of fear, brother. They were pain and confusion. I think we really shocked her. With you she was just upset and puzzled, but seeing us all show up was too much for her. We've agreed that you'll talk to her, tell her what's been going on and if she wants to see us, she can. Whoever she asks for will come. We think it will be most likely Edward. I know you told her you are her mate but…" he paused and made noticeable movements to step away.

"But?" I prodded, knowing I wasn't gonna like what he had to say.

"Well, Edward was her mate; he left her so she could live a human life, safe and free of vampires. She…well…all I feel from you is protectiveness and possessiveness, not love."

The growl had begun building in my chest as soon as he started talking about Edward being her mate. "Shut up, you're gonna wake her," Jasper reminded me, nodding towards sleeping beauty lying on the bed.

I stalked towards him, knowing full well he'd take me down, but I was gonna say my peace to his _face_. "Listen, asshole. I _am_ her mate. I knew it the moment I got to look fully into her eyes, even though they were dead. I _do_ love her, but all you feel is the shit that is taking over right now. My need to protect her and keep her is dominant as hell because she can't take care of herself. You saw how she reacted to all of you. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Be all ooey-gooey in love an' shit. I can't do that. I am like a fuckin' osprey right now man, I'll protect my mate at all costs."

He chuckled, "Osprey man? A fuckin' bird? Seriously?"

"Shut up, asshole. They are large birds of prey and very loyal to one another. What, do you want me to say…that I'm like some fuckin' dog that imprinted?"

He full out began to laugh and I didn't get it, but I didn't care. His laughter was waking Bella up as her heart rate and breathing began to change. I was happy to notice the differences, since before there was no change between her awake and asleep states.

"You woke her up, asshole. Get out." I turned my back on him and made my way back to sit on the bed where I was when she fell asleep. Jasper complied and left silently.

I heard Doc tellin' the others that he needed to see her and check her out now that she was cognizant again, but I wasn't gonna tell him it was okay.

She opened her eyes and looked around the room. She sat up and looked around some more. Her eyes glanced over me, but never stayed. It looked like she was lookin' for somethin'.

"Lose something, sweetheart?" I asked with a smile. Her eyes moved back to me and stopped. She tried to stretch while continuing to look at me, but it didn't look natural and she groaned loudly.

"You only answered one of my questions last time. I didn't actually expect you to still be here, but where am I?"

I did only answer one question. I thought it was the more important of the two at the time. "You're in New Hampshire at the Cullen home," I answered. I figured this was inquisition time and I was dreading tellin' her about her father.

"Why?"

"Why what, exactly?" I prompted her.

"Why am I in New Hampshire at the Cullen home?"

"Well, you've been here for a few days. Doc was able to give you some juice that I'm assuming woke ya up." I wasn't gonna tell her more unless she asked.

"What day is it?" she asked cautiously.

"April 29, darlin'." I let that one sink in. Her eyes widened and her head whipped around the room. I pulled my cell phone out knowing she wanted confirmation. I handed it to her and she fiddled with it for a moment.

"What the fuck?" The phrase came out garbled and was mainly for her own ears, but we could all hear it. Alice and Emmett giggled and stated that she never cursed. I filed that away for later because I had a mouth like a fuckin' truck driver that used to be a sailor.

"Okay, I get that you say you're my mate. I'm in New Hampshire at the Cullen house. All the Cullens are here, plus you. It's _April!_ And I have no idea where the last seven months have gone. I need to use the bathroom, my throat hurts from screaming, and I'm hungry. So…," she paused to think and I didn't interrupt. She was doing really well, in my opinion.

"Can you get me something to eat and drink? I'm going to shower and take a human moment and then I want to know what is going on. Sound like a plan? Oh and you need to eat, too." She motioned to my eyes and I was shocked that she knew that. Not only that, but she didn't say anything about my diet. I honestly hope she doesn't. I won't be doing the Bambi diet.

"I'll get a bite later. Is there anything you want, specifically? And do you want to eat downstairs or would you prefer room service?" I asked. She tried to stretch again and her movements were still awkward and stunted. I gave her a disapproving glance, but didn't say anything. God, I hope she's okay. I really don't think having a mate who moves like some dead chick in a horror movie is a good thing here.

She tried to get up and it wasn't easy for her. I finally gave her a hand and silently helped her to the bathroom. "Ya gonna be alright, punkin'?"

"Yeah, I think so. Let's do room service, please," she said with a blush. I loved seeing that color on her. As soon as she looked away from me and into the mirror though, she became deathly pale. It was like someone drained the blood from her body, except I could hear her heart beat take off like a bat trying to escape the flames of hell.

"Punkin'?" I asked as she collapsed into my arms. "Doc!" I hollered and carried her back to the bed. He was in the room instantly, asking what happened.

"I honestly don't know, she's not moving very well and she looked in the mirror then went from beat red to vampire white and fainted," I explained.

Doc put his hand on her head and declared her clammy, which wasn't a good thing. She began to come around quickly though and he stayed right where he was, with his hand on her head. I hated seeing him touch her, but I knew he could help her. I didn't want him to be the first one she saw when she woke up though. My jealousy and possessiveness were warring with my desire to let Doc take care of my mate.

"Carlisle?" she mumbled.

"Yes, Bella. Are you alright? Do you know why you fainted?" he asked and she shook her head like she was trying to clear it. He removed his hand and she rubbed her face.

"Weird dreams," she mumbled.

"What's a weird dream?" I asked from around Doc. Her head snapped up in the direction of my voice and her eyes widened, like she had never seen me before.

"You. You're real?" she asked, shaking her head again.

"Yes, cupcake. I'm real. I thought you understood that. You were going to shower and you fainted," I explained, unsure of what else to do.

She began shaking her head back and forth as her body started to vibrate uncontrollably. Jasper appeared in the doorway, Doc had left the door open. "She's freaking out. Her emotions are all over the board and I can't calm her. She's anxious and confused and ton of other things. I think she's having a nervous breakdown," he said quickly and quietly so she couldn't hear him.

"Move," I ordered Doc as I grabbed him to pull him away from her. I took his place on the bed and grabbed her head, stilling her movements. "Stop. Shhh. You're okay. I'm here. I'm gonna take care of you. It's okay. You're okay. Look at me. Look at me, Bella." I held her head gently, but she was still shaking uncontrollably and her eyes were rolling around in her head like a wobbly-eyed doll. "Look at me." I repeated about 10 times before she actually did.

"You're okay. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. Stay with me, princess." I held her head as her eyes focused on me, watching the light of recognition come back into them. I smiled at her and then without a thought, I hugged her. I was surprised when she hugged me back, awkwardly because her arms weren't working right, and she began to cry.

"I don't know what's going on," she sobbed. I waved the two fuckers that were here for the freak show out of the room and heard the door close behind them.

"Shhh…it's okay. Everything is gonna be okay as long as I'm here," I told her with a cocky tone, trying to get her to smile. She looked up at me and sniffled. She wasn't ready to smile, yet. But, she trusted me; I could see it in her eyes.

Soon, there was a light knock on the door and I knew it was Esme with food and drinks. Bella tensed a bit at the sudden sound. She wouldn't have heard the conversations downstairs or the footsteps coming this way, but I did. I went to the door and Esme presented a tray with a sandwich, a bowl of chopped fruit, yogurt, orange juice, pop, and water. I guess they were making sure she had choices. I thanked her quietly and though I knew she wanted to see Bella, I shut the door anyhow, because a man can only take so much fuckin' drama.

"Here, cupcake. Hungry?" I asked with a smile, presenting her the tray. She looked at the tray and back to me. I could see she wanted to smile, but for whatever reason it didn't happen. I actually wondered if her smile muscles were broken.

"I still need to use the bathroom." I nodded, set the tray off to the side and picked her up, bringing her into the bathroom. And thank fuck, she didn't complain.

"I know things are weird right now and I promise to answer all your questions. I'm going to stand on the other side of the door and you do everything you need to do. Try not to look in the mirror again. I know that's what upset you earlier. You look fine to me, just a little too skinny is all," I said with a smile. "I'll be right here waiting for you, okay?" I gave her a pointed look. She nodded.

I heard her use the toilet and then wash her hands and presumably her face. Then, I heard her gasp. I was at her side in an instant. "I told you not to look in the mirror, at least not until you have the answers you need." She nodded, but continued to look at her reflection, pushing around on her face like she couldn't believe it was hers. "Come on, dumplin'," I said. Without giving her a choice, I picked her up and carried her back to the bed.

She still looked like she was in shock. She picked up the pop and took a sip and before I knew it she was gulping the whole thing down. Wow, I guess she was thirsty. Another knock came at the door and it was Esme with another pop, this time in a can. "Edward said she's in shock and this helps her," she whispered. I silently and begrudgingly thanked Edward in my head as I brought the pop over to Bella.

She whispered "thank you" and set it down next to her. She studied the food and I moved it a bit closer to her. She chose the sandwich and took a bite. I watched her unashamedly; never having paid much attention to human's eating. It was honestly kind of gross, but I guess so was the way we ate. I liked watching her though. "Explain," she said before taking another bite.

"Well…I'm not sure where to start. I guess I don't know the whole story, sweetheart." I shrugged, not sure what to tell her and how to avoid the fuckin' truth…'your dad molested you and I murdered him.'

"Start with how you got here, or how I got here, or where you came into the picture." She took another bite and then a large gulp of the pop. She continued to eat and I knew I was screwed.

"Well…Shit darlin'. Let's start with me. I'm a vampire, I've known Jasper forever; literally, he changed me. We consider ourselves brothers and I have a gift. I have the gift of knowing. I just know shit. I know when things are going to happen, what people want, that I need to be somewhere at a specific time, but I won't always know the details. I just know shit. Got it?" I asked. She nodded and nibbled on a bit of the fruit. She had only eaten half the sandwich. I couldn't believe she was full already, but she had pretty much stopped eating.

"A week ago, I _knew_ I needed to be in Forks. I thought it was just a visit to see Jasper, since he was there. No big deal."

"Don't do it, man," Emmett said from downstairs. Rosalie seconded his advice while Esme and Doc agreed, too.

"I won't lie," I growled and Bella raised an eyebrow at me. She pushed the food away and I looked at it. "Don't humans need to eat more?" I asked as I set it on the dresser across the room.

"I'm full." She lied down on the bed again, her movements still awkward. I didn't argue. I didn't know enough about humans _to_ argue. It's not like I hung around them all day, only when I was thirsty. "So you won't lie, go on," she said. I growled, not at her, but at the situation.

"I found Rosalie at the house and she was upset. Everyone else had moved and she had returned to _check_ on you." My emphasis in check didn't go unnoticed by her, but she didn't ask at the moment. I wasn't gonna lie, but I sure as shit didn't wanna tell her Rose was there to verify that she was dead.

"Well shit, sweetheart. I don't wanna tell you the rest. You're gonna hate me and it's horrible. Can you tell me what you remember?" I asked.

She scrunched up her face in the cutest fuckin' way; she would have been a much better model for cabbage patch kids. Those fuckers looked like constipated babies on crack or some shit, but she was adorable.

"I remember my birthday…," she paused and looked down at her right arm pulling the t-shirt up to reveal a long thin scar. I had seen it, didn't know what it was from though. Silently her eyes bugged out.

"What's up, buttercup?" I asked, trying to lighten the damn mood.

"This, this scar…still had stitches in it the last time I saw it." She looked at me with a furrowed brow and with a deep breath she began telling the story again. "My birthday party, Jasper attacked me. Edward threw me into a table full of glass plates." She nodded towards her arm. I guess that was the result of the glass plates.

"He was distant from then on. A couple or maybe three days later, I'm not sure, he asked me to take a walk in the woods…" Again, she scrunched her face up and then her eyes narrowed in anger as her face became red. "He essentially told me I was no good for him, that I was a distraction, and that the family was moving away. He left me there in the woods and I tried to follow him." She looked up at me with big brown innocent looking eyes. "That's the last thing I remember."

A loud crash and growls were heard from downstairs, accusations flying around about whose fault it was that the family left Bella. Emmett was after Edward physically, Edward was after Jasper physically, Rosalie was yelling after Emmett, and Doc and Esme were yelling after Edward. Alice apparently was after herself as she was just dry sobbing uncontrollably. As long as they kept their shit downstairs I didn't care. Sure, I was pissed Edward said that shit to my mate but she didn't have to go batshit crazy because some fuckin' virgin goody two-shoes left her.

Another crash sounded downstairs, along with more yelling and growling and Bella cringed. "I'm sorry for causing so many problems. I shouldn't be here. Why am I here, Peter?" Well that's the million fuckin' dollar question right there. Now how do I give her an answer that won't have her leavin' me or wantin' me deader than one of Jasper's afternoon animal crackers? Fuck!

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AN: Now for anyone who wants to complain this is confusing first jump to my story "The Devil Inside" it's only 2 chapters and it is complete and yep totally fucked up LOL. But one of my favs! **

**And a quick thanks to everyone who checked out my O/S "bittersweetheart" it got reviews I was totally not expecting.**

**So please review…and then feel free to check out my other stuff or possibly something in my favs. Thanks all!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and dealing with the comma and and shit, because they love me! And they love my special brand of torture *evil chuckle***

**Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**I'm sorry if the jumping around is getting confusing for everyone. How it works is the chapter always starts in "the present" time. Then we skip back in time to where the chapter left off after the xxxXXXxxx. I hope that makes sense. You're seeing what's going on now and then how they got there. But its not congruent. It is choppy and confusing and you are supposed to be somewhat confused. Because I'm a bitch like that and enjoy tormenting my readers. **

_Previously in Chapter 4:_

_Another crash sounded downstairs, along with more yelling and growling and Bella cringed. "I'm sorry for causing so many problems. I shouldn't be here. Why am I here, Peter?" Well that's the million fuckin' dollar question right there. Now, how do I give her an answer that won't have her leavin' me or wantin' me deader than one of Jasper's afternoon animal crackers? Fuck!_

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Chapter 5:

Peter's POV (always)

The Major was a sight to behold. He wasn't the quiet, seemingly shy, and silently suffering person standing in the corner observing life as it went by. That was the persona of Jasper Hale-Cullen, the carefully crafted vampire, watched like a fuckin' hawk for any signs of becoming himself. The Major was the man in the center of the room, standing tall, watching everyone carefully within range of his gift, constantly monitoring, continually calculating both his next movement and theirs. He was strong, dominating, and frankly scary as fuck. His eyes held more life and glistened with the evil in his soul. The evil he had worked for over 50 years to keep at bay, allowing him to stay in control and be a pansy ass. This creature staring at me with his blazing red eyes was no longer Jasper Hale-Cullen-Whitlock-whatever-the-fuck, he was _the_ Major, the God of War, the harbinger of death and destruction, and he didn't care who knew it.

After the day in the woods when the Major finally came out to _play_, his "family" was less than pleased. Alice threw a hissy fit because her gift didn't work on the Major; he was always just fuzzy and his decisions were never certain. He was ruled by instinct, but always weighed all his options. Of course, her biggest beef was that she lost her fuckin' Ken doll puppet.

He hunted with me now, preying on humans in the neighboring states, usually we left the state for about 24 hours to find our meals. I couldn't stay away from Bella for long, especially knowing the only other person I trusted completely was with me. The emotions of his victims were no longer a concern for him. His hunting technique had changed and he had learned he could break the neck of his victim before they even knew what hit them; their heart would still beat long enough for him to get his meal. He was happy again or maybe for the first time.

Jasper broke it off with Alice and asked for a divorce the day she told him he needed to change into "more respectable" clothing. Apparently, basketball shorts and a tank top were not respectable. He looked ready to shoot hoops and although I'm not sure he's ever played a game of basketball in his life, what the fuck did it matter what he was wearing?

That day Alice was as upset as a queen bee whose hive was attacked by a bear, and apparently I was Winnie-the-fuckin'-Poo. She blamed me for everything, which was fine, I didn't give a shit. I was glad she wasn't controlling him anymore. I was glad he wasn't the weak willed son of a bitch that he was when I arrived. Of course, we all had to deal with Major's appearance, though. He barked out orders and he ignored anyone who tried to "recommend" a certain language, behavior, meal, clothing, or thought.

Edward was particularly disturbed by his thoughts, which was evidenced by constant winces and grimaces, but he would never elaborate to anyone and Major just continually smirked at him.

Doc and his misses, well, they thought they could fuckin' guilt him and me into the squirrel diet again, but it wasn't gonna work. Major had found his balance. I knew I didn't like squirrel and Major was more than happy to tell them where to stick it and give them a road map if necessary. I chuckled freely when he offered the road map. You could say Jasper and I took over the home. Everyone else was in the background. We didn't answer to anyone and everyone answered to us.

"Ahh, the good ol' days," I chuckled from my seat on the patio watching my lovely mate swim with the family.

Major cocked an eyebrow at me at that comment and Alice and Edward both visibly shivered, apparently knowing a lot more than I thought they did, while everyone else pretended not to hear me. Rosalie and Emmett were the easiest to get along with out of everyone now. Emmett really just didn't give a fuck and Rosalie tried to follow his lead. She kept quiet a lot more than I ever knew she was capable of. Major explained that it was mainly because she was terrified of him, adding an evil chuckle at the end that would make the Devil cringe. I guess I wasn't the Devil because I just smiled in satisfaction.

"How ya doin', sweetpea?" I hollered to Bella, to make sure she heard me.

She gave me a small smile and waved. It was good to finally see her smile. That had only taken 6 weeks after we got to New Hampshire. And I hate to admit, it was Major that got that first smile from her. Ironically enough, it was the same day he broke up with the Tinkerbell wannabe.

_He came up to tell us he was through with her manipulative ways and burst through the library door, where we had been reading aloud to each other. _

"_I'd rather go around naked than wear that fuckin' Christian Dior bullshit another day!" he griped, storming angrily through the doorway. Bella instantly broke into small chuckles and the Major smiled at her sending me her mirth. I smiled, looking down at her. I didn't know exactly why that was funny to her, but I was glad that it was._

"_Bella?" Major asked, indicating he wanted an explanation for her humor at his expense. I loved her, but she had no self-preservation, laughing at Major like that. He quickly checked his basketball outfit, a motion she probably wouldn't even have caught, but I did, and that made me chuckle. He glared at me but focused back on her. _

"_I'm so…rry, M…ajor." She was still stifling giggles but took a deep breath to calm herself. "Just…I've never heard you cuss, you look funny, and well…" she blushed beautifully but didn't finish her sentence. _

"_Well?" I prodded, nudging her in the arm with my elbow, since we were sitting next to each other. _

_She shook her head furiously, not wanting to continue that train of thought. "You think I'm sexy," Major supplied with a smirk. My head whipped quickly around to look at her and breathe her in. I got a small amount of arousal, but not enough to be significant. I did, however, catch the tomato color my mate turned as well as her attempt to try and hide behind the book in her hand. I couldn't help the growl that escaped as I turned my glare back at Major. _

_I was given a set of sedating emotions so I'd shut up and a glare that said 'don't even think about it' from him while Bella continued to hide, ignoring my growl. _

Yep, that was the day she smiled and the day I began searching my gift trying to find out what I could about the involvement of Major in my life and more specifically in the life of my mate. So far, I know shit.

**xxxXXXXxxx**

"Hold it down, fuckers!" I hollered to no one in specific. They took it outside and I could still hear them arguing. Stupid fuckers, this isn't about them. I stared at Bella, my anger about the whole fuckin' situation getting the better of me.

"Peter?" Bella asked again in a meek voice.

"Yeah, well…about that, Bella. Listen, you just woke up and I don't want to overload you. How are you feeling?"

"Nuh uh, answer me, Peter. You said you won't lie. They left me and I wake up to find myself at _their_ home clear across the country, months later, with you, a strange vampire, saying you are my mate. I need some answers. I need to get home. Oh God, my dad! My mom! What about them? How long have I been here? Peter!" Yes, she had valid questions and I wanted to avoid them like Jasper avoided a blood drive on a warm summer day.

"Shit…okay, simple first. You've been here for only a few days, today is day four. I don't know a thing about your mom, everyone else is guessing you are dead." I just let that info soak in as I watched her mind turn a million miles a minute. It was nearly a cartoon moment while I waited for the little light bulb and thought bubble to come popping out of her head. She was trying to move, but movement didn't come easy to her, so I tried to help her best I could. We were both silent for a long time. I began massaging her shoulders and she moaned in pleasure at that. I knew where her bedsores were, thanks to my perfect fuckin' memory, so I avoided them. Her moans delighted me and I really wanted to hear her moan in ecstasy from the gift of my cock, but yeah, I'd deal with this for now.

I didn't know how to go on telling her I killed her pedophile sick as fuck dad, so I just didn't. I waited for her, hoping I was distracting her with my magic fingers. If I could sweat like a whore in church, I would have been doing that too, but instead I continued working on her muscles. Not that I really knew what the fuck I was doin', but she was obviously enjoying it, so I wasn't gonna stop. I rubbed down one arm and then other, just biding my time. I listened as things calmed down outside. Edward was apologizing profusely for the shit storm he created and Alice was just bawling that she "couldn't see". Jasper, well like the mother-fuckin' fairy he was, apologized to everyone for trying to make a meal outta my mate. The _Jasper_ I knew would never apologize for his instincts.

Emmett ran off to take some of his anger out on the forest. Rosalie stayed behind to lay into Edward some more for treating a woman that way. Doc and his wife were trying to "comfort Jasper" because he felt responsible for starting the whole thing in motion. No one even paid attention to the retarded nymph mumbling to herself. I felt a sense of satisfaction at that, but I was pissed that the words comfort and Jasper were in the same sentence. That he needed comforting for anything was appalling to me. I couldn't worry about that right now though. Right now I had to figure out a way to tell my mate what had happened to her and her father.

She continued to moan at my ministrations and when Emmett returned, he said, "Quit fucking my sister." I growled and Bella tensed, not knowing why I was angry. Edward explained to Emmett what was going on, which brought Emmett's attention to him. More yelling started as Emmett began chasing Edward around the yard again, calling him every name in the book. I chuckled at that and Bella relaxed under my hands.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Emmett made a rude comment and now he's trying to attack Edward again." She stiffened at my explanation and tried to scoot away from me, so I moved, as much as I hated to.

"I need to go home. I'm causing trouble here. I shouldn't be here. They didn't want me anymore and I need to leave." I growled and stepped in front of her. This self-loathing shit needs to fuckin' stop, now!

"No you don't! You _are_ wanted here. Edward made a big mistake and no one knew what he said to you. That's why they are fightin'. They're fightin' 'cause they thought he told you the truth and instead he broke you until you couldn't function anymore. Why did you do that to yourself, Bella? Why?" I was angry and I was trying not to let it show. She could have moved on; what made Edward so damn special? Oh God! Was his return the reason she woke up? Did she want him back? My mind began a spiral that I wasn't sure I could pull out of.

"I…I…had dreams of all the things I wanted to say to Edward, to the family, for leaving me. I had a future and even Alice had said she saw me as a vampire. But he took it all away. I didn't have anything to live for anymore. I tried to follow him. But I can't keep up with a vampire, and he was gone before I even took one step. I wanted to tell him to stay, to beg him to take me with him, but he said I wasn't good for him. I couldn't argue with that…There was nothing left for me in this world.

"Peter, I know you say we are mates and, honestly, I feel this need to be near you, but I don't love you. I don't know that I'll ever love again. I think I should go home. Where does my dad think I am? How did you get me from him? I should at least call him and let him know that I'm up now. I can't believe I was asleep for 7 months. I didn't even get to finish school." By this time, she was very melancholy and pretty much just talking to herself. I listened, praying silently for a way to answer the questions she had. Knowing she wanted to leave me didn't put me in the best fuckin' mood to answer those questions politely. She wanted to leave and with the information I have about dear old dad, I really wanted to hurt her with it. The need for revenge due to the current blow to my heart was starting to creep up. I was fighting an internal struggle while she babbled 'poor me' shit to herself. Fuckin' selfish bitch!

"NO!" Jasper roared as he made a bee-line into the house, searching us out. The desire for revenge was beginning to overtake my thoughts as I thought of the multitude of ways I could hurt her emotionally and physically, make her stay with me and force pain into her heart the way she just did to me. I wasn't thinking straight and I was gripping the dresser I had been leaning against so tightly it was turning to sawdust under my fingers. Jasper burst through the door with Edward hot on his heels. I swung around to protect my mate, my need to save her from them taking over my desire for revenge.

"She is Edward's mate! You don't hurt her and you leave her alone," Jasper ordered. Jasper the fuckin' the skunk sucker. That honestly hurt more than even what Bella had said to me. He didn't think she was my mate?

"What the fuck with a rubber duck, Jasper?" I couldn't keep it to myself and Edward moved towards Bella while I growled. He held his hands up but nodded towards her. She was crying and curled up in a ball on the bed. We stared at each other for a minute before my mind calmed down enough. _'You help her, but know that she is mine!'_ I thought to him. He just nodded, making his way to her.

He scooped her up and moved her to the living room where she was swarmed with Cullens eager to help her and Jasper stared me down.

"She is my mate, Jasper. Even Edward knows that," I growled, plopping down hard on the floor.

"Yeah? Because all I feel coming from you is protection and possession. No love, certainly not the loving bond of a mate." I stared at him, incredulous, and tried to make him feel my love for her, but he only shook his head. "Possessiveness, Peter." I couldn't control the roar or the fact that we went flying out of the second story window into the driveway below. Luckily, we missed landing on my truck.

Emmett came out and grabbed a hold of me while Carlisle stood between me and Jasper. I could break Emmett's hold, but I didn't want to fight. I just wanted my mate.

"Edward and the women are inside, let's go talk about this," Doc suggested and I shook Emmett off, letting him I was going willingly.

When I got inside, I picked up Bella from her odd position on the sofa and cradled her in my arms. She melted a bit but she still held some weird stiffness to her. "Are you okay?" She asked me and I could only chuckle.

"Fine, sugar, just fine."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I should have never said the things I did and I truly regret everything that has happened since I left," Edward said looking down at the floor.

"Now that Edward has been able to apologize, Bella, would you like us to move you into his room?" Mama Cullen asked. What the fuck?

"Fuck, NO! She won't be moving into his room. Are you people fuckin' nuts? She is MY mate!"

"We know you think you love her, Peter. And we are very happy you brought her home to us, but she is Edward's mate. Always has been," Doc inserted his two cents.

"No, dad. She really is his mate. She was never mine. I was infatuated with her, but he is her mate." I smiled at him. As much as I hated the fucker, he wasn't trying to steal my girl away.

"No, I saw her with Edward in the future and they were happy. I can't see now, but she was happy with him," the fuckin' fairy put her two cents in too.

"I already told you, all I feel coming from you is possessiveness. You don't love her."

"She woke up when Edward came home, not when you decided she was your new toy." Rose glared at me in disapproval. My new toy? I looked down at the woman in my arms. She had tears silently streaming down her cheeks.

"Bella, do you want to be with Edward?" I didn't want to ask the question, but it had to be asked.

"I…I…" She looked around, unsure of what to say. Her eyes finally landed on Edward and he gave her a contrite smile. She looked back to me. "I want to go home," she whispered, knowing we could all hear her, and my heart broke.

"You can't go home, darlin'," I answered, gently nudging her ear with my nose. Her only response was to cry more.

"You can't hold me prisoner here," she mumbled.

"No one is holding you prisoner. If you want to leave, we'll leave. Just me and you, but home isn't an option anymore." I held her close and crisscrossed my arms over her chest so that I could rub her arms "I think Doc needs to take a look at you first though, okay?"

She shook at the mention of Doc looking at her and I wasn't sure what that was about. "Why?" she muttered quietly.

"Because, you can't move very well, sweet pea. And you have no meat on ya bones. I just want him to make sure you're gonna be okay," I explained.

"No, why can't I go home anymore?" she asked, looking me in the eyes. She was trying to look fierce, but it just came off as scared shitless.

I sucked in a deep breath that I didn't need and looked around the room. Everyone looked ready to cry and Edward just nodded his head at what I was thinking.

"Your dad is dead, Bella."

"What? Why? When? Oh my god!"

"Bella, do you…remember anything? Anything you might even think was a dream?" Doc asked from across the room. I glared at him, but I was still glad he asked. Bella sat for a moment and it seemed she was searching through her head, so we let her. The only sound was the lush thumping of her heart and her shallow breathing. The rest of the room pretended to be museum sculptures as we waited.

"Not really. I think I remember him talking to me, but it's like listening through the ocean. I know there are words, but I can't make them out. Why? What happened? How did he die? How did you find me? Get me here?" With each question, she asked a different person, looking for someone to give her answers.

I was still holding my deep breath, so I began to speak. It had to be done. "I killed him, Bella." Her head whipped around so fast, I was sure it was gonna spin 360 degrees and the look on her face made me believe the infamous green pea soup would be next. She looked pissed and sick. "Bella, he was hurting you. He had been hurting you for months and you didn't even know it. I did it to save you, baby," I said, trying to look sad or in love. But I wasn't sad; I'd do it again in a human heartbeat.

"No, no, my dad would never hurt me. He loved me! I know he did!" She tried to scramble away from me and as much as it pained me. I helped her up so she could move away from me.

"Doc, why does she move like that? Is she okay?" I asked him as she made her way across the room, looking around, not sure where to go. It made me feel better and worse that she didn't choose Edward to sit by. Eventually, she chose to sit next to Jasper. Later, she explained she chose him because he was neutral. She was mad at Esme, Carlisle, Alice, and Edward, Rose never liked her, and Jasper was the only one she didn't know well. He gave her a funny look as she settled next to him, but he shrugged and turned back to the conversation.

"She's alright, Peter. She will need some physical therapy though. Some of her muscles have atrophied and others haven't, causing her awkward movements. Is it painful to move, Bella?"

"You want to talk about my movements after telling me my dad's dead? Okay, It's uncomfortable and takes a lot of effort but not painful, just weird," she answered to the floor. "So, Peter ate my dad and now I have to stay here? With the family that didn't want me?" She just kept looking at the floor.

"Bella, I'm sorry. It's my fault the family left. If you want me to leave so you'll be safe, I will." Jasper moved her face to look at him as he spoke.

"No, Jasper. This is your home. I forgave you the night it happened. Didn't they tell you?" She looked around at Carlisle, Edward, and Alice who all nodded solemnly.

"They did…but honestly I didn't believe them. I mean, how could you forgive me? Then you choose me to come and sit by? You are a curious creature, Bella Swan." He tried to give her a soft smile and I think it worked as her body seemed to relax just a little bit.

"What kind of person are you?" Rosalie bit out, drawing everyone's attention to her. "You're not even crying for the death of your father. You aren't asking more questions. Peter killed him and you just accept that? While you forgive Jasper for trying to kill you? You're a freak, Bella Swan!"

I shot across the room after the fuckin' bitch, just to run into Emmett. "I'll take care of it," he growled grabbing her like a caveman and throwing her over his shoulder. He shot out of the house while she yelled at him to put her down the whole way. Bella had broken down and was crying on Jasper's shoulder while he looked very uncomfortable, so I went and scooped her up and sat back down with her. When she realized I had her, she became hysterical and started to beat on me, screaming at the top of her lungs that I was a murderer. She was right but I held her hands so she wouldn't hurt herself, because honestly her hitting me felt like fuckin' powder puffs fluffing my chest.

Edward came over and I felt Jasper's calm make its way across the room. She was inconsolable though, and nothing anyone said seemed to matter. Doc said she had to get it out. She cried and thrashed and called me names and Edward names and yelled at everyone and no one. Her heartbreak was evident even if the bastard deserved everything I did to him; I didn't enjoy seeing her in pain. Emmett and Rosalie didn't come back that night. When she had tired herself out and we realized Jasper's gift was having little to no effect on her, she finally started asking more questions.

I did my best to answer them. I told her the truth about what her father had done to her, what Rose had seen and what we had walked in on. After another outburst where she cried and cussed and denied the whole thing, she asked if she could shower because _now_ apparently she felt violated. She returned slightly refreshed but obviously worse for the wear and asked about her father's death. Again, I held nothing back and the family cringed and looked at me in horror as I told her what I had done to him, sparing no detail. She cried again. She tried beating on me again for not giving her father a peaceful death, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize or be sorry. As I said before, I'd do it again.

Bella tired herself for the last time that night through her fits of tears and anger and showered again. She fell asleep on the bed, asking to not be disturbed, so I sat on the floor across from her bed. The rest of the family finally began talking amongst themselves and it all centered around how cruel I was, how disgusting I was, how I was trying to take Edward's mate from him. That last one is the one that pissed me off the most, but honestly, as long as Edward was arguing with them, he didn't need me. I don't know why they were so certain she was Edward's mate, when Edward himself was saying she wasn't. Jasper's "feelings" and Alice's visions were apparently what sealed the deal for them. Of course I was protective and possessive of my mate. I hadn't claimed her yet, she hadn't acknowledged me, and I found her being violated by her father. Yeah, that made me a possessive fucker.

Bella began mumbling in her sleep "...leave…go…no…no…help…stay…" As her mumblings got louder, I wasn't sure what to do until she began screeching like someone was killing her. I took her in my arms and calmly spoke to her while the rest of the family burst into her room.

"Why did you let her get that bad?" Edward asked.

I glared at him and answered in my head _'I was trying to respect her fuckin' wishes to not be disturbed, asshole.'_ He just nodded at me and continued mumbling sweet nothings into her ear. She calmed down and returned to a peaceful sleep. "A little help here, Jazz?" I asked looking at my best-friend and brother. I hated to admit I needed him, but his gift was particularly helpful for this kind of shit.

"She's terrified and heartbroken," he responded. Everyone looked at Edward, who grimaced and mumbled a 'sorry'. "I don't seem to have an effect on her emotions though. Sorry, man," he replied, looking at me; I just nodded.

"Is she gonna be okay, Doc?" I asked, wanting reassurance but not really sure what I was asking.

He nodded his head, but his words made me want to spit nails. "She'll be fine. As soon as she has forgiven Edward and takes him back. I'm sure things will get back to normal." He was fuckin' lucky I had a human I cared about in my arms, but Edward grimaced and pulled him out of the room, tossing me an apologetic glance as he began to explain yet again that Bella wasn't _his_ mate. I curled up with my woman and hoped to hell she woke up again. I was going to worry about that for a while. Worry that she'll go back to her catatonic state and why shouldn't I? She just fuckin' woke up and I tell her her dad is dead, he was molesting her, and I killed him, brutally. Fuck, I wouldn't want to wake up after that shit storm either. I held her close and did something I hadn't done _ever._ I prayed.

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A/N: Ok there have been many questions as to, is this going to be a J/B/P story, even from my beautiful betas LOL. The answer is…it was never my intention. However, I've decided to be democratic about it and put it to a vote. So after you review, go to my profile and answer the poll at the top of the page. **** I'll leave it open for a couple of chapters and see what we come up with.**

**Well there is supposed to be a poll but its not showing up...so I guess if there is no poll just go ahead and leave your opinion on your review :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and using pretty colors like- blue, yellow, and purple to do it. Cuz they're cool bitches! Love you guys!**

**Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Okay, here is my quick apology that y'all didn't get a chapter last weekend. I hit some writers block and I can say you aren't getting a chapter this weekend because I'm busy this weekend. So maybe another midweek chapter next week…not sure and no promises. Just enjoy!**

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Previously in Chapter 5:_

_He nodded his head, but his words made me want to spit nails. "She'll be fine. As soon as she has forgiven Edward and takes him back. I'm sure things will get back to normal." He was fuckin' lucky I had a human I cared about in my arms, but Edward grimaced and pulled him out of the room, tossing me an apologetic glance as he began to explain yet again that Bella wasn't his mate. I curled up with my woman and hoped to hell she woke up again. I was going to worry about that for a while. Worry that she'll go back to her catatonic state and why shouldn't I? She just fuckin' woke up and I tell her her dad is dead, he was molesting her, and I killed him, brutally. Fuck, I wouldn't want to wake up after that shit storm either. I held her close and did something I hadn't done ever. I prayed._

Chapter 6:

Peter's POV (always)

I've asked Bella out on an official date. It's been seven weeks since we got to New Hampshire and I feel like she's had enough time to deal with everything. I really just want to make her fuckin' mine, already! But I'm taking it slow. After all, she knows she needs me and she can't stand to be away from me, but the love is developing slowly. Being mated doesn't mean automatic love; it just means you've found someone that you will spend the rest of your life with, whether as friends, family, or lovers. And I certainly didn't want the friend type. A mate is someone to spend an eternity with and I'll be damned if I wanted just a friend for eternity; that's what I had Major for.

Bella and I have become good friends and we are touching every minute we can, only just friendly touches, not those of a lover. Well, maybe they are somewhere in between. After all, friends surely don't touch as much as we do. She always prefers to sit in my lap when she can and she won't sleep without me now. Life isn't great but it's getting better.

Bella is looking much healthier now. She's gained a bit of weight, not much, but enough that she looks less like a fuckin' corpse now. She has a little bit of color, although I guess she was always fair skinned, and her hair is a beautiful shiny chestnut. She still worries a bit about her weight and watches what she eats. We've slowly replaced her clothing with shit that fits, but she could use a few more pounds. I'm not dumb enough to tell any female that though.

Alice offered to help her get ready for our date and I couldn't wait to see what they come up with. Bella was reluctant and did her best to politely tell Alice that she was "helping" not "conducting", whatever the fuck that meant. Since we are talking about the controlling bitch from eight ball land, it probably means that she's _forced_ shit on Bella before that she didn't want. And that idea just made me wanna dismember her slowly and then put her limbs on backwards with lots of my own venom to make it hurt more. What can I say? I'm a sadistic son of a bitch.

Rosalie isn't a part of their little girl group. Apparently, when we arrived back to the house from Forks, she was met with anger because her _family_ was less than pleased with her _unapproved _her trip to Forks. I guess the fact that she saved Bella is lost on them. These people have to be some of the stupidest fuckin' vampires to ever live in death. I swear, a dog walkin' around with a pocket full of change makes more sense than these assholes.

Emmett is trying to get close to Bella, but she has pretty much shut them all out. She talks to them but not about anything meaningful. She'll do things with them- watch movies, swim, go shopping, and what not, but she doesn't get personal; in fact, most of the time she stays silent. Doc and his missus try daily to be polite, offer to make her meals, buy her things, and help her with anything. They even offered to help get her enrolled in school if she wanted to finish high school. It isn't working though; she doesn't want anything from them. Any requests she made were solely to Major or me and those were for minimal necessitates at best.

Major. He honestly worries me. It's like my gift doesn't work on Major either, and I just don't understand because it always did before. But I just can't determine what the fuck is goin' on between him and my mate. I'm worried, like a little kid with cotton candy starin' down a fat man who skipped lunch. He's my brother, but I feel like he's steppin' over the fuckin' line with my girl. I don't want him touchin' her let alone helping her sleep and there are still nights where he now joins _us_ in bed to help her. Of course, it's all real fuckin' innocent and shit and he's the only person she talks to other than me, but I don't fuckin' like it.

After what happened to her, I don't want anyone around her. I've learned I can't go out with her and the whole family. We draw too much attention and I don't like other people lookin' at her. If I could put her in a glass bottle and save her forever I would. I want to change her. That would at least keep her safer, but I won't do it against her will. I growl if someone tells her what to do, if someone looks at her funny, or if someone even begins to push for anything. Never anything against her will. Nothing, ever again.

Maybe I'm an over-protective prick, but I don't fuckin' care. I'm still upset that she takes things into her own hands daily, sometimes multiple times a day. I've tried to talk to her about it, fuck, I even offered to help. That was one of those bad days, the ones where she broke down crying hysterically and I couldn't deal with it so I ran off for a few hours, destroyed a house and the people in it, and left Major to deal with her.

When I returned from my rampage that day, she was sleeping in his arms. He apparently had to knock her out to keep her settled and the way he was holding her set me off again. I growled and threatened him and he sat there smirking at me like a smug son of a bitch because yep, he's the Major and I can't win. Didn't mean I couldn't get pissed. Didn't mean he couldn't have at least put a fuckin' shirt on either.

That was the other thing the Major did in front of my mate that I wasn't particularly happy about. He was always wearing tight shirts or none at all. The family were of course reminded of the scars that he had previously kept covered and it served to intimidate the fuck out of them even more, but it turned my little one on and I wasn't too fuckin' happy with that. I wasn't as proud of my scars as Major was. I knew I was a sexy fucker, but I just didn't show off like that. I have a nice body, of course I'm a fuckin' vampire, and I have fewer scars than Major, but fuck if I wanna see 'em let alone show 'em off.

So the day I returned home from my rampage to see Bella curled against his shirtless body, in nothin' but a t-shirt and shorts on her tight little body, I was pissed. I knew that when I had tried to talk to her she was still in a robe with a towel on her head. She was naked underneath the robe, I'm sure. She had just got done pleasuring herself and well, I could have waited until she was at least dressed, but I didn't. I'm not even sure why she freaked out. She just started screaming and bawling and if I didn't know better I'd think she was dying. I couldn't calm her and when Major sauntered in offering to help, cool as a cucumber in January, I couldn't deal anymore and left. I hated that he could help her when I couldn't. I fuckin' suck as a mate.

Four weeks. We had known each other four weeks when that happened, barely a fuckin' month since I found my mate and she's sleeping in the arms of another. Fuckin' sack of shit. I dunno anymore if it's Major or me.

"Fuck!" I called out, listening to yet another session of Bella in the shower before she got ready for our date.

"Just relax Peter; she needs to do this for herself. Besides, orgasms release endorphins that help to make people happier." Doc was trying to be reasonable and rational, but I wasn't having it.

"Yeah, that's what her dad thought, every single fuckin' time he molested her," I growled out and left to go outside and clear my head for a minute. I couldn't let this ruin our date. I wouldn't. I had purchased theater tickets and gotten a room at a little bed and breakfast, hoping that would lead to some sort of romance. I wanted her sweet little skinny blood pumpin' ass, but as far as I could tell she didn't want me in _that_ way.

I wasn't keeping my hopes up for sex, but a little touching and kissing would be nice. The most she ever got as far as kisses was the ones Major would press to the top of her head at various times without any inhibition. And me, well to be honest, I was too chicken shit. She never complained about his kisses, but I was worried she'd complain about mine, and I couldn't handle that rejection. I have kissed her face and hands, but only while she slept. She never knew about them.

I wasn't proud of how I treated her or how I thought about her. If I was going to be honest I loved her, but my main concern at the moment was her safety. Major has quit telling everyone that she's Edward's mate and Edward thought maybe it would help if he took a vacation for a couple weeks. I'm not sure if it helped or not, but I quit hearing about his ass, so that helped ease my mind a bit.

**xxxXXXXxxx**

My prayers were answered, she woke up. She didn't talk to anyone that day and she barely ate, but the thing that disturbed everyone the most, especially me, were the five showers she took that day. No, we weren't upset because she wanted a shower; we were upset because she was masturbating in the shower. I think she thought we wouldn't be able to hear, but she wasn't as quiet as she needed to be and Jasper felt it every time. I was upset because I didn't think my woman should have to take matters into her own fuckin' hands. Everyone else was upset because it seemed she literally was addicted to fuckin' orgasms, quiet though they may be.

She didn't talk to anyone the next day either, but I kept vigil by her side, well in her room, and she never sent me away. She didn't talk to me when I attempted even a casual fuckin' conversation and I can't say she even fuckin' gave me the time of day with so much as a look, but she knew obviously knew I was there, sitting on her floor watching her. She cried in the evenings, mostly for the loss of her father and I tried to hold her, but she'd just beat on me until eventually I'd pull away because she was bruising her delicate little arms and hands. I felt like shit, but I wouldn't apologize for murdering that sack of shit. Fuck, he probably deserved more than he got. I don't know that she was acknowledging anything about what had happened to her though, the reason for his death. She was grieving and I tried to understand that. However, I think I shoulda tortured the asshole for days, not hours, but I just didn't have that kinda time; Bella and Rosalie needed me then.

Rosalie. She was one I just didn't get. We got along so much better when it was just her and I and the comatose Bella. I just don't know what happened. We'd only been here a week and she was nothing but a bitch to everyone, and everyone was basically mean back. Emmett was caught in the middle, putting out a lot of fires between his mate and his family. I preferred to just watch the fuckery from the sidelines and deal with my own issues.

I'm still mad at Bella. Why shouldn't I be? She went all Rip Van Winkle or some shit on her father, he abused her in her indolent state, and I killed the fucker and now she's mad at me? This is all her fuckin' fault. If she could have just been a bit stronger and not let Edward's leaving kill her so much, none of this shit would have ever fuckin' happened. Her father would still be alive, she would have graduated high school, and I wouldn't have had to kill one of the most important people in her life.

The stupid bitch really doesn't get what I'm going through, she doesn't understand that I did it all for her. I did it to protect her when she couldn't protect herself. But it shouldn't have happened. Yes, Edward was an ass and he dumped her on her derrière, but it isn't his fuckin' fault she fell apart.

I don't really even want to believe that I am mated to someone so weak minded. Someone who just shut down because she got fuckin' dumped. So what.

Charlotte dumped my ass for some other stupid European mother fucker and I didn't go all hermit crab. Sure, I got upset, pissed even, but I didn't quit living. I didn't walk into a bonfire and I didn't lock myself up in a room and never leave. I kept on going, like the rest of the fuckin' world. People get dumped every goddamned day and they make it just fine. So why the fuck did Edward dumping her create this fuckin' disaster that I _had_ to become a part of?

"Sweetpea, how you feelin' today?" I asked Bella.

She didn't answer right away staring over at Jasper. "I guess, okay. I'm sore from the physical therapy Carlisle and I started today." She paused. "I want to talk to Jasper," she whispered, knowing we'd all hear her, but she sounded nervous or worried or something. That caught us all by surprise and I looked over at Jasper who met my eyes and shrugged.

"What do you want, Bella?" he asked from his perch at the kitchen bar. Bella and I were seated about a foot apart on the love seat. Not touching, but close enough for me, for now. She obviously didn't trust me, didn't know me, so I didn't get too close.

"Can we go talk, somewhere private?" she finally asked, looking around as everyone stared at her like she was a fuckin' bearded lady at a circus attraction

Jasper looked to me for approval and I just didn't know what to say so I gave a small nod. It didn't go unnoticed and Bella glared at me. "I don't need permission, Jasper. Let's talk." She got up unsteadily and I offered her a hand that she ignored. Jasper shot me a dose of his silent apology and walked up to Bella, offering his arm to help her. That she took. I growled lowly and Jasper ignored me, while I don't think Bella was able to hear me.

He escorted her out back. "Do you want to stay here or do you want to go into the woods?" I heard him ask and I silently hoped she agreed to stay close to the house. It was gonna be difficult if they took off. I knew she wasn't _normal_ and Jasper takin' off with my fuckin' mate who was, for lack of a better word, injured, that shit just didn't sit well with me.

"Well, I do want to talk privately, Jasper. Do you mind carrying me into the woods, out of earshot?" she asked timidly.

"Sure darlin'," he responded. "Sorry, man," he whispered to me as I heard him pick her up and take off.

I wanted to follow them, I really did. I didn't know what the fuck that was about. From what I understood, they didn't know each other real well. Alice flitted in like a kid on roller skates and stated that they would be fine. I glared at her, knowing she couldn't fuckin' see Bella.

"Shut the fuck up, you wish-I-knew-it-all hack. You already said you can't see Bella. You don't know shit," I grumbled.

"Peter! We're grateful to you for returning our daughter to us, but watch your language. If Alice says it will be fine…it will be." Mama Cullen was tryin' to assert her authority where it didn't fuckin' belong.

"I'm not one of your 15 year old brats, Esme. Don't tell me what to do. I didn't bring Bella here to be _your daughter_; I brought her here for medical treatment. She's my mate and I have every right to worry about her being off with another male. Of course, Jasper is the only one I will allow that with at all, but that doesn't matter. Alice has no reason to stick her stubby nose in my business, especially since we all know SHE CAN'T SEE WHAT'S GOING ON!" I was agitated and yelling by the time I was done, but I didn't care. She wasn't my momma.

"I can see Jasper. I can't see Bella. They'll sit on a log, talk, and come home. No biggy. She just wants to talk to Jasper about her birthday," she said, just like a know-it-all you wanna chase around shooting with a bb gun for sport.

"And I'm sure that's why she wanted it to be private, _Alice_," I sneered. I turned around and went upstairs. I can't deal with this fuckin' nosy ass family. They're so busy stickin' their noses where they don't belong; they might be related to a fuckin' brown-nosed Pinocchio for all I know. Their noses certainly extend well beyond what they should and up everybody else's ass.

"Alice, that wasn't very nice, you should respect Bella's privacy better," Esme admonished, long after I had left the room. I shook my head. She's mothering a 60+ year old vampire. These people are freaks trying to maintain a family system that doesn't fuckin' exist.

When they returned from their "talk" Jasper then asked to speak with me privately and Bella just gave me a sad look as I walked out the door with Jasper, my blood red eyes boring into hers, questioning silently what this was all about.

"Listen man, she's really upset. I know that goes without saying, but we had a good heart to heart. I'm not sure why she chose me to open up to," he paused, gauging my emotions probably. "She apologized to me for putting me in the situation that caused me to attack her at her birthday. Of course, I didn't accept that apology and I apologized myself. She didn't really want to accept my apology either. But that's not why I brought you out here."

I listened, not saying anything, wondering why in the hell he did bring me out here.

"Peter, well shit man, she doesn't believe what happened. She thinks it's all a lie to keep her here against her will. She's pretty upset." And there it was. She didn't believe any of us. Not that I could blame her, but really, I thought Jasper was going to tell me she didn't want me around because I killed her dad.

"Does she believe her dad is dead?" I asked.

"She's not sure what to believe. I told her we could research it on the internet and she could see for herself the articles about how both of them are missing and she's presumed dead. She asked me to help her with that after I talked to you. She wants you to know that she feels a certain pull to you and it makes her feel better to have you around, but she doesn't trust herself and frankly, she has no self-esteem. She just has an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness. The grief she had been feeling has subsided for now because she's decided that she doesn't believe our story."

He stopped talking. Isn't there more? Shouldn't he have something else to say? I felt like there should have been more. I just stared at him, confused and worried.

"And?" I finally asked after a few minutes of tense silence. I felt like I was waiting for a flaming meteor to drop out of the sky and land on me. I was missing something, I didn't understand something. I just didn't know what it was.

"And what? She wanted me to tell youthat you make her feel better when you are around, but she doesn't trust herself to feel anything more for you. Edward really did a number on her, man. But I'm sure he'll make it right and they'll be happy again," he said, looking at me innocently.

"What the fuck, asshole?" I yelled at him.

He was taken aback at my sudden anger. Like I hadn't been claiming this whole fuckin' time to be Bella's mate. Now he throws this shit out there? He's my fuckin' brother!

"What?" he asked, looking at me like I kicked his fuckin' puppy. In honesty, if he had a fuckin puppy, I would kick it. Nah, strike that, he'd eat it first; fuckin' puppy sucker.

"What? She's my fuckin' mate, asshole! That's what! She's not getting back together with Edward! He doesn't want her! I DO!" I yelled at him, feeling the calm he sent my way although I didn't want to accept it. I wanted to be mad. How could he say that shit?

"Listen, I know you think you are her mate, but Alice has seen it and she's meant to be with Edward. She's his mate and she just needs some time to get over this setback. Don't worry, you'll see. All you feel for her is a need to protect her and possessiveness. There's no love there, man. I know." He wasn't trying to be mean or sarcastic, but I just wanted to rip his nuts off and feed them to Bambi, fuckin' circle of life.

"Get the fuck away from me, now, asshole! I don't think I can handle being around anyone. I'm going to go get something to drink and I'll be back later. Oh, tell Bella…if you can…I'll be back and I'll always be there for her. And tell your fuckin' _wife_ that she needs to keep her nose out of my shit! And you'd do well to do the same." I took off into the forest with a roar and fell a few trees before finding a town about an hour away.

I didn't know the name of the town and I didn't care. I looked around for my next meal and found a little brunette walking with some big boxes; she smelled good enough. I offered to help her with the boxes and she kindly accepted. My eyes were black with thirst and I swallowed the venom until we were at her apartment. I followed her inside and she told me to put the boxes down on the table. I set them down and was in front of her the next second. She gasped with fear at my speed and closeness.

I didn't say anything as I reached out and grabbed her upper arms. I made a mistake though; I looked into her eyes. They were so similar to the deep chocolate of Bella's. For a brief second it was Bella I was holding, nearly breaking her arms, and I couldn't do it. I told her to be safe and ran at a human pace out the door. I've never turned down a meal! But, I've also never thought my meal was my mate. I growled and ran down an alley. I sat down on the dirty ground against the wall and just sat there.

I was pissed that they all thought Bella was Edward's. I was pissed that Bella didn't want to be with me. I was pissed that I just gave up a meal because I thought for a second it was Bella. And most importantly, now my fuckin' throat was on fire! I stayed until it was dark and no one approached or said anything to me. When the street lights came on, I decided it was time to find another meal and get home. Even if she didn't miss me, I missed Bella. '_I will always return to her,'_ I thought, and with that I ran off into the dark in search of a man to quench my thirst.

**

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AN: Okay the PBJ story is in the lead at 74%... now let me just say this. Thank you to all who have given their opinions in their review because it helps to know why you do or don't want the poly story. I will reiterate that I never promised to write the poly even if it wins the poll, my original intention with this story was just P/B. So keep voting and I'll keep weighing my options and listening to your arguments. I've heard many good ones against the poly, I haven't heard many good arguments for the poly. *hint hint* LOL. I know all you poly people just want sex. *giggles* In the end we're having fun and I hope no matter what I decide to do, y'all love the story anyhow. **

**Thanks for the reviews, votes, opinions, and love! Keep it coming…I'm trying to make an informed decision here. I can see the story going both ways…*ponders & points to review button***


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and trying to keep my tenses aligned LOL. It takes them both! Also as ForksPixie pointed out this story is written in the style akin to Pulp Fiction, so suck on that *giggles***

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Again sorry about the delay. I got derailed and I can't find the fuckin' track though technically I only live a block from it LOL. **

_Previously in Chapter 6:_

_I was pissed that they all thought Bella was Edward's. I was pissed that Bella didn't want to be with me. I was pissed that I just gave up a meal because I thought for a second it was Bella. And most importantly, now my fuckin' throat was on fire! I stayed until it was dark and no one approached or said anything to me. When the street lights came on, I decided it was time to find another meal and get home. Even if she didn't miss me, I missed Bella. _'I will always return to her,'_ I thought, and with that I ran off into the dark in search of a man to quench my thirst. _

* * *

Chapter 7:

Peter's POV (always)

We approached the Lost Nation Theater in Montpelier, Vermont and I could see a small smile playing at Bella's lips when she saw we that were going to see 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' listed on the marquee. I hadn't told her what we were seeing, because I wanted it to be a surprise. She asked a few times, but she wasn't a real nuisance.

"Is this okay, doll?" I asked with a smirk, knowing it was.

"Yes, thank you, Peter." She turned and looked at me with a smile. It wasn't beaming but it was acceptable. I made her smile and that made me happy.

I pulled up front and ran around to help her out of the truck despite her protests that she could walk. I knew she could walk. She's pretty much back to normal, at least I thought she was. She said she was. Doc said she needed to continue to build her muscles a bit more and that it would go faster if she would eat more. She looked healthier and that's all I cared about. It's been a little over 3 months and she wasn't quite as cranky or elusive as she had been in the past, at least not with me, with the Cullens however, she was still onboard 'Steamboat Avoidance'.

As for her mental status…well, she pretty much seemed to have almost daily therapy sessions with Major. It basically involved her talking about her feelings and him telling her when her words contradicted her feelings. He was a walkin' lie detector and everyone knew it, because around him, you just didn't fuckin' lie. He'll call you out on it every time; like Wonder Woman using her golden lasso, but without the lasso or the tits. Bella needed a lie detector and that's how the whole "counseling" thing with Major got started.

One day Bella was talking with Esme, and in just general human conversation, Esme asked how Bella was feeling and she replied 'fine'. Major was in front of her in a nanosecond and called her out on the 'fine' bullshit, stating that she was far from fine and feeling worthless, lonely, lost, confused, and a fuck ton of other bullshit. Bella just stared at him. He smirked back. He was making her face her feelings, so to speak. After that, whenever they talked, he asked her about her feelings and why they were what they were. Major had somehow appointed himself as her therapist. I was glad she was getting it out. But, while she was getting it out, I was holding it in. No matter. I'd deal with it later.

I escorted Bella to our seats and watched as her hips swayed under the beautiful black dress she was wearing. I guess she borrowed it from Rosalie. Even though they weren't really friends, Rosalie meant what she said about taking care of Bella forever and she planned to keep to her word. Bella doesn't know about the change in Rosalie, she just knew she was being a bit nicer recently. But due to Rosalie's fear of Major and her rather cool reception since we arrived, she wasn't too open to being sociable either. This was just one fucked up family.

You know how they say you are what you eat? Well they're mammals, can walk on two legs, cold, white, vicious, and gobble up their young just like fuckin' fluffy polar bears. Only difference was they choose to stay together to make it easier to attack each other. Stupid ass mother fuckers! Wouldn't it stand to reason then, that I eat humans, therefore I'm more fuckin' human than they are? Yeah, I thought so.

Bella situated herself in the seat and I went to get her a bottle of water. The hardest thing was keeping her hydrated these days.

I returned to the beautiful young woman who now sat next to a much larger woman in an ugly pink dress with frizzy hair. I paused for a minute taking in the scene. On Bella's other side was an empty seat with her long tan coat draped over the back, obviously reserving it for me. She faced forward unaware of my approach and her hair hung in large loose ringlets around her face and shoulders. She had her legs crossed and her hands resting idly in her lap on top of the program. Her skin and hair seemed to glow in the soft yellow lights from high up in the theater ceiling. And her black dress hugged her in all the right places. She was stunning, an angel.

Call me sentimental, but if I could have wrapped that moment up and put it in my pocket I would have. She looked lonely and solemn, but I think that was just me. She studied the stage, the orchestra, the back of people's heads, everything in front of her. She avoided the woman next to her by staying still as a vampire and her rhythmic heartbeat was enough to lull me to sleep just standing there. I smiled content knowing that I would be the one filling the seat next her as I squeezed past the small man and then the large woman before I made it in front of Bella who was now smiling up at me. I smiled in return and handed her the bottle as I took the seat next to her moving her coat to my lap. It's not like I was going to get hot after all.

"Thank you," she said quietly as she twisted the cap off the horrendously expensive bottle of water. It's not like I cared, but come on, $3 for a bottle of water? I've bought Bella cases for just a buck more than that. This shit better make her piss gold or something. I smirked at my own thoughts and Bella gave me a questioning look but didn't ask. I leaned over and put my arm around her, needing that contact. I was happy that she sighed and snuggled against me, despite the hard armrest between us.

"You're welcome, doll. Anything for you, you know that. Even if it's just a bottle of fuckin' gold."

"Huh?" she asked, eying the bottle.

I laughed. "I was just thinkin' that bottle was so expensive you better be pissin' gold," I said lightheartedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Peter. You didn't have to buy me such an expensive water, I would have been fine."

I grabbed her chin gently to shut her up. "Sweetpea, it didn't break my fuckin' bank. I got more money than God. I just think they're rapin' us with…" FUCK! I stopped my fuckin' mouth as quick as humanly possible because obviously I wasn't quick enough for a fuckin' vampire.

My eyes were wide as I looked into hers. The uncertainty and sadness began to take over her features and I had just ruined the whole fuckin' night.

"Oh God, Bella! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. My fuckin' mouth. Fuck. Shit. Damn!" I started to get up and she just stayed there looking at me. I shoved her coat at her and she looked back at the stage.

"I want to stay," she whispered, so low only I could hear her.

I looked around for a moment and people were obviously staring at us, for various reasons I'm sure. I needed to move, get away; get out of there. I couldn't leave her. I looked down and took in the way she was staring at me with glassy eyes. As her unshed tears caressed the molten chocolate in her eyes, I knew I wasn't leaving her.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I asked her. She just nodded her head and I saw her throat try to push the lump down that had settled there during my inane ranting.

I humanly ran outside and went to the truck. I didn't know what I was doing, but I couldn't leave. Fresh air didn't affect me like it did humans, but I really think I needed fresh air. I leaned against the truck and took some deep breaths. It was oddly calming. I really needed a quick bite to eat, but it wasn't the time or place, so I made due with the inferno that tickled my tonsils.

I returned seven minutes later and she looked relieved when she saw me walk in. She had been slumped over and certainly not the perfect beauty I saw in that seat only moments ago. She looked defeated, dejected, and sad, I dunno, she didn't look like she was a girl on her first date with a guy having fun, that's for fuckin' sure. Me and my fuckin' mouth!

I settled into the seat next to her and the fat lady gave a worried glance between me and Bella before settling on me, sizing me up. I glanced at her and she could fuckin' stare all she wanted, I needed to work on my relationship with my woman. I took Bella's hand gently and looked into her eyes trying to communicate, through touch and sight, exactly how sorry I was. I squeezed her hand gently and she returned the squeeze with a small, well I wouldn't call it a fuckin' smile, but she didn't look so defeated anymore. I wrapped my arm around her and hugged her awkwardly with the chair arm between us.

"I'm sorry, doll. I won't fuck up again. I want you to have fun tonight," I whispered softly into her ear. She slightly nodded her head in agreement or understanding, I wasn't sure which.

Perfect timing, the lights dimmed and the music started. I held her closely through the entire first act and she never fidgeted or complained about the armrest in her side. I knew it isn't right, but I started to get mad at her. I couldn't be myself. I had to tiptoe around certain subjects like rape but she went for over two months not believing Charlie did what he did.

It was Rose that finally convinced her which it didn't earn her any more favors with the family that was already upset with her. I'm sure there was more to that story that I didn't understand. After all, they were all pissed at Rose for going to check on Bella, but she saved Bella. There had to be something else, right? I dunno. Fuckin' veggie vamps are fuck ups. Maybe I should try a fuckin' squirrel or something with a fluffy tail; I'm becoming just as much of a fuck up as the rest of them. The only one who wasn't in this fuckin' family was Major. He's too fuckin' scary to be a fuck up.

During the intermission, I got Bella another bottle of water while she went to the restroom. I waited outside for her as another guy, waiting for his girl, decided to try to talk to me.

"Boring play, huh? I just do this so it's a guaranteed lay tonight. How about you? Planning on fuckin' your woman as payback for having to sit through this shit?" he asked with a nudge into my side with his elbow.

I couldn't even think. The world went black again and yet I somehow knew what I was doing at that moment. I was managing to control my strength enough to pummel this guy in front of the women's bathroom. People were gathered around and trying to pull me off of him. He smelled divine as blood streamed from his nose and mouth. Women were screaming, men were yelling, and I kept pushing everyone away, growling lowly. I was on top of him and just barely hitting him by my standards, but I could occasionally hear a bone crunch or tooth break. Suddenly, there was a small hand on my neck. I had landed about 14 lazy punches on the guy and the small hand stopped it all mid-swing.

I turned and looked at her and at the men standing behind her. Shit! They were dressed in the signature blue uniforms and looked pretty disheveled. They were the ones I had been pushing off of me. Fuck. My. Life!

I looked down at the bloodied man. His girlfriend who had come to his aid, dabbing the blood off his face, while paramedics were moving through the door with a gurney.

I sat in the back of the police cruiser and watched as they took statements. I went willingly, after all they had already tried to restrain me once; I just royally fucked up. Bella had tears in her eyes as she talked with the cops and showed them her Gabriella Dove ID, telling them that she had recently been attacked and I had been on edge because of it and we had had an argument just before the play. It was a lie to an extent, but the fact that she was lying for me made me feel even worse, mainly because I knew it would make her feel bad, too. Fuck, this was not the date I was supposed to have.

I asked the officers when they got in the car if they could give my truck keys to Bella so she could drive herself. They agreed and dug the keys out of the baggie that contained everything that was in my pocket and one of them went to Bella with the keys.

She thanked the officer and watched as the ambulance drove out of sight with the asshole whom I had just turned into beef tenderloin. She sighed heavily and walked towards the parking lot, punching the panic button to try to find the truck quickly. I heard it beep as the officer started the car and put it into gear.

I doubted I'd get any good points for making this a memorable fuckin' first date. Major was not gonna be happy. It was so hard sitting there in handcuffs and a fuckin' tin can that I could easily turn into scrap metal, but I'd outted myself enough for one fuckin' day. I couldn't even claim drunken brawl since we were at a play and I hadn't been seen drinking.

**xxxxXXXXxxxx**

When I returned from my hunt, I found that Bella wasn't home. She had gone shopping, with Emmett of all people. That was a new one and I didn't think I needed to be concerned, but she was shining up to all the fuckin' men in this "family" and none of the women. She detested Esme and Rose and she was so hurt by Alice that she really didn't want to talk to her, let alone, spend "quality time" together.

It was dark. I couldn't imagine they'd be gone long, she'd need to sleep soon and the stores would all close. I showered and then found Jasper in his library. "Is she okay?" I asked. He'd know exactly what I meant.

"Yeah, we researched the info online that they had been posting. She is really confused, appalled, sad, and she feels horribly guilty." He turned to look at me, letting me know he was being serious and not going to argue. I let the words sink in for a moment.

"Guilty?" I asked.

"You really should just talk to her, man." That was his way of telling me he didn't want to talk about it. I didn't give a shit.

"What the fuck does she have to be guilty about? She was the one that was molested. How is that her fuckin' fault?" I yelled.

He held his hands up for me to calm down. I nodded waiting for an answer, knowing exactly how hypocritical I was being because I was just blaming her not long ago. But they didn't need to know that.

"She's guilty… shit man, she feels guilty her dad is dead, that he did that to her. She has blamed herself for the whole thing." He swiped a big palm down the front of his face as if he could wipe off the scowl that came with telling me about my mate.

"It's not her fault!" I nearly roared, and the Budinsky family showed up.

"Everything okay, Jasper?" Carlisle asked, eyeing me doubtfully as he stood just inside the door with Edward behind him. The women were lined up behind him, in the hallway, like they were waiting to get a peek at my huge dick from around Carlisle and Edward who wanted the first fuckin' look. Assholes. I just raised an eyebrow and really considered whipping it out. Edward shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. I chuckled.

Carlisle looked between us for a moment and then regarded Jasper again, who finally just nodded his head. It seemed they really thought I was a loose fuckin' cannon in this house. What did they think I was going to do exactly? Kill all the humans in the house? Wait, the _only_ human that lived here wasn't home, so it wasn't that. Maybe I'll just leap out the window and go on a killing rampage in town? Probably. And though that sounds like a great fuckin' idea, not to mention a really juicy and delicious idea, it wasn't on my agenda, as I had just eaten. Weren't people allowed to get angry around here? Or was it just me that couldn't get angry?

I smirked at Carlisle as I reached down and unzipped my pants. Edward grabbed him and pushed everyone out the door shutting it behind him and leaving Jasper and I to ourselves. I laughed as I watched the scene unfold and overheard Carlisle asking Edward, "What was that all about?"

Jasper looked at me and rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what I was thinkin'.

Jasper, at my request, showed me everything he had showed Bella, and then we sat quietly playing a game of chess. Mr. Strategist took about 20 minutes per move, where I took 1-2 minutes. I was going to lose, that was a given. He was just keeping me entertained until Bella got back. At the end of our second game I finally heard Emmett's jeep coming up the driveway and I tried to slowly make my way downstairs to the porch to wait for them to park.

Bella hopped out, smiling, as she carried a giant wooden Santa. It was nearly as long as her torso and she was hugging it to her body. It was painted and dressed in a fake felt suit, complete with feathers and faux leather boots. What the fuck? It was July.

Emmett got out and then fished a couple of bags out of the back seat, along with a smaller stuffed panda bear. He switched the panda for the Santa in Bella's arms and she gave him a fake pout, but couldn't hold it long. It looked like they had a great time and got some stupid shit. It's probably just what Bella needed.

When Bella spotted me on the porch she began walking towards me while Emmett rustled around in the garage doing who knows what, probably up Rose's butt. Okay, that thought made me cringe and my mate looked at me, wondering what was wrong. I chuckled and explained my imagination got away from me. She shook her head and held out the Panda to me. I looked at it.

"It's a nice panda, sweetpea?" I said, in more of a questioning tone than I intended. She shook it in front of me and I assumed I was supposed to take it, so I did.

"It's for you," she finally said, walking past me and into the house without another word. She bought me a fuckin' stuffed animal? Do I look like I'm 5?

"Umm…. thank you?" I said as I walked in behind her. She just shook her head, and I assumed, at me. I didn't get it. "Bella?" I asked, trying to get her attention, so she could explain this stuffed shit to me.

Emmett appeared next to Bella and handed her a bag. She reached in, totally ignoring my questions, and pulled out a stuffed brown bear, which she immediately passed to Emmett. He took it and smiled and walked away. She reached in again and pulled out a penguin and walked over to Jasper and gave that to him. His face now had the same look mine did and I wanted to laugh, but I was confused as to why she got us stuffed animals. She pulled out a smaller stuffed Sponge Bob Square Pants and gave him to Edward. Now that got a chuckle out of everyone. We watched as she fished out two dolls, they weren't Barbie, but kind of like her, with big faces and lips and they were funny looking that is for sure. She gave one to Rose and one to Alice. She went back to the fuckin' 'Mary Poppins bag' and pulled out a small stuffed owl and gave that to Carlisle. Then she pulled out a stuffed polar bear, which made me chuckle given my recent thoughts and a stuffed doll that was tan and said Dora on it. She handed Dora to Esme and stopped to look at the polar bear and silently nodded her head to herself.

She gave a smile to Emmett and me and looped her arm through Jasper's. She turned him towards the stairs and I was in front of her in a second, stopping their progress.

"Wait a minute." They both just stared at me and I looked down at the panda and then waved it at her before looking around the room at all the confused vampires. "What's with the stuffed animals and dolls?" I asked.

She huffed. "Can't I give you something without being questioned about it?"

"Yes, you can when it makes sense. Why does a panda bear make sense?" I asked.

"He was the biggest," she answered, like that explained everything.

I looked to Emmett for a little help, but he was sorting through three other bags and it looked like he was dividing up clothes or something along those lines. I looked back at her and decided to play with her if I wasn't going to get any real answers. I moved in close and I saw Jasper step away from her.

I grinned and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Does size matter, sweetheart?"

Her heartbeat increased as did her breathing and I knew I'd be the one going upstairs with her now, even it was just to hold her. She may not even kiss me, but she wanted me. I smelled her arousal and began purring against her neck knowing I did that to her, until those dreaded words came.

"Uhhh, I think I need a shower." And she maneuvered around me and was off up the stairs. My purr instantly became a low growl that I'm sure she couldn't hear. Fuck my life!

**

* * *

AN: Okay, I'm sure you're all dyin' to find out if this is gonna be a poly story. For a while I could see it going either way but I have listened to your arguments for and against poly and I've mainly made my decision based on the reviews that I have gotten. **

**I would first like to thank the 127 people that took the time to vote on the poll and do not think your voices weren't heard because they were. The poll stayed at 74% for poly 19% against and the rest of ya 7% don't care LOL. So thank you! **

**Now, drum roll please… I am not going to do a poly. Here are my reasons and y'all can argue it all you want with me but I won't change my mind.**

**1. Originally, this was a P/B story and I had my heart set on that.**

**2. I think the story will change from my original intention if I do the poly**

**3. My original intention has already begun to get lost and I can see that through the reviews I have received, I'll explain more in a moment**

**4. The arguments against the poly were sounder than those for the poly. **

**5. The title of the story as one reviewer pointed out does not lend itself to a poly relationship and I agree**

**6. If you need more PM me.**

**Now, the original intention of this story that I feel has been getting lost, whether it's my fault or not I'm not sure but I have a couple things to say here. **

**1. SLOW DOWN, y'all are readin' so damn fast you're missin' important shit and substituting your own shit in there. Alice has no nefarious plan at this moment, she's just a jealous bitch, Rosalie is being shunned by her family for several reasons and they are given or implied throughout the chapters. And for those that haven't noticed, once Major came out to play Peter never refers to him as anything else, except when we are in the past and Major has yet to come out. **

**I actually had a case of OMJ I'm gonna pull this fuckin' story because of some of the reviews I've gotten on the last couple of chapters. They weren't mean or anything like that, they were completely off the mark! I read them and stared at them asking myself "were they reading **_**my**_** story?" **

**So thank one of my Betas heavyinfinity for keeping me going. She reread the whole story for me and confirmed, I'm not any crazier than I knew myself to be. **

**2. The main point of this story is NOT Bella! It is Peter! This isn't Saving Bella. I already did that. This is more like Rescuing Peter From Himself. One of the reasons I wanted to write this story was because people are always focused on the survivor of the crime but do not realize how it affects their significant other. Any woman who has been raped and had a boyfriend/husband at the time can tell you that the men typically can't deal with it and it breaks up the relationship. They can't deal with the way their woman is acting and they can't deal with the emotions they hide inside of themselves, while they try to be strong for their partner. The partners are often forgotten and just usually come off as uncaring and unsupportive after a while, which isn't the case, they just don't know how to express their feelings and no one is supporting them. This is where Peter is and this is Peter's story. So remember to read it with that in mind. Bella, Major, Rose, Alice, all of them are secondary in this story. Please focus on the story as I intended it…not the other stuff. **

**Sorry about the longass rant. I hate doing that, really I do. I just don't know how to say it any shorter.**

**So review the story and not the AN unless you really really want to and I hope you enjoyed the chapter…Poor Peter's the proud and totally confused owner of a panda and now he's in jail :( **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and trying to keep my tenses aligned LOL. **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Okay, so hopefully I explain this right. We are coming full circle now, where things are starting to blend together. Hence…at the end of this chapter, the last paragraph is the very first paragraph in chapter 1 (of this story) You may recognize it, I hope. If not head back to chapter one and check it out. If you are confused please let me know in your review or a PM **

_Previously in Chapter 7:_

_Her heartbeat increased as did her breathing and I knew I'd be the one going upstairs with her now, even it was just to hold her. She may not even kiss me, but she wanted me. I smelled her arousal and began purring against her neck knowing I did that to her, until those dreaded words came._

"_Uhhh, I think I need a shower." And she maneuvered around me and was off up the stairs. My purr instantly became a low growl that I'm sure she couldn't hear. Fuck my life!_

* * *

Chapter 8:

Peter's POV (always)

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Fuck my life!"

I was walking out of the police station after the charges had been dropped for my "attempted murder and assault on two officers". I guess its assault when you toss two officers off of you while trying to commit murder with your bare hands.

'_If they only knew,' _I mused.

I'm just glad there weren't any fuckin' questions about me being on drugs because I sure as hell couldn't give a blood or urine sample and would have had to break out before that happened. As it was, I had to pretend to take a dump now and then since I was sharing a cell.

I spent four weeks in jail. Four fucking weeks! I had to wait to see if my "victim" died since he had some severe head trauma and it was questionable whether they'd be charging with me with attempted murder or murder. The bad part about all of it was that I needed to eat, like real fuckin' soon. I was barely holding on by a thread and I had been giving the sleeping pills I requested to my roommate and nicking his arm at night to ease my pain just a little. I'm not sure it was even helping; it may have made my pain worse, but I was trying. And my roommate, the stupid drug dealing piece of shit who thought he was tough stuff, was also easily convinced that he was a sleep walker and continually running into things causing his nicks and cuts.

Four fucking weeks!

My only visitor was Major and he only came twice, mainly just to laugh at me and tell me what a fuck up I was. Bella was pissed that I had fucked up; he didn't say so, but I _knew_ it.

On his first visit, Major came and picked Bella up and dropped in to tell me I was a fuckin' moron. And he was right. Bella didn't come to the police station that night, like I thought she would. Instead, she went to a Motel 6 of all fuckin' places and got a room and broke down crying. When she was done, she called Major. I had called him by that time, so he was already running, apparently at a mother fuckin snail's pace, to come and bail me out. That was until we found out that bail wouldn't be granted.

Possible murderers don't just get bail; they get an arraignment hearing, which since I was arrested on a Friday I had to wait until Monday, which then turned into fuckin' Tuesday. On Tuesday, the judge, who looked like he was one of the star munchkins in 'The Wizard of Oz', ordered that I be held over until the victim died or came out of the intensive care unit. If he died, I was to be tried by the state of Vermont for murder and if he lived he could file charges and sue me for assault or drop them. Never did I want so much for someone to live as that fuckin' twatmonger, and I wished he'd hurry it the fuck up. Breaking out of jail is tricky business and it's usually not without casualties.

After Major came and told me I was a moron, he met up with Bella. I guess they actually stayed in town for a couple of days so Bella could visit the fuckin' twatmonger I hospitalized. She didn't even get my side of the story; she stayed and visited his unconscious body but never spoke to me.

When Major got her home, she tried to lock herself away in her room but Major wouldn't let her. For that I was thankful. He made her go shopping and even pushed her to enroll in school, but she was adamant about not wanting to do that. Between Major and Emmett, they kept her active and not focused on the loss she felt because of me.

Fuck me! Just when I thought I might be getting somewhere with her, I fuck it up. We were waiting to see if that fuckhead lived or died, but the truth is I was waiting to see if I had killed any hopes of a relationship with Bella after this.

Major visited me during my third week to see if I needed to break out because I'd need to feed. Going "vampire" in a jail cell wasn't something that would elude the attention of the fuckin' Volturi. I told him it was getting close and described how I had been surviving. He laughed at me for "nibbling on my roomie". Fucker.

Major informed me that the boy was awake and was planning on filing charges, which is why I was still here. He wanted to pay him off and wanted my permission to do it. I growled and acceded. The money would be coming from my bank account and I said no more than $1 million to go to that twatmonger. I suggested he start by just offering to just pay the medical bills, which given they had to reconstruct the fucker's face, were going to be a pretty penny.

So $1.33 million dollars later, I had paid off the prick, his medical bills, and restitution to the state. Fuckin' Major was all happy out spending my money like he had won fuckin' monopoly and this was just play money to him. I'm not tight with my money, but come on. A mil…plus medical bills! I said one or the other. Fucker.

Upon my release, Major took me to feed, thankfully, and then drove me back to New Hampshire to face my mate. He told me Edward had come home and was taking Bella to the library daily and reading to her. That pissed me off; that was something we did together. He couldn't have her.

After I was hit with a bucket load of calm vibes, I began to wonder if she'd chose him over me. I didn't know if I could sit by and watch them together, and I couldn't just leave. I _had_ to be near her, it wasn't a choice. These last four weeks proved that to me. I had been miserable, aching to see her and more importantly, to touch her.

Major, annoyed with my cyclone of fuckin' emotions, decided to be a prick and fed me full of fear. By the time we got "home", and I use that term loosely, I was so freaked out that Bella wouldn't want me, I was ready to cry. Major, the fuckin' asshole, chuckled at my discomfort and my thoughts that fed right into my worries. She had been abused, I killed her father, she hadn't accepted me fully as her mate, but she loved me. Major had let that much slip, though she never acknowledged it. And I just kept right on fuckin' shit up. I needed a damn plug for my blow hole of a mouth, is what I needed.

"Bella?" I called as I walked through the door, shaking off the remaining tremors from the fear caused by Major. Esme informed me that she was in her room.

I found her curled up on the bed, hugging my panda bear and softly crying into it. The smell of her blood in the room and her tears falling down her warm cheeks made me feel like I was home and simultaneously broke my heart.

I picked her up and settled her into my lap, not saying a word. She didn't try to get away, a fact for which I was eternally grateful. I held her close and nuzzled her neck, filling every fiber of my being with her scent, the scent I had longed for while I was in that cement hell. She too snuggled into me, needing that contact.

"I'm sorry, sweetpea," I began mumbling over and over again into her neck while I rocked her. "I'm sorry." It would never be enough. I took her father from her and I ruined our first date; I used to think of myself as a rock star, and now I feel just like a fuckin' rock. Those rocks that people pick up and glue stupid googly eyes to, call it cute and stick it to a piece of cardboard that says "Diplomacy; the art of saying 'nice doggie' till you can find a rock " Yeah, that was me, just waiting to be tossed aside, lost in a drawer, ignored and laughed at just because of what I was.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I suck at this relationship thing and we really need to talk. Please talk to me, sweetheart. Please?" I begged. Nope, I'm not above beggin' the only woman that will ever be allowed to consume my life. I held her for over two hours while she cried into my chest.

"Major some help here?" I asked. I felt the calm wash through me and moved my hand from her back to under her shirt, and she instantly relaxed. She sniffled and rubbed her snotty, teary face on my dress shirt, the one I had worn the night of my major debacle. The dress shirt I was wearing, also known as the filthy thing that was covered with blood from the twatmonger's beating and my latest meal. Apparently in my starving state, I had gotten a little messy, she just hadn't noticed yet. She still held my panda close and knowing the significance of it, I just felt all the worse in some ways. In others, it was nice of her to get me such a mundane gift.

"Can you talk?" I asked her and she just nodded her head and sniffled some more. A little hiccup burst from her lips and she looked up to give me a chagrined smile.

"So did ya hear about the Energizer Bunny?" I asked with a small smile. Her face contorted in confusion as she stared at me briefly before shaking her head no. "He was arrested for battery," I chirped with a smile.

She stared at me for a moment until a small smile graced her face. "That's not really funny, Peter."

"Hey, it's a classic!" I defended, and she just shook her head like a mom patronizing her child.

"Come on, doll. I need to clean up and you'd probably like to too." I stood and put her on her feet, prying the panda from her grasp.

"What?" she asked, looking up at me stunned.

"I need a shower and you're all snotty, come on." I pulled her towards the bathroom.

"I. Am. Not. Showering. With. You. Peter." She enunciated each word like she was talking to a child. I just shook my head and smiled.

"I didn't ask you to, sweetheart. I thought you could get cleaned up at the sink and I'll shower."

"It's a glass door, Peter. I'm not watching you shower. I'll just wait out here." She tried to pull away from me, but I wasn't having it. I wasn't letting her out of my sight again. It was too soon.

"Come on. I have a plan, just watch." I pulled her into the bathroom and sat her on the toilet lid. I went to the linen closet in the bathroom and grabbed a king size black flat sheet and hung it over the shower. "There, see…okay?" I asked, pointing to the makeshift barrier.

"Why can't I just wait in the bedroom, Peter?" she asked with annoyance.

"Because, I don't know about you, but I can't stand to be that far away from you again. I promise, I won't be long, but I need to get my food off of me, and I need to get Bubba off of me, and I need to get that stinky ass jail cell off of me." She snickered at my mini-rant.

"Who's Bubba?" she asked with a giggle. I loved seeing it. She blew her nose and I waited before I answered.

"Bubba is the nickname I gave my cell mate. He…" I stopped. I was about to do it again and luckily I caught myself. Prison rape jokes were off the list. I sighed and turned around turning the water on. I stepped into the shower with my clothes still on and then piled them in a wet pile at the back of the shower.

"He what?" Bella finally asked. She had only waited about 3 minutes of dead silence before asking something.

"Nothing, Bella. It was going to be a joke, but never mind. It was a bad joke." I could smell her tears even over the stench of the blood and dirt running off my skin and the comforting smell of my soap and shampoo. I could smell them coming from her and it killed me. I rushed through my shower and when I turned it off I reached for a towel, but was met with a hand. The small warm hand dried my hand off and it felt as though she was studying my hand and arm. There were only a couple scars visible. I'm not sure if that's what she was looking at or not. I didn't even peek. It was wonderful to have her touch me so tenderly.

Finally, a towel was put into my hand and though I was still wet, I really just wanted to stay like that. For a second, I thought I could feel her love and wonderment for me. It gave me hope. That is, until I heard the bathroom door close and then the bedroom door and then I heard her little feet go running down the stairs. What had I done?

I searched her out after I dressed and found her on the front steps, just sitting. No more tears, though her cheeks held the stains from hours past. She never did wash her face while she was in the bathroom. I had tossed on some jeans and a blue t-shirt before coming down to find her. My hair was dripping into my shirt and it felt like there were cold tears falling on me. Crying for me. I just set us back with my little blow up in Vermont. I _know_ I did.

xxxxxXXXXXxxxx

After reading about her dad's disappearance, she blamed herself a lot. Jasper tried to console her because she wanted nothing to do with me. She kept saying it wasn't true and though I was allowed around her, she didn't talk to me.

One day, Rosalie in her infinite fuckin' blonde wisdom, decided to put her two cents in.

"You know it's true! You need to acknowledge it so you can start getting better!" Rosalie yelled at Bella.

"Shut the fuck up Rosalie! Leave her alone. She'll deal with it when she's Goddamn good and ready!" I yelled back at her. Stupid bitch, stickin' her nose where it didn't fuckin' belong.

"You all know I'm right! She needs to deal with it. She's not living- she's barely existing. She's barely doing any better than when I found her at Charlie's!"

I don't know why she cared so much. We all wanted Bella better, but we didn't want to do more harm than good. Carlisle said she wasn't ready to deal with it and when she was, she'd come to us. Well, the way things were going she'd probably go to Jasper first.

Bella said nothing to Rosalie's rant. She had visibly flinched at the mention of Charlie's name, but I wasn't sure why. Instead, she simply picked herself up and went to her room. Rosalie rose to follow her, but I couldn't have that and was in front of her in an instant.

"Leave her be," I growled out.

"No. She needs to deal with this. She knows it's true, she just won't acknowledge it out loud."

"How? How does she know it's true Rosalie? She doesn't remember what happened. All she's fairly certain of is that I murdered her father. Let her deal with that Cracker Jacked-up box of information for now." I glared at her.

Emmett wasn't in the middle this time. Come to think of it, no one was. I guess the tension involved in this argument that had been a long time coming was driving everyone nuts. So they were going to let it play out.

"She knows it's true because her body is different, Peter. He shaved her. If he raped her, he broke her hymen, and I'm guessing her ass might be different too, but I don't know. There's a diary, if we ever let her read it, and look at her, she masturbates constantly. She didn't do that before!" She was screeching and I stood there slack jawed. I couldn't believe she was yelling these things. In reality, I wanted to kill her, but I was stuck on the fact that I was certain Bella could hear every word and I was more worried about what was going to happen next. I surveyed the room and that seemed to be the case all around. We stood gaping like a sea of fish wondering why our worm was doing jumping jacks.

We were all a bit shocked when Bella suddenly called Edward to her room. Since he couldn't read her mind, he just looked at us and shrugged his shoulders, clueless as the rest of us. He did give me a slight pause, gauging if this was okay with me. I looked away from him and thought _'go'. _ In truth, I was not okay with it, but I wouldn't say anything; the last thing I needed to do was push her further away.

The living room resembled a museum full of vampire statues as we listened to Edward's approach. Rosalie had brilliantly decided to shut her fuckin' mouth, finally.

"Edward, I can't stay here. I need to go home, please?" she nearly begged as we heard him enter her room.

Edward gave a big sigh and we heard the bed squeak as he joined her on it, I guessed. I didn't like that fuckin' idea either, but she was going to try to talk to him and he knew we were all listening for what her reaction to Rosalie's words would be.

"Bella, I know this is a bad time for you and I'm truly sorry for causing all of this, but you can't go home. There's nothing there for you and Peter _is_ here for you, so are the rest of us. You have your new name and you just need to start your new life….When you are ready," he tacked on at the end.

"Rosalie hates me and I just don't belong here. I need to leave. I'm disrupting your family."

Rosalie ran upstairs. "I don't hate you, Bella. I just want you to live your life. Move on with Edward. You can have him back. You're both talking now…" Bella cut her off.

"Keep out of it, Rosalie. Edward and I are not getting back together." I let out the biggest breath ever, not even realizing I was holding it in. Of course, not needing to breathe does that to you. But releasing that air relaxed me just slightly. I was thankful to hear she didn't want Edward back.

"Bella? Can I help?" I heard Esme ask. I looked around the room, not even realizing that she had left.

"No thank you, Esme," Bella responded in a clipped tone and then sighed heavily. The bed shifted and Edward whispered something to the two vampire women in the room that I couldn't make out. I was sure Bella didn't hear it.

Both women returned downstairs looking defeated.

"He said to leave them be," Esme answered the unspoken question as she took her spot beside Carlisle.

"Bella, I don't know what to do to make things better for you. I would like to though. Please, is there anything I can do?" Edward pleaded. He really did feel guilty for what he had done. He explained it as just trying to make sure she didn't follow him, search for him, or wait for him. He knew he fucked up and he has the scars I gave him to prove it. I had caught him looking at them now and then. His face was blank but I'm sure his emotions weren't as Jasper usually had to "hunt" on those days.

"Just leave me alone, Edward. If I'm a prisoner here then just let me be."

"No Bella, no you are not a prisoner. But you'd be questioned in your dad's disappearance. People think you are dead. Your mate…," he paused, "Your mate is here, Bella. Peter is your mate. Never mind what everyone else says. He _is_ your mate, Bella. I know what he did was horrible and probably a bit crazy, but he did it for you. He saw firsthand what was happening to you. I honestly wish things would have been better for you. I wish I would have done things differently. I'm so so sorry, Bella. Please, tell me what to do and I'll do it. Anything you want, I'll give you." He was nearly crying, probably would have if it were possible.

Edward blamed himself for her predicament and that's fine. I blamed him too, to an extent. I blamed her too, though. She's the one hanging on to this. Not letting any of us in.

"I want my dad back; I want my life back. I had plans, Edward and you were a part of those plans. I loved you. I loved your family. I wanted to graduate with you, go to college with you, and become a vampire _with you_. You were my everything. My world revolved around you and then one day Jasper takes a snap at me. HE'S A VAMPIRE!" she began yelling. Her comment seemed out of place in her rant, but I suppose it made sense to her.

"You can't give me anything, Edward. You've taken everything I had and now I'm supposed to be fine because Peter is my mate?" That short burst of anger was followed by a hopelessness that even I could feel. She was fuckin' defeated.

"You were right. I wasn't good enough for you. I always knew that, but on some level I didn't want to believe it. You made me not want to believe it and then you threw it in my face. I thought I had a mate, a best friend, a set of truly loving parents who were interested in me, who would care for me. I had the big brother that I always wanted and the bitchy sister-in-law that comes with being an in-law. I guess I didn't give too much thought to Jasper. He was a brother of sorts, more like the black sheep of the family. I should have paid more attention to how you guys treated him. It's how you were eventually going to treat me." She paused collecting her thoughts for a moment.

"But instead of changing me and putting me in the corner with Jasper, you left. I wasn't even good enough for you to keep in a corner. I guess I should have been happy about that. Better to grow old than stay stuck in a corner for eternity. I know you never loved me, Edward. And don't argue…" It didn't seem like she was done, but her words were getting quieter and my heart was breaking with each one. She truly felt she had nothing to live for.

"You know Edward, that man…that vampire that is downstairs that claims to be my mate. I suppose I know he is, but I can't risk it. I can't risk this pain. In the grand scheme of my life I've lost everything- my identity, my family. My father is dead, my mother has no clue what happened to me, you all left me, and I didn't even graduate high school. There is nothing for me. Peter makes me feel better when he's around, but I don't know him. It wasn't love at first sight. All I know is that he killed my father and I'm supposed to love him and thank him for that?" She broke down sobbing and I again heard the bed creak.

She mumbled a bit through her tears and Edward asked her to repeat it. I really fuckin' wish he wouldn't have.

"I…I said…I...," sniffles, "I don't even know if I'm a virgin. I j-j-just want to… d-d-die. Please Edward? Please? You owe me that don't you? Please… end my suffering." She stuffed her face in a pillow and I was in her room in a heartbeat.

"Don't you dare," I growled quietly at Edward. He held his hands up and got up from the bed.

"I wasn't going to, Peter. She's starting to let it out though, so that's good." He patted my shoulder, ignoring my constant growl as he walked out the door.

My mate wanted to die; she asked Edward to kill her. She didn't want to be with me. I know we hadn't made the connection as mates. Her being a human apparently made a big difference. She'd know she never loved Edward if she'd just let me in. She was being selfish, wanting to take herself from me.

She cried herself to sleep and I sat on the floor next to the bed. She knew I was there because I stroked her hair a few times, showing my support. She never pushed me away, but she didn't accept me, I could see that much.

She spent a couple days in her room depressed, not eating, and sleeping a lot. On the third day, I picked her up and dropped her pajama clad body into a tub of warm water, making sure she didn't actually get hurt, just jolted. She cursed and sputtered and yelled. It was the most she had ever said to me, after telling me her story, and I didn't care if it was because she was angry. I wasn't letting her get back to the state she was in when I found her.

"You're getting your shit together and we're gonna go buy you some clothes. So either you shower and get ready to go, or I'm sending Alice shopping and I will force you into whatever frilly stupid shit she buys you," I threatened. The family had discussed how much Bella hated shopping, but it was going to fuckin' happen.

She had enjoyed her time with Emmett when she returned with the fuckin' stupid ass stuffed toys. Passing them out like she lived with a bunch of fuckin' five year olds. I'm not sure who was acting more immature, her or us.

Bella did get ready and we did shop. I brought Emmett with us as a buffer and because she had had a good time with him before. I didn't drag her from shop to shop. I let her pick where she wanted to go and that's what we did. I paid for her stuff and she didn't argue, actually she didn't talk even. I hear tell she used to argue about gifts, but I guess she wasn't in a place to argue seein' as she had nothing of her own. Which was fine, I _would_ take care of her.

A week had gone by since her outburst/suicidal request, and then her depression. She let me near her, she let Jasper near her, but she hasn't tried to talk to Edward since then. He was devastated by her request and it was his turn to go into a depression, making Jasper one sorry mother fucker in this house. If vampires ever get suicidal, I'd think Jasper would be right there. Of course, if he'd let the fuckin' Major out, this wouldn't be a problem. Major can handle these emotions; he doesn't absorb them like Jasper does.

So for one night we decided to pretend to be a "family". We put our arguments aside and sat together. It was tense and not many of us talked. Couples stayed together and we all had our sides. No matter what anyone said, Alice was certain Bella was going to be with Edward, even though she couldn't see Bella anymore. Jasper agreed with Alice because he could still feel Edward's love for her, a fact that I again hated, and all he could feel from me was my need to protect her. Rosalie never liked me, so she sided with them as did the rest of the family because Alice is _never_ wrong. Fuckin' bitch couldn't predict when Bella was going to take a dump next, let alone who she was fuckin' destined to be mated to. But I pretended, for one night, I pretended to be a part of these pussy suckin' fampires, to try to have some peace with my mate.

I held a soft, tender Bella in my strong steel arms as we sat watching television. She accepted me but wasn't sure of me. She felt the pull, the electricity between us. She couldn't deny the feeling, but she was wary. It didn't help that this whole fuckin' family was adamant that she was Edward's mate; well, everyone except Edward, that is.

* * *

**A/N: **

***The quote "Diplomacy; the art of saying 'nice doggie' till you can find a rock" is by Will Rogers**

**I'd also like to take a minute and apologize if I upset any reviewers with my rant in my last chapter. I know not everyone reads a chapter the same but I just wanted to make sure everyone understood the purpose of the story. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, it's hard to convey that in writing…especially when I might be ranting a little, LOL. Oh and when I said review the story and not the AN that's because I can make the story better if I get feedback on it (ideally). If everyone focuses on the AN that doesn't help the story. But please don't ever be afraid to review. **

**I'd also like to say thank you to everyone who has supported my decision to go with the P/B story despite the overwhelming vote for poly. I may throw in an outtake or alternate ending that goes that way…but I make no promises. **** Thank you! **

**Okay, so hopefully I explained the ending right. We are coming full circle now, where things are starting to blend together. Hence…at the end of this chapter, the last paragraph is the very first paragraph in chapter 1 (of this story) You may recognize it, I hope. If not head back to chapter one and check it out. If you are confused please let me know in your review or a PM **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Okay excuses excuses…you don't care and I'm sorry…on with the show!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and trying to keep my tenses aligned LOL. **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Special thanks to 'often reading' for calling me out on my boo-boo. The author of the Diplomacy quote in the last chapter is not Wynn Catlin (whoever in the hell that is) it's Will Rogers **

_Previously in Chapter 8:_

_I searched her out after I dressed and found her on the front steps, just sitting. No more tears, though her cheeks held the stains from hours past. She never did wash her face while she was in the bathroom. I had tossed on some jeans and a blue t-shirt before coming down to find her. My hair was dripping into my shirt and it felt like there were cold tears falling on me. Crying for me. I just set us back with my little blow up in Vermont. I know I did. _

* * *

Chapter 9:

Peter's POV (always)

"Jasper, you will go back to the vegetarian diet when the depression sets in again," Alice stated defiantly.

"Darlin', I ain't gonna get depressed again. I learned how to hunt without being a monster. And I ain't ever goin' back to you. Nor am I gonna go veggie again; that shit's nasty!"

"You will." Alice lifted her chin and turned her head away like she was getting the final say.

"Nope. 'Cause I don't like you morons. You treated me terribly, always waiting for me to fuck up. I let you guide me blindly because you could _see _things. And look at how you used to dress me!"

I snickered as Major began listing all the "done me wrongs" that Alice and the Cullens had committed against him.

"That's fine, _Jasper_," Rosalie sneered. "We don't like you either, never have in fact. Not to mention since _he _got here… ." She pointed to me, "you've started talking like a hick again. I thought for sure you at least knew how to _sound_ intelligent." She began to walk off and Major was in front of her with narrowed eyes. Emmett jumped between them pushing Rose behind him.

"Jaz, man, I know she's cranky, but don't you touch my woman. I know I probably can't beat you in a fight, but I'm sure as hell willing to try to protect her and her snobbish mouth," Emmett stated with acid towards both of them. He was tired of being put in the middle and I don't blame him, but he really wouldn't let Major hurt his mate without a fight.

My body was suddenly wracked with a pain that only Major could produce and I looked from my new spot on the floor over to where everyone else was also writhing in pain. Bella sat in a chair unfazed by the scene in front of her. You'd think she saw this fuckin' shit everyday in this house or on CNN or some shit. We all moaned almost simultaneously because, yeah Major didn't want to hurt everyone, but he didn't care if he did. He was just lucky Bella was immune to his shit unless he was touching her.

I snapped my teeth closed with the force of a Mac truck hitting a wall at 80mph and forced myself slowly to stand. It was hard and I was only able to do it thanks to years of fuckin' practice. It may not be riding a bicycle, but I remembered what I needed to do nonetheless. I stiffly and painfully made my way to Bella who looked up at me solemnly and cocked her head as she noticed I was still experiencing Major's pain. But even as she looked back around the room at the others, she said nothing. She stood and I settled _agonizingly_ into the chair. She took her place on my lap and I grabbed her waist, hoping that I could absorb some of her shield.

Well, that could have gone three fuckin' ways I suppose. One, she protects me at least a little. Two, nothing happens. Three, she begins screaming fuckin' bloody murder in _my ear _because I just opened her up to the pain Major was sending out.

Fucking HELL!

I let go of her like she was on fire and jumped from under her over the back of the chair. Major reigned in the pain when she began to scream and was next to her the same second I was leap froggin' the fuckin' furniture. The irony of the green t-shirt I was wearing was not lost on me as I recovered from the pain I had just experienced and the fright my dumplin' gave me.

I peeked back over the back of the chair as Major was soothing her and asking what happened. Through a silent conversation as our eyes went from one person to the other we figured out that Major's gift could be funneled through anyone into Bella as long as they had skin contact. I didn't know if that made me happy because now he didn't need to touch her so much or nervous because she's just slightly less protected than I thought.

Major carried her upstairs whispering his apologies as everyone pulled themselves together and off the floor. I glared at Rosalie on my way upstairs because this was all her fuckin' fault. I should have felt jealous to see my girl being carried off by my brother, but sometimes I had to be thankful for my _gift_. I knew there was nothing between them; he was the protective older brother….waaay older. So despite my anger at Alice, Rosalie, and all the fuckin' Cullens, I bit my tongue and followed my family.

Since Vermont I hadn't tried to take Bella on another date. She at least gave me the chance to explain. It didn't do any good. She said 'just because he was a meathead didn't mean he deserved to get the shit beat out of him'. I disagreed; I didn't think women should be treated that way. I didn't like his insinuations about my reasons for being at the play and I was just pissed in general to begin with.

I never told Bella how it hurt me that she didn't come and visit me in jail and she never brought it up either. Thanks to the mating pull and electricity we felt when we touched, I was allowed that much contact with her, but emotionally she was even more closed off to me than before.

Major sat with her in the library and I sat next to them reaching for her hand. "I'm sorry, doll. I didn't know that would happen," I said, playing with her fingers.

"I know, I didn't either. Nothing to apologize for," she responded, leaning against Major as he rubbed her back and reached for a book. I stiffened a little seeing that they were reading 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'. My anger and sorrow began engulfing me, gagging me if it were possible. He was sharing that with her because I fucked up.

Major stared me down with his eyes narrowed, daring me to say anything as my jaw flapped up and down, torn between crying and telling them both to fuck off. Bella, ignorant of the problem I was going through, flipped through the book, looking for where they left off, which was at the back… the end- my end. I settled on anger as I closed my fish face and settled on glaring at Major.

His steely eyes set narrowly as he continued to rub circles on Bella's back. I continued to play with the fingers of her free hand and yet we were locked in a war. Bella, still clueless, began to read aloud and I broke my gaze from Major's narrowed slits to look at the girl, my girl, in _his_ lap. And just like that, rage and jealousy burst forward like a backdraft. My fire was given the oxygen it needed to explode.

Major felt my sudden change in emotions and quickly stood, flipping Bella behind him and crouching to protect her. Bella squealed and fell to the floor in the rush of movement, but Major was no fool and wouldn't take his eyes off me as I reacted to his protection. My hate surged forward: my hate for Bella, for him, for the fuckin' seven dwarfs that lived in this house, for life, for death, for everything and anything.

"Get the fuck out of my way and give me my mate, Major," I snarled at him, crouched mirroring his positionand watching my confused mate roll around on the floor as she tried to stand and see what was going on at the same time. I know she was speaking, but I couldn't bring myself to care what the fuck she was saying, just like I could hear commotion downstairs, but again I didn't care. I was royally pissed and Major was going to bear the brunt of it.

"You aren't in control and I'm not gonna let you fuckin' hurt her because you're a pussy," Major snarled and stepped back, knocking Bella back to the floor. I snarled at him. I was pissed at her, but he had no right to hurt my mate and I took a step forward, calculating if I could take him out before we hurt her in the process.

"You can't win…," he started and then stopped as Bella moved around him and he grabbed her by the waist.

"Let me go, Major. You're all freaking out over nothing! Stop this right now! I don't even want to be here and you're all nuts!" she yelled, trying to pull away from Major to get to the door.

"You ain't goin' nowhere, darlin'. You see that big bad vamp over there?" He pointed towards me. I was barely coherent, watching his arms around her, watching as he pulled her body to his. I saw her squirm and heard her yells. He was holding her against her will!

"Well, cupcake, he's not just mad at me, he's livid at you. He doesn't want me touching you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hurt you right now. So you need to stay right here." He pushed her behind him again, just as I barreled toward them both. I didn't want to hurt her, but I wanted to hurt him so bad, hurting her just seemed like necessary collateral damage.

I don't even know why I try. I hit Major knowing he was stronger than a brick shit house and as his hands grabbed for my throat, I realized in that moment I welcomed the death he could bring.

Only he didn't bring death; he pumped me full of fear and tossed me out the nearest fuckin' window, shakin' like a leaf but hitting the ground with the force of a meteor from outer space. He followed me out moments later and I was up trying to get past him to get to Bella. Suddenly all I could think was that she needed to pay for making me so weak, so vulnerable, for not accepting me, for allowing me closeness but not love, for being broken, for being less than the ideal mate. She owed me and she was going to fuckin' pay. I just had to get by this asshole. I lunged.

Again I slammed into him and again he pumped me full of fear. He wasn't trying to calm me. He had a million ways to stop me, but he was using fear. I didn't understand why and I didn't care. I felt it again and I collided with the ground, again. His foot came to my throat and as I reached for it he sent me pain. But he didn't stick with it. He cycled through a ton of emotions, leaving me feeling dizzy. I didn't know vampires could get fuckin' dizzy. I was lying on the ground feeling like someone tied me to an out of control teacup at an amusement park. Fuck! Humans are nuts that they actually like feeling this shit!

I felt agreeableness wash over me as his foot lifted from my throat. "Stay down." His voice was calm but menacing. I huffed and growled but stayed put like a petulant puppy.

"Good boy," he mocked, and I growled again.

I leaned up on my elbows looking towards the window I had flown out of. Bella and Edward stood up there and I glared at both of them. My life was just fine before they became a part of it.

"Why are you so mad at me? At Bella? What's got your feathers all ruffled, boy?" Major asked condescendingly and I glared at him, turning my head but staying put to avoid another confrontation. I didn't have to tell him shit.

"Tell him," Edward spoke from his perch. "Or I will," he threatened. His arm was around Bella and though I thought she'd be crying, she was pissed, too. She was glaring at us, at me, at Major, I wasn't sure.

"You go ahead. It's no one's business, but you make everything your fuckin' business just like that fucked up tooth fairy in there," I snarled, pointing towards the house while sitting up further. My legs were stretched in front of me and Major stood at my feet, an evil knowing smirk playing at his lips.

"What? You think you know something clever, _Jasper_?" I asked, knowing the name would piss him off. I hadn't called him Jasper since Major took command.

I should have known that he was gonna see through my attempt at manipulation.

"I know more than you think," he claimed, crouching down in front of me.

"What are they talking about, Peter?" Bella asked from her perch next to the God of busybodies.

"Nothing, Bella. Nothing at all, that's why they're all just standing around, because they don't know shit!" I hollered right at Major. Not one of my proudest moments, sounding like a petulant child that wasn't getting his way. But that was the thing… I never seem to get my way. Everything is about everyone else. All I really wanted was to leave this family circus and start my life with my mate. I didn't think that was asking the powers that be too much. But I guess I was wrong.

"Wrong again, Petey," Major said in an eerily calm, authoritative manner with a smile that the Devil himself would fear. He was too calm, too controlled, too fuckin' psycho. He was as fuckin' pissed as a drunk in a drought, but he wasn't lettin' on. At least he wasn't lettin' on in a way anyone would know, but me.

I felt the tingling fear as it crept into my toes and feet, tickling my ankles as it began to raise the hair on my legs. Yeah, it was slow and torturous and exactly what Major was going for as that smile continued to stare me down. Many who see it…well it's usually the last fuckin' thing they ever see. The fear was coming from Major, I could tell by how it was slowly walking up my body, but my own was there, too. And I _knew_- it was time to start flappin' my jaw.

"Fine," I growled in resignation, snapping my teeth with my discomfort. Major changed nothing, the fear still pulsed into my body, and my manly parts had taken the hint and tried as hard as they could to hide. My stomach would be doing flip flops if I thought that were possible and I knew as it crawled towards my chest my heart would feel like it was fluttering, though a beat would never actually come from it. But our minds still registered the sensations our bodies should feel, our bodies already knew what fear felt like and thus we felt it despite our exterior shell. It didn't matter that we were dead. If anything, I think we feel more than before, but I don't remember so I can't be certain. Humanity was a long time ago for me.

"Edward?" Bella asked. I looked up and she looked at him and then the ground. With a nod he picked her up and cradled her to his chest as he jumped through the busted out window, landing with a soft thud and crackle on the broken glass.

He set her down and she came towards me, but I knew if I was going to talk, if I had to talk, she couldn't be with me. I held my hand up to stop her and she looked hurt. Major stood and walked to her, tossing a granite arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his side. My jealousy again flared. It almost seemed as though she welcomed his touch more than mine.

"He needs to do this, Bella," he whispered in her ear, turning his head slightly so he could glare at me, indicating he felt my jealousy and was displeased. She nodded and leaned into him, giving me an expectant look.

The rest of the Cullens piled around like gossiping hens waiting to find out about the black sheep of the family. I knew I wasn't literally the black sheep. There were distinct lines drawn with the Cullens on one side and Bella, Major, and myself on the other. But the metaphor still rang true at that moment.

"You all wanna know what's wrong with me?" I asked, looking pointedly at each dwarf standing around me, cuz fuck if they aren't little, but they are certainly fuckin' attached at the hip and skipping to their own fuckin' little tune.

"I'm sick of fuckin' being here. I'm sick of waitin' for my mate to decide she's my fuckin' mate," I glared at Bella and she glared back. Well, that was a surprise.

"I hate that it feels like you'd rather be with Jasper than me." I knew I was still trying to goad the fucker, but he still wasn't biting and Bella snuggled closer into his arms at my words, the fuckin' whore!

"This is the most fucked up band of merry men and women the world has ever known and no one gives a fuck about the shit I have to deal with. It's all ohhh Bella this and Bella that. Ya'll treat Rose like a fuckin' outcast and I can't say I like the bitch either, but what the hell did she do? You treated Jasper the same way for fuckin' years, treatin' him like a pansy ass mother fucker. He's the GOD OF WAR! Doesn't that mean anythin' to the delusional elf, the compassionate doctor, or anyone else?

"I would love nothin' more than to grab Bella and get the fuck out of here, but she's not alright and I don't know that bein' alone with me is what she needs. I keep tryin' to put Bella first, as does everyone else, but she has hardly acknowledged that she was sodomized and abused by her father!"

"I also don't know her like ya'll think ya know her. She doesn't know herself. Hasn't anyone noticed that she doesn't talk to any of us but Major? What makes him so fuckin' special, huh doll?"

I stopped my rant to glance at her, waiting for an answer. She was cryin' softly into his shirt and I honestly cared, but I was too pissed to do anything about it. Major tapped her shoulder and she turned to glare at me.

"I KNOW, OKAY? I KNOW!" she screamed at me and ran into the house at her slow as fuck human pace. Everyone appeared torn whether to follow her or continue to glare at me as I sat like a fallen duck on the ground wonderin' what the fuck do I do now?

"Peter," Major spoke softly, but the menacing undertone was not lost on me and neither was the evil glare.

"Bella can kill me later but I'm gonna tell ya a few things, partner. She loves you. She is waiting for _you_ to get _your_ head out of _your_ ass, you ass!" Major squatted down by my head and I felt a sharp pain shoot through my chest. Just as a reaction, I grasped at my chest and sucked in a breath of unneeded air, staring at Major wondering why of all things he could make me feel it was this.

The evilness melted away from his face as he returned to Jasper; Major was hidden once again. Ah hell, he was gonna go all emo on me! "Jasper," I said tersely acknowledging the change.

"You wanted me, asshole. Now you got me," he said in a sharp whisper against my ear, repeating the same words he spoke when Major came to the forefront. I looked at him. I didn't want him. I didn't even fuckin' like him. What the fuck was he talkin' about? Fucked up psycho-split-personality-asshole!

"I didn't want you, you pansy ass," I growled, standing up and pushing him away despite the pain in my chest. He looked sadly back at the house.

"That's what she's feeling, Peter," he said quietly.

I rubbed my chest looking at him for a moment. Her pain and heartbreak were almost unbearable for me, let alone a human.

"You're mad at her, Peter. I know. But I don't understand why? She has never pushed you away, never told you to leave. You continually do stupid shit. You flip out for no reason. You beat some guy to a pulp on your first and only ever attempted date with her. You never tried to ask her out again. You never explained why you turned some poor bastard's face into jelly. You don't talk to her either. She knows you are keeping something from her and it is killing her. She wants to open up to you, but she's scared." That last bit had my head snapping up to look at Jasper in the eyes.

"Scared? She's scared of me?" He shook his head at my question, giving me a sad smile.

"She's not scared of you, Peter. She's scared of herself. She's scared to try to love again. She's scared of being hurt again. She's scared of being left." For some reason it all made perfect fuckin' sense now. Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't Major tell me? Why is Jasper here? I got some questions answered, but I still had many more unanswered ones as I looked on at the family, who were standing around like Greek statues without a Coliseum.

I got up and made my way inside to find Bella. I knew Jasper was following behind me while everyone else began doin' some semblance of a potty dance as they hopped around on their feet wondering what they should do.

"Doll?" I asked as I entered Bella's room. She was lying face down on her bed, crying into the pillow she hugging to her soft little body. I sat next to her and rubbed her back. Immediately, the pain in my chest lessened and I knew Jasper was going to allow me to feel her emotions.

"I'm sorry. I'm a fuck up, Bella. I haven't wanted to push you into anything an' was hopin' you'd come to me when you were ready to get to know me. I guess maybe that backfired. I've been angry at you for a long time now." Her head shot up at my words and her puffy red eyes narrowed at me. I held my hands up trying to keep the little lioness at bay.

"It was wrong to be mad at you. I was mad at you for not accepting me, but I suppose I was so worried about protectin' ya, I didn' make it easy for you to accept me. In some ways I was waitin' for ya to tell me to leave, because I killed your dad. I'm not sorry for that though, Bella. I'm not sorry and I never will be. He deserved it."

She began shaking her head and this is where I knew we were done. Her sorrow and anger increased. Jasper was just outside the door, helping me feel the changes in her emotions and it was doing nothing to honestly help me. I now knew more anxiety then ever and I was ready to get mad again, ready for her to break my heart.

"Y…you're an asshole, P…eter," she stuttered and sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as she sat up to face me fully.

Jasper replaced her feelings with a calmness, knowing I was about to fly off the handle. The change was abrupt and gave me pause long enough to allow Bella to continue.

"You killed my father and you want me to be okay with it? Do you know I've read the diary? He wasn't a bad man, he was a good man who was disturbed and upset by his worthless wreck of a daughter." I growled at her description of herself and her old man, but I didn't want to hear her talk about herself that way. She hiccupped and the tears came again, preventing her from continuing.

She still hadn't asked me to leave; maybe she just wasn't strong enough. Jasper said she was afraid of being left again. But she can't love me, she can't want me around. I figured I'd save her the trouble. With a heavy sigh, I stood from the bed and turned my back to her, the words easier to say that way. "I'll leave you be, Bella. I'll pack my stuff and never bother you again. I'll never be sorry I killed your disgusting father. But…I am sorry that I killed any chance of having you love me. I'll live in eternity with that pain if it makes you feel any better."

Her crying became hysterical at my words and I really wanted to go comfort her, but again she didn't stop me, just like she didn't tell me to leave. If she loved me, she'd stop me. I took one step towards the door and was confronted by Jasper blocking my way out. He looked pissed, but he was still just Jasper. I tried to side-step him but he blocked me, so I pushed him back with a growl, trying to make my exit.

"You didn't listen to a thing I said, did ya?" he asked, pushing me back.

"I did. She loves me but she can't forgive me, and she doesn't want to be with me. You go baby her, I'm outta here." I shoved him into the door frame which cracked under the pressure. I was almost past him when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Before I could react to Jasper's touch, the emotional onslaught flooded through me.

"If you leave, she will die," he said matter-of-factly. "This is her, Peter. What you just did to her." I couldn't stand it and my knees buckled. I wanted to tear at my chest to make the heartbreak and worthlessness go away. We left her to her hysteria as I crawled on the floor, never feeling so helpless in all my life. I realized Jasper was shaking slightly as he funneled her emotions through me.

As I writhed on the floor, some part of my brain realized I did ask for Jasper, unconsciously of course, but as I called him Jasper while we were outside, it was a silent plea for the soft-sensitive guy to help me. Major would have never gone through this; he would have told her to knock her shit off and he wouldn't have funneled her feelings into me. Jasper would though. Jasper would help me in a way that no one else could. He helped me to understand what Bella was dealing with. And I just made it worse.

Her emotions had been this strong for at least the last thirty minutes with no hint of dying out. Her hysteria had caused one bout of hiccups followed shortly by vomiting. Her crying had ceased after that but the emotional onslaught never slowed. The fact that I was on the floor suffering next to her didn't seem to matter to anyone. I don't know why anyone let it go on this long. I wasn't in a position to help her. I was barely avoiding clawing the spare part, known as my heart, out of my chest.

I didn't know where the other fuckin' morons were; I was too distracted to think around the pain and the fact that I caused it. Didn't any of them want Jasper to stop this?

Finally, after the longest 2 hours of my fuckin' life or death, Jasper pulled the pain back enough that I could function. It wasn't like the physical pain he could send out. I had learned to work around that, with great effort but still, able to work around it. This pain though, well it cut at the core, at the soul.

I looked at my pumpkin' who was nearing sleep, I hoped. The other option, the way I found her, was not an option. Why? Why did he let her suffer without help? Why did the Cullens? I slowly made my way to her and climbed on top of her, not next to her, on top. I cocooned her fetal position into my body and laid just enough weight on her to relax my muscles slightly while still holding myself up. I just wanted her to feel safe, to feel me.

For a moment she didn't stir and I thought I had lost her again, but soon she was wiggling under me. Normally I would have loved to feel her little body under me but right now, I just needed to know she was okay.

"I love you," I whispered into her ear. "I'm not leaving and I never want you to feel that way again, doll." I kept my tone soft and gentle and hugged her with my body just a little more, emphasizing my presence.

"I love you, too, Peter. But…" My heart dropped at her but. "I'm scared. I really just want to die. Please, Peter. Please?" she begged and I knew I'd give her anything _but_ that!

"No," I barked, a little more sternly than I intended.

"But…" I placed a finger against her lips and looked down at her body curled underneath mine. She was fragile, pale, and still a bit sickly looking because she constantly refused to eat. She was eventually gonna die if she didn't start taking care of herself. I looked at Jasper for help, only to find he was gone.

"No, Bella. No." I just didn't know what else to say and I hugged her closer to me, wanting to squeeze those ideas right out of her.

"Sorry to interrupt," Carlisle's voice came from the doorway as Bella tried to peer at him from around my smokestack sized arm.

"Bella, do you know a boy named Jacob Black?" Carlisle asked. I went rigid at the mention of anyone knowing Bella, especially a boy.

She cocked her head underneath me slightly, just as confused as I was, wondering why Carlisle was asking, she answered, "Yes?"

* * *

**AN: Yep, he finally bared his soul…*ponders* I wonder what else he could bare ;)**

**So let me know what you thought of his "confession" Peter is anxious to find out.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…and I've recently found out that Alice in Wonderland is public domain. So there!**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Okay excuses excuses…you don't care and I'm sorry…on with the show!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity for squeezing me in before vacay and ForksPixie for beta'ing and trying to keep my tenses aligned LOL. **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Okay as many of you have heard or may have noticed. Broken Baby was pulled by FF. That changes nothing. It has been renamed and reposted as Daddy's Gonna Buy You A Mockingbird. If you see the name or run into the story it's the same story just a new name…nothing else was changed. **

_Previously in Chapter 9:_

"_Bella, do you know a boy named Jacob Black?" Carlisle asked. I went rigid at the mention of anyone knowing Bella, especially a boy. _

_She cocked her head underneath me slightly, just as confused as I was, wondering why Carlisle was asking, she answered, "Yes?" _

* * *

Chapter 10:

Peter's POV (always)

"Do we need to talk about this _now_, Carlisle? We're kinda busy here." I didn't move an inch from Bella and I didn't have to be an empath to know she was totally confused. I was too. How did someone that knew Bella find her? I searched my gift and all I realized is that it hasn't been workin' right for me lately. I sighed and moved off of Bella as she looked even more confused by my retreat.

"You don't have to talk about me like I'm not here, you know?" she snapped, looking between me and Carlisle. Now it was his turn to be confused.

"Bella? No one said anything about you," he said, walking further into the room. A possessive growl rumbled from me. I didn't want anyone near my mate, knowing how vulnerable she had been feeling. They hadn't come and helped her when she needed it most, while Jasper tortured me and left her to wallow in her misery and anguish.

"Yeah, that's why he sighed and got up. Why the hell am I here?" she yelled.

"Punkin', I sighed and got up because I realized my gift hasn't been workin' right lately. No one is talking about you behind your back." I sat down next to her to offer her a reassuring arm. Her cheeks blazoned and she shoved her face into my chest with something that sounded like an "oh".

"I know this isn't the time, but we just got a call from Jacob Black. He's looking for Charlie and Bella." Carlisle continued into the room until he was standing at the side of the bed in front of us.

"I told him we couldn't help him. That we haven't heard from _Isabella_ since we moved. The others were mad that I lied to him, since he is a Black. I couldn't very well tell him the truth though, since Peter… Well since Peter 'took care of the issue' there, they may see it as us breaking the treaty. Bella, what do you know of the wolves?"

Well now, that had me curious. Wolves? What wolves? Treaty? Ah fuck, here we go down the rabbit hole again. Suddenly, images of Rose screaming for white roses to be painted red, Emmett bouncin' around dressed as Tweedle Dumb, and Alice running around looking for white gloves yelling she's late ran through my head. Yeah, it didn't matter what ridiculous fairy tale you compared them to, they fit.

"Peter, you okay?" Bella asked, waving her hand in front of my face. Wow, I really did zone out on that one.

"What treaty? What wolves? What does this have to do with Bella?" I asked just a few of the questions swirling in my head as I looked at her, wondering if she knew the answers. Her only answer was a light shoulder shrug before she turned her attention back to Carlisle.

I held my hand up to stop Carlisle before he began speaking and he looked at me quizzically, especially since I'm the moron that just asked three questions.

"You know what…how important is this, Carlisle? You told him you haven't seen Bella. You put them off, they aren't expecting an answer, and we've had a really crappy day. Can this shit wait a day or two?" We both looked at Bella who looked like she was ready to pass out. "She needs rest," I emphasized, nodding towards her. She was so out of it, she either didn't even hear me or she just didn't care.

He nodded, answering, "It'll keep. I guess there isn't anything we can do about it anyhow."

I let out a sigh I didn't know I had as he exited the room. Where the fuck was Jasper, anyhow?

"Jazz?" I called out, not sure which of the fucker's personalities I was gonna get.

He appeared in the doorway immediately. "You rang?" he asked in a deep voice, doing his best Lurch impression.*

"You're an ass, just so ya know. Now help her sleep." I moved to one side of her and spooned her against my body, making sure I had skin contact as I felt large doses of sleepiness and exhaustion filter through me. She never said a word and was asleep in seconds. It honestly felt good to feel it through my body, almost like I could sleep.

All too soon Jasper began pulling it back; she was asleep, and only if she stirred again would he intervene. "Thanks, Jazz," I said, huggin' her body just a little tighter. "For everything," I added begrudgingly.

"I know you don't wanna deal with the wolves, but it may be best if we give some explanation. They went through a lot of trouble to find us, Pete. I don't think they're gonna give up lookin' for 'em."

"I don't know anything about any of this." I glared at him and he chuckled menacingly. The Major was back, but I can't say I noticed when the change occurred.

With a sigh he explained what the wolves were, the treaty with the wolves, and that a vamp wasn't allowed to bite a human. I just grinned continually because I never did bite Charlie. Sure, I made him suffer and bleed, but I didn't violate _their_ treaty. Nor was I a part of it. He nodded, understanding my grin but never actually acknowledging it.

"They sought us out to see if we could help find Charlie and Bella. They are worried Charlie has done something to her." He paused, letting that sink in, and I growled. Bella began to stir and her heart rate began to pick up. Suddenly, I felt very sleepy. Realizing Major was helping to keep Bella under, I snuggled close to her, wishing for just one night of sleep. One night, when my expansive fuckin' brain could shut the hell up and rest. One night, when I could just hold my girl and wake up feeling her body next to mine, knowing she'll feel similarly when she awakens.

I nuzzled into her neck and began kissing it before I knew what I was doing, lulling myself into a state of calm, peaceful, bliss. Of course, Major pulled back his fuckin' mojo and I was wide awake again with a small groan. I glared at him once again because that seems to be what I'm good at these days. Stupid fucker just sat there with a grin.

"I don't think she'd appreciate you molesting her in her sleep," he said and then a gloomy look came over his face.

"I do the same thing all the time," I whispered, looking longingly at her. I just wished she was okay.

"I say stupid shit like that too, but usually it's _to_ her." I looked at him, hoping he'd fuckin' understand. He just nodded.

"I guess we all say stuff like that, only we don't normally realize what it could mean to others. I know I'm careful not to say that stuff around Rose and Emmett. I guess the same is true about saying it around you and Bella now, too." His eyebrows crunched together like he was thinking about something before he just shook it off and looked back at me.

"Back to the wolves…" I groaned again, cutting him off. I didn't want them to know anything. I didn't need any shape-shifting fuckin' tail waggin' assholes around here sniffin' my crotch.

"Carlisle told them we didn't know anything, can't we leave it at that?" I asked grumpily.

"No, they wanted to know if we had heard from Bella. But, they also wanted to know if we'd help look for them. Carlisle said he'd give it some thought, talk to the rest of the family, and get back to them. I know if Bella allows it, and she will, you will change her. So it's possible she's gonna show up all vamped out, and then we'll be in trouble with them. Trouble we don't fuckin' need, Peter."

"Oh come on, Major. You can't seriously tell me you are nervous about dealin' with some pint sized pups?" I poked fun.

"They aren't pint sized, Peter. They're horse sized and they're just as fast and as strong as we are. It's not like huntin' the local wildlife. They think and they are technically human. It would create a war if we were to attack them."

Bella slept through the night and I was happiest when Major would send his mojo to keep her asleep. As soon as she'd start to stir, he'd send some cocktail that damn near knocked my fuckin' ass unconscious. I wished it could. I was just happy to hold her while she slept. Knowing he'd never have to hold her close again was enough to make my fuckin' day.

Bella surprised us all when she woke up smiling. She had such a bad day the day before that, smiling didn't seem like a realistic option, especially for her.

After her breakfast and shower, she went upstairs and I didn't think anything of it until she came down 20 min later with a duffle bag.

"What ya doin', doll?" I asked, walking over to her.

"What I should have done months ago and don't try to stop me. You're all nuts. I don't need any of you." And with that my angel walked out the door. I looked dumbly around the room before rushing after her as she walked down the driveway. Not having a car of her own came in handy at the moment, she couldn't just drive off.

I was shocked when I saw Major pull up next to her on his stupid fuckin' blue crotch rocket. His jacket, gloves, and helmet in place shielding him from the sun. He held a hand out to her and she quickly hopped onto the back of the bike at the end of the driveway and they were off. My fuckin' world just flew out of sight.

I was immediately on lockdown, frozen in time and space. If I moved I'd destroy any-fuckin'-thing in my path to get to them and that meant Major would probably destroy me. It also meant that Bella would probably get hurt in the process; stupid fuckin' human.

A weird noise surrounded me as I thought about how her soft little body was pressed against his, about where her fuckin' hands could wander as she held on to him. I wanted to look around and see what was making that grating, groaning sound but I didn't dare move a fuckin' muscle. I was holding it together by only the most brittle of fuckin' hair strands known to man or vampire. And the first ones to feel my wrath would be the fuckers standing behind me.

The strange noise continued and was even gettin' louder as I was becoming more and more agitated. I heard Alice whisper that everyone needed to get inside quickly. As I turned towards the sound of her voice, I was in time to see the door shut.

A roar of anger left me and bounced around the yard, echoing indefinitely in my ears, but I noticed the grating noise was gone. I suddenly realized that noise was me. I didn't know what the fuck kind of noise that was, nor do I think I could even duplicate it.

I ran, barely holding onto my wits. I was doing my damndest to not black out and go on another killing spree. Not because it wouldn't be satisfying, and not because I cared about people that I might kill, and not because I feared exposure. No, I couldn't lose it because if I did, I _knew_ I'd go after Major and _I_ wouldn't survive.

It wasn't self-preservation that was keepin' me alive at this fucked up point in my , I don't think I wanna live anymore. It would be a mercy killin' for Major to take my life. But what I couldn't risk was my mate's life. She was too fragile, too breakable, too vulnerable, and too _weak_.

I punched a large Sycamore tree, knocking it down, and went to town clawing at it, creatin' splinters and saw dust with the speed of a jacked up saw on crack. When I held nothing but fuckin' toothpicks and dust, I moved on to another one, and then another, and then another. After about ten, I quit countin' and just kept destroyin', hopin' in the mean-fuckin'-time I could calm the fuck down enough to figure out what to do next. I really needed Major right now, but he was fuckin' playin' house with my mate somewhere!

More growling.

More roaring with unbridled anger.

Days.

Nights.

Sun.

Moon.

Lonely.

Sticks and stones.

Splinters and pebbles.

Ringing.

More ringing.

Ball of plastic, no more ringing.

Rain.

Sun.

Feeding.

Blood.

Woman.

Women.

Brunettes.

Strong.

Fighters.

Bella.

Roaring.

Anger.

Hate.

Mate.

Weak.

Weak.

Weak.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Abuse.

Blood.

Blood.

Wolves.

Treaty.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Buried.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Weak.

Lonely.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Brunette.

Doe Eyes.

Cops.

Volturi.

Major.

Anger.

Pain.

Despair.

Hopelessness.

Gone.

Mate.

Gone.

Bella.

Gone.

Bella gone.

Mate gone.

Major

Major mate.

Major with mate.

Major with Bella.

My Bella.

Major with my Bella.

Roaring.

Major stole my Bella. My mate. Mine!

"MINE!" I yelled into the nothingness.

Nothingness, that's what I am without her. I need her. Need Bella.

I slowly came back to my senses.

Slowly I began to realize I hadn't held onto my sanity as I had hoped to.

Once again, I was lost. I didn't know where I was or when it was.

I didn't know what I had been fuckin' doin'.

"FUCK!" I screamed.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!"

I looked around, tryin' to get my bearings. It was sunny. The area looked deserty, dry, definitely not fuckin' New England.

"FUCK!"

A one word vocabulary was all my brain could handle at the moment.

"FUCK!"

Okay, what do I know? I know I'm not in fuckin' New England. I know I didn't go after Major and my Bella or I'd be dead or at the very minimum, in pieces.

I didn't know what continent I was on, what state I was in, assuming I was still in North America. I was south, that much I knew. It was too warm and sunny to not be the south.

My throat was on fire, but that was nothing new. I suddenly felt very tired, even if it wasn't actually possible. I was fuckin' tired. I sunk to the ground, watching as the sun refracted off my skin sending rainbows in all directions.

What the fuck evolutionary necessity is sparkling good for? Attract all the fuckin' morons with A.D.O.S., attention-deficit-ooh-shiny? Fuckin' sparkly skin.

I slammed my hands into the dirt in front of me, creating mini craters. I briefly pondered going for a dig again, thinking back to my fuckin' gopher day when I was pissed as a porcupine with an ingrown quill at Rosalie. I wanted to blame her. It's her fault. If she hadn't gone to check on Bella, I would have found her on my own and I'd be far away from the fuckin' Cullens. From Major. I'd have my fuckin' mate. As weak as she might be, I can't deny she's my mate. I'll just have to deal with it.

I got up, dusted myself off, and formed a new plan. That's it, the next time I see her, ready or not I'm changing her. She's mine and I'm going to make her mine. Fuck this waiting shit. I began to jog north, looking for the nearest street, city, town, something. I knew I was in the south, so it was north I must go.

I finally found a road and began following it, sparkling my ass off I might add, but I didn't fuckin' care at the moment. My clothes were extremely dirty and worn. It looked like I had been gone for months wearing the same clothes. Months?

"FUCK!"

Finally, I found a town and wasn't happy with what I found. I was in China. No, not the country, the town, the town located in fuckin' Mexico! I was just south of Texas. But I was in China and it suddenly felt like I was on the other side of the world. My burrowing finally did it.

"Mother fucker!"

I stamped my way into some run down cantina and found two dirty old men. That was dinner. I fed on the disgusting filth and torched the run down cantina; it wasn't fit for humans to eat in anyhow.

I went in search of a working pay phone and when that didn't work I just walked into some lady's home and told her I was using her phone. She hid in the other room while I made my call.

"Where the fuck are you?"

"Well hello to you too, Major. Miss me?" I was being smugger on the phone than I felt. I was actually really mad at myself for my behavior. But I didn't want him to know that.

"Miss you? Miss you? You stupid son of a bitch, Bella is a mess. You think you can just leave your mate forever or what?" He was that eerie calm. That bone chilling, angry, eerie calm, which suddenly made me thankful that I was in Mexico.

"So does that mean you're ready to give me my mate back?" I couldn't help my prickish nature. I just couldn't. I knew I shouldn't talk to him like that but my mouth and my brain didn't work together.

"_Your mate, _is in the fuckin' hospital, asshole."

"Fuck!"

* * *

**AN: *Lurch was a character in the Adams Family television program; he looked a lot like Frankenstein's monster and had a very very deep voice. Google him if you need more info. **

**So what'd ya think? Peter lost it, Bella's in the hospital…speculations? How long was Peter gone? How long were Jasper and Bella gone? What did Carlisle do about the wolves in the meantime? Ohhh questions galore! LOL.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity for squeezing me in just returning from vacay and ForksPixie for beta'ing and trying to keep my tenses aligned LOL. **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Okay as many of you have heard or may have noticed. Broken Baby was pulled by FF. That changes nothing. It has been renamed and reposted as Daddy's Gonna Buy You A Mockingbird. If you see the name or run into the story it's the same story just a new name…nothing else was changed. **

_Previously in Chapter 10:_

"_Your mate, is in the fuckin' hospital, asshole."_

"_Fuck!"_

* * *

Chapter 11:

Peter's POV (always)

"What happened? Is she okay? Well, no she's not okay if she's in the fuckin' hospital…"

Luckily, he cut my rant off before it got too far gone, though my brain continued to reel around _what the fuck happened to Bella? _ I was pissed at her, but my heart still ached to be with her.

"Where are you?" he growled lowly. Shit, he's pissed.

"Mexico. China, Mexico."

"Asshole, you need to get up here and we don't have days to get you a passport. Run to Texas, go to the McAllen International Airport in McAllen and I'll have a flight chartered and waiting for you to bring you to Minnesota."

"Minnesota? Why the fuck are you in Minnesota?" Major sighed heavily at my question. I thought I'd be returning to New England not the Midwest. Fuck, I just wanted to run. This woman was bawlin' her head off, pleading with me, and cursing me in Spanish. She suspected what I was, and more to the point, she was driving me nuts with her pleading and cursin'.

"Asshole," he muttered, before actually answering my questions, knowing full well I could hear his mutterin' ass.

"She's at the Mayo Clinic here. She's been here for over a month, Peter."

Over a month? What the fuck!

"Fuck!" I yelled, scaring my next meal in the room and effectively shutting her up. Thank God for my anger.

"Yeah 'fuck', asshole. You've been gone for nearly 2 months, jackass. You tellin' me you just _now_ pulled your head out of your ass?"

"Listen, emo fucker, you're the one that took off with _my mate_. What was I supposed to do? Wait for you two to come back after your fuckin' rendezvous? Ya'll just take off with her tellin' me she doesn't want to have any-fuckin'-thing to do with ME!" I couldn't help yellin' at the end. I was pissed. This was not my fuckin' fault. If anything it was his. He was the fucker that rode off into the sunset with my girl!

"Yesss," he hissed. "You were supposed to wait, asshole. I took her because she was determined to leave and her heart was breaking. We went six miles, jackass. And we were gone four hours, long enough for me to talk her down. You've been gone seven weeks, Peter! Seven! She fuckin' lost it when we got back and you were gone. She knew she fucked up and was coming back to apologize. She wanted you to take her away from the Cullens and me. She wants to be with you, asshole and you just fuckin' disappeared.

"I could have followed you, since we weren't gone that long, but she was insane with rage and hurt. I couldn't leave her. By the time I decided to just knock her out, you were too far gone. But I went after you anyhow. I had to clean up your fuckin' messes as I went. You left a path of destruction from New England to North Carolina. Seriously, an uncharted tornado has been reported to have ripped through the Eastern seaboard and amazingly it did a ton of fuckin' damage although there were no witnesses.

"So after I finished cleaning up _that_ mess, I had to clean up the mess that used to be some small town in Oklahoma that you left. You murdered the whole fuckin' town, Peter. That shit ain't easy to clean up anymore. I had to create a gas leak under the town and blow the fucker sky high. At that point, I gave up on finding youand cleaning up after you, and decided to return to Bella. Volturi torchin' your ass be damned. I was thinking maybe they got you and nailed your ass to the wall. But Carlisle called them and they hadn't seen you, nor were there any suspicious activities reported in the southern states where you were last known to be.

"You called the Volturi?" I was struck dumb by the amount of information that Major just laid out there. Six miles. I went over 2000 miles and they only went six. I could have found them; I could have brought her back with me. She wants to be with me. Just the two of us. Or she did.

"No, fucker. Carlisle called looking for you. It was the only thing that was going to help Bella. He wondered if they picked you up. He was discrete and didn't mention Bella. But you need to get your ass here, now!"

"Does she still want me, Major?" I had to know. No matter how much it hurt.

"She won't leave the fuckin' hospital man. You just need to get here. I can't even explain the shit that went on. Unless you don't want to come back?" he goaded.

"I'm on my way," I said with finality as I hung up the phone. I took care of the noisy bitch in the corner. Stupid squealing bitch left me feeling quite sloshy. With great trepidation I made my way to the airport and got on the flight Jasper had chartered for me. I was conflicted between wanting to be with my mate and not wanting to deal with any shit that was going on. But I truly hoped she was okay. I still didn't know what was going on.

As I pulled my rental Ford Focus into a parking spot at the hospital- I know! That's all they had at the rental company, I groaned, for both the stupid fuckin' blue car and the scene that was about to unfold. I had at least taken a few minutes to purchase some new clothing and have a much needed bath. I was carrying enough dirt on me that my ass could have been confused for a fuckin' dump truck.

The hospital gave off that creepy hospital feeling, almost like the one way door at the dog pound. People were going in but you knew they weren't coming out. That eerie fuckin' feeling was only coupled with the stench of death, decay, and drugs - heavy duty drugs. Sure, there were healthy people in there too but the smell of years of illness and death lingered heavily in the walls.

I went to the registration desk. "I'm lookin' for a Gabriella Dove," I asked politely, turning on the charm. The thirty-something receptionist studied me for a moment before turning to type a few things on her computer.

"Are you family?" she asked.

"Her m…boyfriend," I spluttered. I wanted to say mate, but that would just sound weird to a human, right?

"I'm sorry, sir. I cannot confirm if she is here or not if you have no legal relationship." She really did look sorry…and turned on. Fuck.

"Julie," I started, reading her name tag. "I can tell you're a good girl," I cooed at her. "I already know she's here, I just need to know where to find her. Let the nurses on her floor deal with me. My brother is there with her, he'll get me in to see her. I'm the one she's been asking for. Trust me." I gave her a panty dropping smile and fluttered my eyes a little, while I made sure to get close enough leaning over the counter that my sweet breath covered her face. I saw her eyes flutter just a little and knew I was in.

As I walked to the nurses' station on Bella's floor, I took in my surroundings. It was white and sterile looking, but there was a large iron door going into the actual area where they kept the patients. I strode confidently over to the nurse who looked up at me as I walked into the waiting area.

"I'm here to see Gabriella Dove. I'm her husband," I said, not making the same mistake twice. The old bag glared at me and typed a few things on the computer.

"I'm sorry, no visitors, by request of the patient," she said with a smirk. She enjoyed telling me that my "wife" didn't want to see me.

"She'll want to see me, trust me. Just ask her," I said more forcefully than I should have. I couldn't help it though; the old fart was pissing me the fuck off. She should be turning herself into soylent green* or some shit by now, she was that old. Her little old lady glasses were barely sitting on the end of her nose, with that fuckin' chain that I just wanted to wrap around her neck and throttle her with. Her blue hair and wrinkly ass face was set in amusement as she denied me again.

Maybe I have an anger problem, but this old hen isn't gonna live to tell the fuckin' tale.

I whipped out my phone and called Major; where the fuck was he anyhow?

"Where the fuck are you?" I asked before he even had a chance to say anything.

He chuckled evilly; the fucker knew I was being turned away and he was laughing at me.

"I'm outside. We can't get in. Come down and I'll tell you what happened."

I ran my sparkly ass as fast as I 'humanly' could outside; we were just lucky it was an overcast day today.

"Well?" I asked as I sat next to him on a rather dirty picnic bench.

"She went nuts when we returned and found you were gone. I kept her calm but every time I tried to leave her she started ripping at her chest and skin and pulling on her hair. She caused some major damage that way over the first week. Carlisle placed a call looking for you, I was cleaning up your fuckin' messes and when I returned, Carlisle had hospitalized her. She told them everything. She told them we were vampires, that we killed her father, that her father raped her, that we kidnapped her, that her real name was Isabella Swan. Everything, man."

I stared wide-eyed at the man I called brother wondering what the hell this meant for us. Speechless and gaping like a blow-up-fuck-doll, I finally nodded for him to continue.

"She went on and on. Eventually, they told Carlisle she was too sick for them to keep at the regular hospital and that she needed some major help. They recommended a place in Boston but they were full up, so they got her a room here. Since she has gone in, she just mumbles about vampires but won't actually talk to anyone. They have to keep her either strapped down or sedated because she'll hurt herself if they don't. She is completely lucid but she plays them to keep me away. She doesn't want to see anyone."

"To keep you away? Where are the others?" I asked, not really caring but finding it hard to believe they just left her here.

"They are in New Hampshire. I came with her since I have no ties to them. Emmett has come out a couple of times but we can't get to her. They have cameras and she specifically is under 24 hour suicide watch, which means someone is always nearby. I sit out here every day and she watches me from that window." He pointed to one and I saw her sitting there, surveying us.

I gasped at how sickly she looked again. Our eyes met, well I think she could see mine, but there was no change in her as she watched us. I took a closer look at her and noticed lots of scratch marks on her face and hands. If I could have puked, I would have, knowing that she did that to herself.

"What do we do?" I asked in a choking voice, literally feeling as though I was being strangled.

"Well, now that you are here I'm hoping the pain in her chest will ease enough…" he paused to glare at me. "…that she'll want to see one of us," he finished. I didn't care; I was too focused on her. If we weren't sitting in the front of this building and if it wasn't highly populated, I would have been scaling the wall to get to her. I would put that idea on the back burner, maybe for later that night.

"Let's go back in and see if her doctor will let me talk to her?" I suggested. I was willing to kill everyone in this fuckin' hospital if I had to, but Iwould certainly try reason first.

Major shook his head. "Won't work. Give her time to see you here, know that you are here for her."

"Then leave, because I'm not here for you, fucker," I growled, turning longing eyes towards my mate. What have I done?

"No, I won't let you push me away. She needs one of us to stay sane, Peter. And your track record right now sucks."

"So why isn't the loving fuckin' family here?" I asked with a sneer. I was glad they weren't, but if they thought I'd bring her back to them, they were more nuckin' futs than I thought.

"The weather mostly; it does get pretty sunny here. But it seems they've decided…" he paused to gauge my reaction.

"Go on," I urge.

"Stay calm." He waited and I waited.

"They've decided she's not worth all this trouble," he said as he doused me with lethargy and calm.

I still managed to get a small growl out but he prevented the roar of rage.

"Emmett still loves her and wants to help. Rosalie is against it. Carlisle and Esme are worried she is going to expose us somehow. Edward feels bad and wants to help but he's going along with what Alice says her visions are, and that is that they aren't a part of _our_ coven."

I was too pissed to talk normally, so I spoke to Major at vampire speed and with a vampire growl . "Those hypocritical bastards. Things get tough and they run away. Rosalie said she was going to be by her side forever, not that Bella knows that, but fuckin' hypocrites!"

I had a lot to process so I spent the rest of the day sitting with Major and watching the beautiful broken girl in the window. The only calming thing was the pull in my chest no longer ached. Since I had been 'unconscious' for so long, I really only felt the pull and ache over the last few hours, but Bella, my Bella had been feeling it for weeks. I just thought she didn't want mewhen she left with Jasper. I should have known he'd never take my mate from me. He's been trying to help her almost since the beginning and he'd never do anything to hurt me, if he didn't have to.

I felt remorse and regret flood through me and I saw Major nod in acceptance. He forgave me but his eyes immediately went to Bella. Would she forgive me? I forgive her, right? After all she's the one that left. She's the one who said she didn't want to have anything to do with me. She's also the one who got herself locked in a loony bin. This felt like some bad fuckin' movie, where the girl goes to the hospital and guy waits patiently and she gets better and they live happily ever after. Yeah, I want my happily ever after, but I'm not going to wait.

With renewed determination, I got up and made my way back into the hospital. Methuselah's grandmother was still at her station with her smug fuckin' grin, slightly shaking her head. Only I had a whole new tactic. I marched up to the desk, leaned over into her face and growled, "I want to see her doctor, now!"

The old witch was stunned and scared shitless momentarily, and I glared at her as I pulled myself back. A shiver ran through her body as her old heart raced and she finally came to her senses. "Y-y-yes, sir," she stuttered, barely more than a whisper. She picked up the phone and made the call as I stood and smugly stared at her.

Major soon joined me, shakin' his head as he looked at the terrified old bat in front of me. "You could have scared her to death," he whispered with sarcasm. Yeah, I doubt either of us would have been sad to see her go.

"Who said I wasn't tryin'?" I mocked and his evil chuckle filled the quiet room.

"Mr. Whitlock?" A man's voice boomed from behind us as we heard the heavy door clang shut behind him. Major got up and faced the man at once.

"Dr. Lawson, nice to see you again," he greeted and extended his hand in gesture, but the doc just eyed it warily. Major smirked and lowered it slowly, very slowly. I raised an eyebrow at the interaction but said nothing.

The doc turned and faced me. "And you are?" he asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Peter Whitlock, doc. Nice to meet ya," I said, tossing my hand out. The doc eyed it too.

"I'm sorry Mr. Whitlock but Miss Dove does not want visitors," he said with finality as he turned to leave.

I grabbed his shoulder. "She wants to see me. I'm the one that can get her out of here. She's playing you all because she's mad at me." He glanced at the hand on his shoulder and I didn't remove it. I wasn't playing Polite Petey today.

Locked in some silent staring contest, I held him until he sighed. "I cannot let you in Mr. Whitlock. It's family only first of all…"

"I'm her husband," I said venomously.

"Oh?" He looked at Major and eyed me skeptically.

"Yes, we were married a few weeks ago but I had to go out of town on business and she got mad. I just got back. It was unavoidable. I'm here to take her home. You are allowing her to play these games and spend my money on unnecessary healthcare. I am not a…what is she calling me this time, Jasper?" I asked turning towards Major.

His evil chuckle made the doc shudder under my hand as he answered, "vampire."

I turned back to the doc. "I'm not a vampire, werewolf, or any other mythical creature. She is not some kidnap victim from Washington D.C…"

Major cleared his throat and interrupted, "State, Washington State." I glared at him like I was mad but sent him my happiness that he was playing along.

"State. She is Gabriella Dove-Whitlock. She has way too much fuckin' time and money on her hands and throws hissy fits when she doesn't get what she wants. I didn't come back right away because that's what she wanted. I have a business to run and she knows that. She is a spoiled little brat and I'm sorry she's wasted your time. I think it's horrible she tried to take on the identity of some missing school girl because she was angry with me, but it's time to put a stop to this nonsense. She has a home and a family and fuckin' personality disorder, but she is not insane." I glared at the doctor as I finished my tirade, trying to make it look like I'm serious, telling the truth, and instilling just a little fear so that he doesn't want to deal with me.

He gulped and looked at Major. "Mr. Whitlock why did you not inform me of this sooner?"

"Because she was going to play this game until he came home. I told him I'd watch her and that's what I'm doing. My father, however, doesn't understand the games she plays and he went overboard having her committed like this. He is a doctor also and thought he was doing the right thing. She was playing into it. Who were you going to believe? The doctor and the crazy girl or the lone man with no proof and no husband to prove the truth? I just watched out for her like I normally do, a body guard of sorts, if you will, until my brother returned home. When he got back to the states, he came straight here and here we are." Major was a genius. He was sending this guy happy, gooey, trusting feelings, and I was going to get Bella out shortly, I _knew _it.

"Very well. Mr. Whitlock, will you come with me to see your wife?" Doc asked. I nodded in agreement and then nodded my silent thanks to Major, who gave me a smirk in return.

I followed doc back to Bella and when I entered her room she wasted no time in running to me and leaping into my arms as soon as she recognized me. Finally, home. With her in my arms, I was home. I had to rock back on my heels to cushion her as she collided into me and appear human since the doc was standing right there.

"Ready to go home now, doll?" I asked, nuzzling her hair, trying to keep my purr on the inaudible level.

She began crying and nodding into my chest. I turned to the doc and he actually looked shocked. I knew I was lying. I don't think he did but I also _knew_ that if I could get her in my arms, she'd be fine.

"Doc, how about those discharge papers?" I asked.

He dumbly nodded and walked out of the room without a second glance. I nuzzled Bella a few minutes longer and then asked her to get her stuff together. She was in regular clothes so I assumed she had a bag or something.

I set her down and she moved around the room sniffling and pulling clothes out of a couple drawers and a closet. "They have my bag," she said timidly, still not looking at me.

"Be right back, okay?" I asked her and her head shot up, fear plain in her eyes. I hated seeing her like this. Whatever my problems were, I hated seeing her like this and right at the moment she mattered more. I stepped towards the door and her heart skipped a beat. I held up a finger and leaned out the door. "Can we get her bag?" I yelled loudly down the hall and heard a few people jump, squeak, and move around because I had disrupted the silence.

We got her packed and we got the hell out of there.

Major had his stuff at a cheap motel, totally unsuitable for my woman, so he went and got his stuff and Bella and I took my rental Focus to a nice hotel not too far from the Mall of America. It was a bit of a drive to get there but not too bad. We held hands the entire time and said nothing. She sniffled, tears still streaming down her face. I knew we had to have this conversation but I wanted us to be comfortable when we did.

I checked us in and got Major his own room. I wouldn't be sharing Bella anytime soon.

We got into the room and I rounded on her. I pushed her up against the closed door and kissed her hard. She squeaked and tried to push me away but I was ignoring her protests. I needed this, I needed her. I growled at her, but that didn't seem to change her mind and her squeals increased around my lips.

Major was suddenly banging on the door and I went into overdrive. "Mine," I growled and with that I sunk my teeth in the soft flesh of her neck, marking her as mine. She screamed frantically, hitting me and pushing on me, while Jasper pounded on the door we were up against. He couldn't break it down for risk of hurting her I imagine, but my brain didn't think about that. My brain only thought one thing, "Mine!"

When I was satisfied she had enough venom in her to start the change I pulled us both away from the door and Major burst through looking feral. I held her limp body to mine and snarled at him in warning. "Mine," I said again.

"Shit," Major replied.

* * *

**A/N: *soylent green is a 1970s movie and in the movie it's a wafer that was produced by the Soylent company to help feed people in the future as all food was in short supply due to too many people in the world. At a certain age people were supposed to turn themselves in to reduce the population. The owner of the Soylent Company used this to his advantage to make people into food. The movie was originally based of a book called **_**Make Room! Make Room! **_**by Harry Harrison. **

**Special thanks to Glee68 for coining the term "brain-snap" for Peter and letting me use it. *giggles* Thanks, doll!**

**I rarely recommend anything but if you love a sexy Texan Jasper…and of course, who doesn't?...then check out "Finished Product" by Mortissues it's complete and already has a sequel…which I'm loving too. So drop in, tell her I sent ya, and leave her some love. You can find it in my favorites! Don't forget to leave me some love on your way out though. ;) **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Excuses: you don't really want them I know. I'm sorry this took me so long to get done. Expect longer delays in the future as well. If this is a pain and you want me to just PM you when the story is done let me know and I'll keep a list. I know it gets annoying when people don't update regularly or abandon stories. Just know that I will never abandon a story. Even if it kills me I'll see it through. **

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and dealing with my whiny ass! **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**The Story So Far… Peter saved Bella from a sexually abusive Charlie while she was comatose only to bring her to the Cullen's home where she woke up from her selective state after Carlisle gave her a shot. Bella stayed aloof from the rest of the family, Peter's temper has him running from the home constantly and blacking out. Peter claims Bella is his mate, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Carlisel, & Esme disagreed. Edward agrees with Peter. Bella isn't sure but she knows she feels best to be with him & eventually admits she loves him. Peter tries to take her on a date and he gets arrested, he never tries again but eventually loses it when Bella runs off with Jasper and tells him she wants nothing to do with him. When he regains his senses he finds she's in a mental hospital and Major is watching over her, the Cullen's having dumped her there. Peter gets her out brings her to a hotel and begins to attack her sexually against the door. Major tries to stop him and he went from claiming his mate sexually to biting her to change her. And now on with the story!**

* * *

_Previously in Chapter 11:_

_When I was satisfied she had enough venom in her to start the change I pulled us both away from the door and Major burst through looking feral. I held her limp body to mine and snarled at him in warning. "Mine," I said again._

"_Shit," Major replied._

Chapter 12

Peter's POV (always)

Bella's limp body convulsed in my arms as a blood curdling scream tore through the hotel. I couldn't be bothered by her noises; they were expected, but there was another male threatening me and my mate.

"MINE!" I roared at him, hugging her twitching body against my cold frame.

Major ignored my snarls and growls, stepped over the broken door, and then picked it up, putting it back in place the best he could, never actually taken his eyes off me.

"We don't have time for this shit," he mumbled as he turned to face me full on.

I felt the firey fuckin' pain of the changing burn and I crumbled to the ground with my wet noodle of a mate in my arms and a snarl still on my lips. I hugged her 'Raggedy Anne' body closer and heard some popping noises. She screamed violently, but I was incapacitated and couldn't protect her, all I could do was hold on to her while _we burned_.

"Peter, you just broke her ribs. Give her to me. We need to get out of this hotel." He held his arms out and began walking slowly towards us. I was trying to understand what he said, but he was a threat, we were in pain, and he wanted _my_ mate. He can't have her.

"Mine," I growled the best I could with clenched teeth.

"Okay." He held his hands up in surrender and the pain began to recede slowly from my body just like it did the first fuckin' time I burned. My growls remained constant. He was male and my mate and I were vulnerable.

"Peter, are you with me? Peter? We are in a hotel with Bella changing into a newborn. We need to get out of here." I had to think for a while about the words being said. My mate was trembling and twitching in my arms, groaning and whimpering, but the screams weren't coming like they normally do.

I finally began to feel like myself again; I dared to take my eyes from Major to focus on the woman I held too tightly to me. I was scared, trembling with fear at what I would find in my arms. I knew she was alive but would she stay that way? Did I squeeze her so much that she was going to die because I couldn't keep myself under control?

I gently released my hold and Bella began to flop a lot more, gasping for breath and whimpering.

"Peter?" Major was in front of me, suddenly and crouching down so he could look at us both.

"Major?" I questioned, still unsure of what was going on. I hated these fuckin' blackouts. At least this last one was short, but it also resulted in me changing Bella.

Bella. I looked down at her writhing form.

"You broke her ribs and I'm guessing punctured a lung," Major whispered, trying to soften the blow of his words. It didn't work; I still cringed knowing I hurt her, a lot.

"The good news is, because you did that, she can't scream. We need to get her out of this hotel before she's healed enough to scream though. Plus, the door is broken and I'm not sure how to explain that one. It's getting late. We'll wait the hour until dark and leave using the stairs. I'll get my truck and we'll leave your rental car here. The hotel can return it for you." He was in military mode, planning and scheming, which was what we needed right then because I wasn't fully there.

My blackouts take their toll on me. My uncontrolled rage has always been a weakness, but I know Maria found it useful. She honestly didn't care who I took out as long as her enemy was defeated. Most people knew the two vampires you never cross were me and Major. Major had better control of his demon though. I never did. I never remember what I've done, which is one reason I never wanted control. Jasper nearly killed himself knowing what Major had done. His dual personality was the result of years of death, destruction, and torment. Me? Well, on one hand, I didn't have the pleasure of a dual personality; I had the pleasure of memory loss. On the other hand, I had no control over what I did. I am truly an animal, a beast that runs on base instinct and my instinct is to eradicate anything in my way. Men, women, children, pets, wildlife, inanimate objects, nothing could stop me and I didn't care what I had to do to get through them.

I thought about what Major had said, how he cleaned up after me, again. He followed me for over a thousand miles, cleaning up my messes. That was my downfall, my indiscretion, and the thing that was going to bring the Volturi down on me, if I couldn't learn to control it. I took out a whole town. I hung my head in shame.

"We'll make it to Emmett's place in Tennessee by morning if we drive all night," Major continued planning and making phone calls. I continued my fuckin' self-loathing and holdin' my mate.

What was I going to do? She was going to be pissed. I was nearly ready to rape her when we came into this room and then Major set off my mating instincts even further. I didn't even give a second thought about changing her. Fuckin' Major- this wouldn't have happened if he would have minded his own fuckin' business. I wouldn't have bitten her. On the other hand, I have no idea what I would have done to her. Maybe biting her was the better option?

"Fuck!" I yelled a little too loudly and the woman in my arms whimpered, still gasping for air. Major, with the phone to his ear, shook his head at me feeling I'm sure my self-hatred, anger, fear, and a fuck-ton of other shit I really didn't want to deal with.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Bella, I love you. I'm sorry. Bella. Bella. I love you. I'm sorry. I'm here. You're going to be okay," I began muttering a litany of apologies and love over and over again, stroking her sweaty hair, until Major said it was time to go.

I vaguely watched as Major went to the bedroom and I heard some ripping noises before he returned with a strip from what I was guessing was the sheets or pillow case and a washcloth. He approached us cautiously but continued despite my growls.

"This has to be done, Peter. We don't know when she'll get her air back and we can't have people trying to help the screaming girl."

I looked down at Bella in my arms, taking in her broken body, her panting breaths and whispering pain. I did the only thing I could think of. I nodded and turned my head away. I knew he was right but I really didn't want to participate. I felt her struggle a little as I sensed his closeness. He was quick and when I looked back my girl was sufficiently gagged and Major was gone.

Her breathing was still labored and I was worried about how much damage I actually caused to her frail little body, but I didn't have time to think about that as I glided down the stairs and headed for the parking garage where Major waited with his truck. I slid into the backseat cradling Bella in my lap and Major was off before I even got the door shut all the way.

"Fucker, be careful! She's already sporting broken bones. The extra second for me to close the door wouldn't have made a difference," I groused. He just chuckled evilly and continued on silently.

Eventually, I pulled the strip of fabric that was holding the washcloth in Bella's mouth off and pulled the wash cloth out. She took a breath and let loose an ear piercing screech.

"Fuckin' Hell, Peter! Warn a dude!" Jasper yelled as he pulled off to the side of the road. Our ears were ringing because our sensitive hearing made it that much worse and in the cab of the truck the sound just echoed off the glass and metal, making it even louder.

"Gag the bitch! We can't draw attention you moron!" he spoke angrily, turning around to stare at me from the depths of Hell with his crimson eyes. I narrowed mine at him for calling Bella a bitch but I quickly shoved the washcloth back in her mouth and grazed a finger on one of her teeth. It actually cut me. I affixed the fabric back around her head but this time I had to hold her hands in place to keep her from ripping it off.

She began struggling fiercely in my arms as I cooed and shushed her ineffectively and Major began driving again.

"A few more hours. Rose and Emmett are meeting us there. Emmett wants to see her and we have another issue to deal with." I was listening to Major but I wasn't responding. My only goal was to keep Bella safe and as comfortable as possible, seeing that she was shoved in the backseat of Major's fuckin' pick-up truck, resting on my marble legs, being held down in a vice grip to keep her from hurting herself or the truck, while she burned to death, slowly. Yep, for her this was about as fuckin' comfy as lying on a bed of needles with a boulder on her chest, while being skewered and roasted like a pig on a spit.

I really wasn't paying attention to anything Major was saying until I heard, "…Carlisle called the wolves."

"WHAT?" I yelled a bit more loudly than I meant to

"I said, we are going to have trouble because Carlisle called the wolves." Fucker knew I wasn't listening.

"Okay, so what? Why do we care?" I really didn't care.

He sighed, "Peter, you need to pay attention, this shit is important. I know you are worried about Bella and what's gonna happen when she wakes up, but in the mean time, we need to plan. The wolves will be coming after us when they find out that you changed Bella. Especially when they find that it was against her will. Fuck! Man you nearly raped her against that door! I'm not sure which is worse at this point. Either way, it wasn't her fuckin' choice!" Yeah, maybe I deserved that. He was yelling at me by the time he finished and I agreed.

I always thought she was the weak one but when it came down to it, I think maybe I am.

"Fuck the self-loathing shit, Peter. We need to figure this out."

"Why did Carlisle call them? It's none of their business. Why did you tell him I changed her?"

He cut me off, "Hold up! I did not tell them you changed her. Carlisle called them yesterday before you even returned. He told them what you did…"

"WHAT?" Yep meant to yell that time.

"He didn't know you'd be back. He'd given you up for dead by the Volturi when he found out about the destruction you were causing. He also told them what Charlie did to Bella. They didn't believe him of course, and thought that he was just tryin' to cover up your tracks, giving you a reason to do it. He was sending them to get Bella in the hospital. He figured she might get better if she was with them. Edward, I guess, threw a fit and Alice and Rosalie didn't care. Emmett wanted to get Bella for himself and Carlisle, well that chicken shit was just trying to save his own neck. I'm not sure what was going on with Esme. I don't think she was home when this was all going down."

Well fuck me with a fork.

"So Carlisle thought he could just _give_ my _mate_ to someone else because he didn't want to deal with her anymore? He knew you were with her, right? Why did he call them? He created trouble for us, Major. He didn't have to call them at all. If he didn't care about her, he could have left her in that hospital to rot. So why the wolves, knowing you were with her?" The more I thought about it, the more I knew was fuckin' right.

Major never answered, but we both knew Carlisle set him up to take the fall. They would attack the lone vampire standing guard over the human. They would attack him because he had red eyes and because Charlie was dead. Charlie was murdered by a vampire, his brother, if they bothered to make that distinction at all. They would attack him because they didn't believe the stories they were told and they would _assume_ he wouldn't be a problem because it was just one lone vampire.

If Major was gone, the Cullens had no one else to fear. Bella would be with the wolves and the Cullens wouldn't have to care for her anymore, and they already assumed I was dead and gone or would be soon. Major never said anything but I knew he was working out this same scenario on his own. It was a set up. And if I had to guess, based on what they've told me, the wolves would attack first and not worry about questions at all. Of course, now that Bella was changing, that was just one more 'evil' thing to add to their fuckin' shit list. Something I'm guessing, they didn't even know about. But I doubt it'd change the story or the desired outcome. I doubt it'd save any of us from goin' toe to paw with a bunch of fuckin' flea bags.

The rest of the ride was silent, save for the muffled whimpers and screams of the woman in my lap. I focused all my energy into memorizing her figure, her skin tone, her texture, her scent, everything that was slowly changing. Already there were noticeable differences in her. Her brown eyes, when opened, were beginning to swim with venom, creating a glowing red that intermingled with the chocolate I had gotten used to gazing into. Her skin was already paling as her body continued to die and her scent was changing from the freesias to a more rugged scent as her floral intermixed with my venom. She was going to be beautiful. Not that she wasn't before, but hopefully this emaciated look would go away. The venom had repaired the damage to her lungs and probably her bones, so it wouldn't be too long before the rest of her tissues and organs died and solidified. The burn was horrible beyond explanation but the worst was yet to come for my kitten. The hardening of the skin and tissues occur as the fire burns hotter, which is the last day of torture.

I admit this isn't how I wanted to change my mate, but I am hoping for the best. I am hoping she doesn't hate me when she wakes up. I was a fuckin' prick who took a life that should have been given willingly. I want to blame Major. He sent me into the fury of needing to claim my mate by pounding on the fuckin' door. But, I know in reality that I was already there. I was going to the hurt the only other person who truly meant anything to me besides Major and if I had done what I wanted, it would have been ten times worse, I'm sure.

"Thank you," I mumbled into the cab of the truck as we pulled up in from of Emmett's house. Emmett and Rose stood on the porch looking every bit like avenging angles, dressed in white designer clothes. Major briefly looked at me in the review mirror and gave an almost imperceptible nod as he parked the truck. He was still angry but we were good. We both played our part in the fuckery that occurred with my mate and I'm just glad he was there.

Emmett was wrenching the door open behind me before the truck was even at a complete stop and yanked me from the cab, my mate still firmly in my arms, as Rose appeared before me.

"Give her to me," she demanded, looking at me indicating this was not up for debate, yet I still begged to argue.

"She is not leavin' me until her change is done and she throws me out the fuckin' window." I glared at Rosalie and then looked over my shoulder to give the same look to the man who was holding me by the scruff of my neck, like a kid caught with his muddy fingers in the cookie jar.

"Let Rosie take her. We need to talk," Emmett stated as Major joined us from the truck.

"No," Major commanded. "We need to talk and he needs to care for his mate, like he should have been doin' since he found her." With that, he grabbed Emmett's arm, making him release me as the sting of his words settled into my frozen heart. I knew he was right. I've left her too many times in anger and I bit her against her will. I had royally fucked up this whole fuckin' non-relationship. And I had no idea what to expect from her when she woke up.

"No," Rosalie said as she moved closer to us and a growl escaped my lips. I knew she had felt protective of Bella once, but since Bella had woken up from her self-induced coma, they never got along. I honestly wasn't sure if she was friend or foe at this point. All I knew was she was too fuckin' close.

"What the hell is going on with the gag? You bit her and gagged her? What the hell, Peter?" she rambled, moving to touch my mate. I took two long steps backward, crushing her frame to me, and snarling loudly at the woman in front of me. Major's back suddenly appeared in front of me and even though I was wary of Rosalie, the sight of Major's back said not only did he trust me to not attack but he was defending me and my noises stopped immediately.

"Knock it off, Rosalie. He has already hurt her once because I was too close. The gag was to drown out some of the screams while we traveled. A girl screaming bloody murder in a car might attract some fuckin' attention," he finished in a growl and it was Rosalie's turn to take a step back.

"Let's get her into a cool tub of water," Emmett said rubbing his face as though he was tired. Fucker spent way too much fuckin' time with humans.

"Cool water?" Major asked as he turned to look at Emmett giving me a quick nod as he did so. That was an 'everything is going to be okay' nod and though it was difficult, I made myself relax while Bella tried to thrash in my arms like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day.

"Yeah, when I was burning the only thing I could think of was how I wished someone would have put me in some cool water." Rosalie cringed knowing it was her who didn't do that for him.

I was already in the house sniffing out the bathroom. I set Bella on the floor and started the tub. If it would make her comfortable at all, I'd do it. I just remember pain so intense I couldn't think around it. Emmett must be a pretty tough cookie to have any thoughts about what would make the change less painful. I undid Bella's gag and her screams tore through the house.

"NO!" Major roared and I immediately jumped to protect my mate, growling defensively while standing over her body. Her screams continued to tear through the quiet of the house echoing like a cartoon war cry that just didn't stop.

From the doorway, I saw Major blur to the top of the stairs and a very large Emmett crash into him. The sound of boulders colliding competed with Bella's scream that caused an eerie sound. Even though it was noisy at the moment the quiet was deafening. I snarled and roared, adding to the din in the home as Major brought Emmett to his knees, the body of my mate continuing to convulse and scream on the bathroom floor.

I couldn't understand why he was trying to attack us. Major finally let Emmett up after a couple of minutes and they both disappeared downstairs. I turned back just in time to stop the tub from over flowing and checked my mate for injuries instinctually. After letting some of the water back out, I began to undress my mate. A constant growl rumbled from my chest as a warning to those in the house.

I heard Major explain to Emmett that I just took the gag out and the screams were natural. Emmett seems to remember his change, but he's never seen anyone change. He thought I was hurting her, the moron. I did hurt her though. I did the worst thing possible. I attacked her, changed her against her will- murdered her. I just hope she doesn't see it that way when she's done.

I took my own clothes off and submerged us both into the cool water. There was no way Bella could stay in a tub by herself without hurting herself or the tub, depending on her strength. She immediately calmed some and was writhing in my grasp. Her body rubbing along my most sensitive parts immediately got me hard but I couldn't think about that now. I knew I was in a tub naked with a naked woman, whom I wanted more than anything but I could wait a couple more days.

Major continued to explain what it's like to watch the change to Emmett and also recommended that he stay downstairs for the duration. Rosalie at one point started to come up, for what I don't know, and caused another argument with Major. She argued that she had a right to see if I needed anything since we were in her house and she wanted to check on Bella. Major assured her I was fine and that interrupting a mated couple during the change should be glaringly obvious as a mistake.

"You don't know what it's like to be mated, Jas-per," Rosalie sneered. "So you don't know what Peter needs. Besides, who can say for sure if Bella really is his mate? She never felt for him what he feels for her. He obviously changed her against her will-"

"ENOUGH!" Emmett roared and Major snarled. "You'll not speak to our guest that way, Ros-alie," he sneered, mocking her. "You will not interfere with my baby sister's change. She's been through enough. Peter just got back and if he thinks he's her mate then he is. Make no mistake that he will tear you apart if you go up there and I'll let him. You've been too critical of Bella, of Peter, and of this whole situation from the beginning and it's time for you to shut up."

Silence.

Whimpers and screams. I snuggled Bella into my chest trying to limit her movement. For now, everything was as it should be.

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**AN: I normally don't rec myself but I found me doing it and I wondered why I thought I should. I came up with nothing, so I guess this is shameless self-serving bullsh*t…so here it goes:**

**If anyone is interested there are links to Banners for all my stories on my profile page and while you are there feel free to check out some of my other stories: **

"**The Devil Inside" is my personal favorite and a crazy AH Jasper fic which won two awards, Voter's Choice and Best Plot in the Love Bites contest by Jasper's Darlin's last year. **

"**Saving Bella" which is high drama and angst Jasper/Bella fic which won the "I Dream of Bella" category in Everything's Bigger in Texas awards last year and… **

"**bittersweetheart" which has not won any awards but is a somewhat gory Bella/Jasper O/S and has gotten some of the best reviews ever! **

* * *

****A True Mate's Heart (this story) has been nominated for an Avant Garde Award in the "Best Must Read" category. www (dot) avantgardeawards (dot) com **

*****Daddy's Gonna Buy You A Mocking Bird has been nominated for the Sunflower Awards "Best Charlie" (of all things, LOL) www(.)thesunflowerawards(.)blogspot(.)com**

**If you've read all those or just not interested check out some of my favorites or send me a PM and I'll see if I can rec something else. Thanks for the love and nominations here, there, and everywhere! **

_As many of you know review replies aren't working but I still love to read the reviews! Thanks for sticking with me through all of this._


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Excuses: you don't really want them I know. I'm sorry this took me so long to get done. But I moved…so things should settle down, somewhat.**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and dealing with my whiny ass! **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**The Story So Far… Peter saved Bella from a sexually abusive Charlie while she was comatose, only to bring her to the Cullen's home where she woke up from her selective state after Carlisle gave her a shot. Bella stayed aloof from the rest of the family, and Peter's temper has him running from the home constantly and blacking out. Peter claims Bella is his mate, but Jasper, Rose, Alice, Carlisle, & Esme disagree. Edward agrees with Peter. Bella isn't sure but she knows she feels best to be with him & eventually admits she loves him. Peter tries to take her on a date and he gets arrested. He never tries again but eventually loses it when Bella runs off with Jasper and tells him she wants nothing to do with him. When he regains his senses he finds she's in a mental hospital where Major is watching over her, the Cullen's having dumped her there. Peter gets her out, brings her to a hotel and begins to attack her sexually against the door. Major tries to stop him and he went from claiming his mate sexually to biting her to change her. The wolves are on their way, oh my! And now on with the story!**

_Previously in Chapter 12:_

_Whimpers and screams. I snuggled Bella into my chest trying to limit her movement. For now, everything was as it should be. _

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Chapter 13

Peter's POV (always)

Rosalie didn't say a fuckin' word for the rest of Bella's change.

In fact, Rosalie didn't say a word once Bella woke up. She was shutting Emmett out, probably because he said he'd let me hurt her. That was harsh, especially for Emmett. But Rosalie needed to be reminded of who wore the fuckin' pants in the family. I know it was Emmett 'cause his hand was always up her fuckin' skirt.

Emmett was here because he cared about Bella. He was letting us use his home for the same reason. Rosalie was here because Emmett was, plain and simple. I know she wanted to foster a relationship with my girl. But my girl didn't want a relationship with Rosalie.

I let my mind wander while her change finished. We stayed in the tub; the water was plenty cold due to my body temperature and the cool air in the room. Bella didn't seem much more comfortable, but I did hope it made a difference. Her screams tore through the house night and day, minute by minute. With every scream my guilt doubled, tripled, quadrupled. I'll have a fuckin' eternity to make it up to her if she lets me, and Ifelt like that was a big fuckin' if.

As Bella's heart fluttered and pounded its last beats, the others stepped outside. The volatility of a newborn could be unpredictable at best and the fewer people around, the better. She could do anything, remember everything or nothing at all. She could be and should be pissed as a bee stuck in a bear's ass on a hot summer day. I was the bear in the scenario and I wasn't stupid enough to think my ass wasn't gonna pay for my mistakes in the near future.

Bella gasped for air and grabbed at her chest one last time as her heart took the last painful beat it would ever know. Her eyes flew open and she squirmed to get away from me. The water was splashing about like a fuckin' tsunami crashing against the sides of the tub.

"Calm down, baby. It's okay. Calm down and I'll let you go. Relax, Bella. You're okay." I began a mantra of soothing words, letting her know I wasn't the enemy and I wasn't going to hurt her. She finally began to calm after a few minutes, although her breath was racing as her heart had just done. She didn't know she didn't need the air, though the air surely feels different in her lungs. She didn't need oxygen for her brain or organs since they're dead, she just needs it to make noise.

"What's going on? Where am I? Who are you? LET ME GO!" She was nearly hysterical but I knew I couldn't let her go. She couldn't run off, not until I was certain she knew what was going on.

"You're a vampire, sweetheart. I turned you. I'm Peter-"

She cut me off. "Peter? You're here?" she asked in what sounded like a hopeful tone. I tried to shuffle her body so she could see me, without releasing my grip on her.

"Yes," I said, releasing her and grabbing her face and smashing my lips to hers. Nothing else mattered for the next 10 minutes as I discovered the sweet taste of my mate and she got to discover me, kissing, and a whole new world through her heightened senses. Her hands roamed my chest, my arms, my face, my hair as she maneuvered herself to straddle me. Our naked sexes brushing against each other and my dick instantly became hard.

As she ground her soft cool body into mine searching for much needed friction I could feel the desperation in her kisses. I wanted to make her mine. I wanted to claim her body, as much as her love, her soul, everything. This didn't seem right though, it seemed so wrong. She should be mad, furious even.

"Bella," I said somewhat reluctantly as I moved her back just enough to put a bit of space between us.

"Mmmm?" she responded through a lust filled haze.

"Are you alright? Are you mad?" I asked, unsure if I wanted the answer, but honestly the waiting was fuckin' killing me.

"Mad?" she paused and considered if she should be mad. Her ruby eyes bore into mine with a gleam of love. The longer she stared into my eyes the more I wanted to claim her, to make her mine.

The pull to her was almost unbearable, even with her on my lap. I didn't breath, I didn't blink; I waited, waited for the verdict. My stone heart was caught in my throat; it was a solid lump with a severe burn all around it as my body reminded me of my hunger. I knew Bella must be feeling hungry also but I wasn't going to push her into a newborn rage if I could help it.

Finally, she shuffled a little bit and leaned in for another kiss. I held her tight and honestly sex wasn't on my mind this time. It was a fuckin' miracle to be sure, but I was just grateful. I was happy she was giving me this, us.

"I know, I should be mad," she began, "I'm just not sure why. I know I could ask you and you could tell me and then I could be mad, but it isn't going to change the fact that I love you, Peter. It isn't going to make me hate you. I feel now what you've felt all along. Love. I love you irrevocably and that's enough, for now." She had a wicked gleam in her eyes as she added, "for now". I wasn't sure what that meant but I'd take it. I'd take the forgiveness I didn't deserve, because I'm a greedy fucker.

Bella stood up and I finally got to see the beautiful vampire she had become. I gave her a once over, watching the water fall from her body, checking every curve, every line in her skin making sure she was perfect. She almost seemed a little too thin, but she didn't look unhealthy anymore. Her breasts were full and solid, her nipples pink and sticking out like gumdrops just waiting for the sugar to be sucked. I had a glorious view of her pussy and without a conscious thought I dove in.

I wrapped my hands around her waist and moved her so she was nearly sitting on my face. I attacked her bundle of nerves, knowin' this was my one chance. She'd either go for it or she'd freak out and I was willing to take the risk.

Seconds later as she moaned while I suckled and teased the most sensitive spot on her body, I knew she was mine. I reached down and tossed one of her legs over my shoulder and then repeated the process on the other side. She grabbed on to my hair a bit too tightly but I figured a distraction was good and immediately thrust two fingers into her dripping center. Her taste was divine but I wanted more. I tickled her nub with my tongue as I glided a hand up to caress her breasts, her body bouncing lightly on my fingers while her noises echoed against the bathroom walls.

"So beautiful," I murmured as I looked up at the beautiful woman I knew I was finally going to be able to claim as mine. I felt her walls beginning to tighten on my fingers and I increased my pace. "Cum for me, punkin'," I whispered, knowing she'd hear me.

With a look of awe and adoration she did as she was told, just like a good little newborn. She came and I massaged her clit gently helping her to ride out her orgasm. When she began to come down I stood as I slowly lowered her body down mine. When our sexes began to touch I arranged myself with one hand while holding her up with another. Her legs automatically became a vice grip around my waist. She was gonna need to learn some fuckin' strength control and quick like. I'm not a fruit and I don't fuckin' need to be squeezed like one. Now, if she wants a cream filling, I'll happily oblige, no squeezing necessary just some gentle rubbing.

"Loosen your legs a little, sweetheart," I asked as I licked her neck, massaging my bite mark with my tongue. She did as I asked and began to purr just as I dropped her on to my waiting, throbbing cock. It'd been so long and she was so tight I almost came in her like a teenager. Guess I shoulda gone slower. I also didn't think about the fact that she was technically a virgin and she screamed bloody murder like I was splitting her in fuckin' two. A part of my brain wanted to be smug and say, yep, split her good, but I also knew I had just hurt my mate and that knowledge made me want to split into tons of little fuckin' pieces.

Before I could even think about how to apologize, three scared vampires burst through the bathroom door. Major in the lead yelling, "What happened?"

I held her firmly while she roared at them because of their surprise and her pain. She squirmed and fought me, trying to get at them while I yelled, "GET OUT!"

Rosalie left immediately; Emmett's glare at us was pointed towards where we were connected. He seemed to be oblivious to the raging newborn in my arms. She yanked and pulled and clawed at me, which really fuckin' hurt. There were going to be marks from that one and certainly not for the reason I anticipated.

"I can't calm her down," Major stated, like I hadn't just asked the fucker to leave.

"LEAVE. NOW!" I roared while I turned and slammed Bella into the tile trying to gain some leverage to keep her pinned. I was losing this battle and quickly. I didn't like having my back to the others but I had to quickly convince myself they wouldn't hurt me and I needed to do something to hang on to my wet, enraged female stuck on my cock. I briefly feared her taking off with it.

I knew they must have left as she began to calm down and I started stroking her hair lovingly, whispering reassurances in her ear, "You're doin' great, darlin'. You're okay. I love you. Relax, calm down, everythin's gonna be fine. We're alone now. They aren't gonna hurt ya," and on, and on, and on. It took me 45 minutes to calm her down and although my cock remained in her the whole time, I can't say I was enjoying it at all.

Bella's pussy and body had dried up and it almost felt as though I was stuck inside her. She was a newborn and prone to emotional outbursts, so I just held onto her. She needed to feed, we both did. But I wasn't sure what to do about our current predicament.

I figured I was going to have to finish us both off, so when she began purring and loosened her grip on me, I began nuzzling her ear and neck and licking at my mark. I could feel it begin to work as her body responded and I didn't feel like my dick was stuck in a blender waiting for someone to hit the puree button. Not to mention I had the fuckin' early 1990's "detachable penis" song running through my head the entire time. That song fuckin' sucks!

I love my brain most times, being able to think about several things at once and process things quickly was a good thing, but when fucked up stupid ass songs get stuck in my head like that I just wanna blow my head off with a missile or something. Fuckin' vampire brain.

Focusing back on my Bella, I moved a hand down to caress her breasts as I moved my mouth over to envelope her in a kiss. It was soft and sweet, not the heavy needy kisses we shared when she woke up. I still needed to get her fed but we both had a more immediate need. Well at least I did, and I was sure she'd be thankful I was so fuckin' considerate after she got her needs met, too.

I tested my stuck cock by moving a little. She was still somewhat dry but that was changing and I moved my hand from the wall down to her clit, keeping her firmly seated against the wall of the shower with the rest of my body. Not that she needed my help. I had a pole in her helping keep her up and her legs were probably doing a lot of the work. Control, we needed to work on strength control. It wasn't unbearable though, so I continued with little jabs with my cock, feeling her tight walls massaging me like a fuckin' pro.

I leaned down and ran my tongue over her collar bones and glided it along her neck. I wanted a taste of those gumdrops, but at this angle it wasn't easy. I backed us leisurely out of the bathroom and looked around quickly. I hadn't really paid attention to where I was going when I first got here.

"First door on the left," Rosalie's voice floated up from downstairs.

I didn't respond, only made my way to the room with the most beautiful woman still stuck on my cock and purring into my neck, seemingly unaware of everything going on around her. The bed was made up with a burgundy comforter sporting gray leaves at the bottom of it. It seemed girly but would do the job. I laid Bella back and her cherry colored eyes stared at me in wonderment as her legs remained tightly around my hips. Her hair was splayed daintily across the bed and she was beautiful.

I smiled at her and got a smile in return. I laid my body over hers without putting any weight onto her and began to move inside her, my hands tracing her body for the first time as I leaned back on my knees, still wanting to enjoy the visual that was my woman. She was giving herself to me and I fuckin' loved it. After memorizing her curves with my fingertips I set about doing it with my tongue. I caressed and traced her form lovingly for another 20 minutes or so. I pulled out of her easily and she looked bit upset until she saw that I wasn't stopping.

I moved my lips and tongue over her breasts and down to her navel. I swirled my tongue in it and was pleasantly surprised to find she was real fuckin' sensitive right there. I continued to torture her lovingly as I watched her purr and writhe under my ministrations.

My hand and lips made their way to her core and I opened her up with my fingers. "Bella?" I requested and her eyes snapped to me. I smiled warmly and then keeping my eyes on hers I leaned in and got my second taste of my mate's essence. She wasn't very wet but there was enough and her eyes widened as she watched. Her elbows came under her and she sat herself up on them while she watched, entranced, as my tongue continued to learn her inside and out.

I purred and licked and sucked and purred and growled, and ohh the growling she liked. I added a finger into her center and felt around for the spot that would make her see heaven. It took a minute but I found it and she bucked and her eyes widened in shock quickly before hooding with desire. I kept steady pressure on that spot and suckled her clit relentlessly until she flopped back and roared with her orgasm. Now, that's my girl.

I fingered her while her walls fluttered around my single digit and when the fluttering began to slow, I moved back up and placed my cock back into its happy home. It thanked me briefly before we focused back on Bella, who was again panting like she couldn't catch her breath. I wanted to chuckle but thought better of it. I gently pumped into her and her purring returned while her eyes stayed closed. She was warm and soft and moist and I never wanted to stop.

Suddenly, a burst of lust made it to us and I picked up the pace, fucking her harder than I ever intended while she began growling and clawing at me until I pinned her arms above her head. I knew I wasn't hurting her that much but the need to claim her was now the only thing on my mind and I pounded into her relentlessly. There was no complaining until I came hard as I stilled in her and yelled, "MAJOR!"

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**A/N: Well it's short...but ohh so sweet *giggles* Pixie, has requested Peter for 45 min of her own...how about you?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Excuses: As I've said before "Even if it kills me, I'll see it through." Sorry this took waaay too fuckin' long. All I can say, is I'm now a home owner and moved into it Thank you to everyone who sticks with me through this delay. I'm hoping I won't be as bad now. **

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and dealing with my long lost ass! **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**The Story So Far… Peter saved Bella from a sexually abusive Charlie while she was comatose only to bring her to the Cullen's home where she woke up from her selective state after Carlisle gave her a shot. Bella stayed aloof from the rest of the family, Peter's temper has him running from the home constantly and blacking out. Peter claims Bella was his mate, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Carlisle, & Esme disagreed. Edward agrees with Peter. Bella isn't sure but she knows she feels best to be with him & eventually admits she loves him. Peter tries to take her on a date and he gets arrested, he never tries again but eventually loses it when Bella runs off with Jasper and tells him she wants nothing to do with him. When he regains his senses he finds she's in a mental hospital and Major was watching over her, the Cullen's having dumped her there. Peter gets her out brings her to a hotel and begins to attack her sexually against the door. Major tries to stop him and he went from claiming his mate sexually to biting her to change her. The wolves are on their way, oh my! And now on with the story!**

**Thanks to all who reviewed, if you didn't get a response it's because your PMs are disabled and the system wouldn't let me respond. But I still thank you and read and respond to every single one I can!**

_Previously in Chapter 13:_

_Suddenly, a burst of lust made it to us and I picked up the pace, fucking her harder than I ever intended while she began growling and clawing at me until I pinned her arms above her head. I knew I wasn't hurting her that much but the need to claim her was now the only thing on my mind and I pounded into her relentlessly. There was no complaining until I came hard as I stilled in her and yelled, "MAJOR!"_

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Chapter 14

Peter's POV (always)

My fuckin' anger always gets the best of me. Bella would have been surprisingly happy with our coupling had I not yelled out Major's name in anger. He shouldn't have interfered. He should have let me take my mate slow and lovingly like I fuckin' wanted. But, he's an inpatient prick who knew we both needed to hunt and I'm sure a part of him wanted to see Bella, they all did. I just didn't want her first memory of us together to be worse than what it was up to that point, and instead of goin' with the flow of emotions Major sent to us, I got fuckin' angry.

So here I sit, across from my mate wonderin' what my fuckin' punishment will be like a fuckin' little kid. Not that I don't deserve more, but yeah June Cleaver was here scolding The Beav.

I ran off in anger as soon as Bella and I finished. I was goin' for Major and I hit the front porch, naked as a fuckin' jay bird tryin' to tackle his ass to the ground. Major easily threw me off and pinned my naked fuckin' ass into the dirt. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew I shouldn't have left Bella but again, my anger was in control.

Suddenly, Major flew off of me, a naked Bella attached to his body and her teeth embedded in his shoulder. He roared in pain and anger and stood up with the newborn Bella still wrapped tightly around him. Her instinct was to bite, not rip and shred. He walked back over to me as I made it to my feet.

"Get her off of me before I dismember her, asshole!" he ordered as he turned sideways, presenting me with my naked mate. A growl escaped my lips as I approached her because her naked form was wrapped around another man. I knew it wasn't in love or even lust, but that didn't mean she didn't reek of sex and arousal.

"Come here, lil bird. It's okay, he's okay, he's not hurting either of us," I murmured, trying to calm her as I rubbed her back and stroked her hair. I moved a hand to try to move one of her legs off of Major and she jerked her head. The metallic sound of tearing vampire flesh resounded through the forest just for a second as Major growled out the pain and reached back, punching her in the face to dislodge her. Emmett and Rosalie stood silently in the background, gasping as his fist connected with her face.

It was my turn to snarl at him as Bella instinctively let go and dropped to a hunting crouch in front of him growling and drooling, like a feral fuckin' princess. I tried to maneuver her behind me as Major raised an eyebrow, darin' me to fuckin' say or do somethin'. I needed to get Bella fed and he nodded as my emotions changed to concern for my mate. Without another word, I grabbed her and silently backed into the house so we could dress. Major started tending to his wound using his own venom to try and minimize the scarring. Serves the bastard right though, for interrupting my first time with my woman. It shouldn't have been that way. It was our first time and there had already been so much drama and then the incident with Major. I glanced at my mate as I silently helped her dress while she licked my neck and purred like a kitten.

I did take her to hunt, the old fashioned way. The closer we got to people, the more uncontrolled she became, typical fuckin' newborn. I held her at bay while leading her to a human; if I let her go she'd have just tore him to shreds and not got a fuckin' thing from him. I was too hungry to ignore the blood so as soon as she pierced one side, I was leaning over her greedily seeking out another side of his neck. We shared four people before we were sated enough to return to Emmett's home. It wasn't too far out there but far enough that the seclusion provided the privacy we needed for the screaming, temper tantrums of a newborn.

She did that when we returned, totaling "our" bedroom and the clothes that had been picked up for her. She was frustrated with the strength thing and she was just… well… newborn.

Bella was my heart and soul and that she so willingly accepted me was unbelievable. She had very vague memories of her past and really only recognized people, remaining thoroughly unsure of events. There was a silent agreement among all of us that she wouldn't be told about Charlie. Why put someone through that, knowing they'll remember it forever?

My problem was even though she didn't remember, I did. I knew what happened between us, with her father, with the Cullens, and that the wolves were certainly gonna find us, eventually.

She decided that my punishment was going to be a month without sex. I wasn't too worried though; she'd need to get off sooner than that and Major certainly owed me one in that department. Plus, she was a newborn. There were some advantages. Sure, the constant mood shifts and changing their minds could certainly be a fuckin' pain but there were …ummm… bonuses. I smirked with that thought. Yeah, I'd get a bonus for sure, despite my punishment for my role in ruining our first time together.

We found a comfortable routine over the next couple of weeks and Rosalie did her best to get on Bella's good side. Bella was much more accepting this time around and Rosalie and Emmett couldn't have been happier. As for me? Well Rosalie isn't my favorite person and I'd just as soon prefer it if she stayed the fuck away from my mate, but I held my tongue.

As for my month punishment, it lasted all of 4 hours. I knew I wasn't worried.

"Peter?" Bella was waving her hand in front of my face. Wonder how long she was doing that? "Where were you?" she asked, snuggling into my lap.

I looked around the living room and wondered myself '_where was I? Oh, I remember I was thinking about the bastard that defiled my punkin.'_

I gave a sheepish grin and shrugged my shoulders. I didn't want to tell her the truth. I didn't want her to have to deal with that shit all over again, and I truthfully wished I could forget the whole fuckin' thing.

I have Bella; she's perfect in every way and there was no way in hell I am gonna fuck this up. I wrapped my arms around my beautiful woman and held her close.

"I'm sorry, punkin. I guess I just got distracted," I murmured into her hair, taking in a whiff of her and her newly improved scent. God, I love this fuckin' woman! She was fine for a second after I spoke but then stiffened. I waited to see if it was gonna be another fuckin' newborn emo swing. Since Major's gift didn't work on my lil firecracker, we had to do things the old fashioned way. Someone was always nearby to help in case she had a fuckin' outburst, just waitin' in the wings for somethin' to go down.

I didn't want to set her off, and I was hoping she was tryin' to git control of herself. I held her still form for about 10 minutes before I began to wonder what was goin' on in that pretty lil head o' hers.

"Bella?" I asked quietly, tryin' to keep the peace. She was a newborn and I understood, or at least I was tryin' to understand. Usually, my interaction with newborns was to train them for fightin' and make sure they didn' kill each other. Havin' one as a fuckin' mate was a whole new fuckin' experience. I can't just beat her up or remove body parts. This newborn I give a shit about.

"You okay, punkin?" I tried again.

"Distracted," she replied in a monotone.

I rotated her so I could look at her and sure enough she was gone. The bat in her belfry had checked out on fuckin' vacation.

"Yoo hoo!" I waved my hand in front of her, calling her name over and over again. She finally snapped out of it and gave me a sad look.

"Edward," she whispered.

I immediately connected the two. Edward had called her nothing more than a distraction at one point. Shit.

"Bella?" I asked, hoping she'd give me more to go on. "He left me. I remember; he was awful. I can see it, hear it, feel it, like it just happened. It hurts so much, Peter. But, I love you. I don't understand."

"Bella?" Major asked as he walked in. "You okay, darlin'?"

"She remembered Edward leaving her," I said, quickly filling him in on the situation. He looked sad and gripping her chin lightly, he turned her head to face him.

"You got a rotten deal with him, darlin'. You have your forever now, with Peter. He's the one that'll always be there for you." He kissed her forehead and smiled. "Get over it already. That was another lifetime." And there was the Major we all know and love.

I chuckled and hugged Bella to me. "He's right, doll. Don' let that memory tear ya down. It was nothin' and Edward apologized for it. He was the only one to support us…" I stopped. Fuck, had I said too much?

Bella looked at me quizzically. "Support us? What do you mean?"

I looked to Major for help, but he just shook his head and retreated back into the shadows. He was no fuckin' help.

"Uhhh… Well… That is… When you and I mated while you were still human, the Cullens weren't very supportive. They wanted you with Edward. He was the only one to agree with me that we were mates at first. Eventually though, they all came around. No big deal, just took a little convincin'." I gave her an award winning smile and she returned it.

If I'm honest, I hated fuckin' lying to her, but does she really need the heart ache? No. No one does. And it worries me that she was able to so vividly remember that incident from her human days.

"So where is everyone else? Why aren't they all here?" she asked. Damn fine question. Fuck!

"Well, I was gonna have ta tell ya sooner or later, doll. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice… well we don' really have much to do with them. Major hates Alice and well, Carlisle called the wolves to come and get you while you were in the hospital. They're sure to track us here eventually and I'm sure they aren't gonna be happy when they find out you've been changed." There I said it, the abridged version anyhow. Just call me Webster.

She stared at me briefly with her eyes squinted, I assume trying to remember somethin', anything.

"So, what happens when the wolves get here? Who are the wolves, anyhow? And why was I in the hospital, Peter? " Damn, she really did have no memory.

"They're fuckin' parasites that we just need to rid ourselves of, that's who," said Major as he conveniently returned to the room, thankfully avoiding the second half of her question. Guess he wanted to be a part of this fuckin' conversation.

"Kill them? But why? Why do they care that I've been changed?" Again she paused and looked deep in thought.

The next thing I knew Bella's hand was finishing its sharp path across my face. "You attacked me!" she said loudly.

"Yup," Major chuckled.

I did my best fish impression for a moment, tryin' to decide if I should apologize or what. I guess I waited too long because her hand came back the other way across my other cheek. It stung; my newborn still needed to learn to control her strength. Okay, it really fuckin' hurt and my brains felt like they were rattlin' around inside my head.

And again before I could respond, Major was tacklin' her to the ground as she began her latest newborn hissy fit. The coffee table was no more at this point and I was immediately wrestlin' Major to get off my woman!

"Fine!" he yelled stormin' out and leaving me to deal with-

"Owwww! Fuck!" I pulled her jaw down, removing her teeth from my arm. Well, that shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," I griped as I continued to pin the thrashing and overly strong Bella to the ground. "Fuckin' newborn," I muttered and I didn't care if she heard me. She needed to get a serious grip. I really wanted to turn her over my knee.

Major's chuckles floated from upstairs and I mentally gave him the finger since I wasn't capable of much more just then.

The days went by quickly and every day was the day I thought the wolves would come knocking at our door. I strategically learned to dodge Bella's questions by distracting her with information from my past, from well any past really, since she's a fuckin' history nut. I think she figures that we'll eventually get to her history. Not if I have anything to do with it though.

Rosalie and Bella were gettin' along well and I'm glad she had that friendship, but I really didn't like Rosalie. I took to hanging out with Emmett most of the time when those two were together and though Major was always lurking in the shadows like a fuckin' vampire, he's still around, never showin' up unless needed, never puttin' his two cents in unless he wanted to, and never really acknowledgin' the rest of us in the house. I couldn't quite figure out what his deal was. He was not actin' normal and he just smirked when anyone asked about his odd behaviors. I even went so far as to accuse him of bein' in love with a glory hole somewhere in the house, though we never actually heard him take care of that particular need either.

We hadn't heard from any of the Cullens and as far as I knew Emmett and Rosalie just told them they were goin' on a vacation. So they didn't even know Bella had been changed, wasn't in the hospital, or-

Major's phone rang as I sat musing about the situation we were all in while I was stroking my mate's hair, listening to her purr. It was one of those terrific moments where Bella was in what I call "needy mode". It wasn't a normal newborn thing; she needed to constantly be reassured of my love for her. I'm worried this might be something left over from her human life, but I was sure as hell not openin' that fuckin' can of worms. I'd rather go fishin' with a twinkie and those things freak me the fuck out.

The phone call was Carlisle checking to see how Bella was doing in the hospital. Really? I _know_ he's just diggin' for details, probably our location and I whispered as much to Major. He acknowledged me and continued with the conversation.

"Sorry, Carlisle. You're tryin' to send the wolves to us and it's just not gonna work. I'm sure the Volturi will be interested to hear you've turned on your own kind and are workin' with our sworn enemy," Major sneered and hung up the phone.

"Volturi?" Bella asked. "What's that?" I watched as her eyes glossed over, much like the freaky small fry that Jasper married, and waited for her to return. We all stared at each other, wonderin' what was goin' on. I had a fuckin' clue though and it worried me every fuckin' time this happened. With it came perfect recall from her human life. She knew about the Volturi as a human? I was puzzled and waited patiently.

"Oh," she finally said and looked around the room. "The vampire royalty. They enforce the law to keep our kind a secret," she said in a monotone as if she was repeating what she heard in the conversation before her eyes finally settled on me and my Bella settled back into herself. That was the only way to describe it. It was freaky and wrong and I'm not sure what to think about it other than it almost like she was having an out of body experience or some weird fuckin' thing.

"Yes, that's who they are and what they do. How do you know that, sweetheart?" I was puzzled and rubbed her arm gently, trying to get her lovely purr back. When she purred all was right in the world, it's the only noise I ever wanna hear.

"Edward told me once, before my birthday. He said he'd go to them and beg for death if he ever lost me." She jumped and looked around. "Is he okay? Is he with them?" She was nearly hysterical and I began licking along her neck and purring for her as Emmett answered her questions.

"He's fine, Bells. He's still with Carlisle, or at least he was when we left last month. He's even a little bit happier after having known you and now knowing you have Peter. He's just fine, no worries." He grinned and wrapped an arm around Rosalie.

Major's head whipped towards the door as he let loose a snarl. I couldn't smell anyone but I could certainly hear the car coming down the gravel road, our gravel road. I wrapped my arms securely around Bella since we didn't know what to expect and Major led the other three to the door to investigate.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Story Recs: **

**New Life by levi-blessing can be found in my favorites and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I have. It's a J/B (need I say more?) It's a great love story with mating, Peter & Char, and Maria? She needs some serious lovin', so leave your review here and then head on over there.**

**Bound in Blood by Sushi loves Whitlock which is also J/B starts out dark and becomes a great love story with a wicked undertone of death, Volturi, and crime. Also found in my faves, let her know I sent ya ;) **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**I been gone *kneels before you* I beg your most humble apology.**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity and ForksPixie for beta'ing and brainwashing…I mean storming! Damn I'll get it right eventually. Brainstorming this chapter to help alleviate my writer's block. **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Reviews: Thanks to all who reviewed, I totally failed on the review replies this time around and I apologize. I sorry! I'll try to do better if you review this chapter and let me know I didn't lose you as a reader, I am sorry for my long absence. **

**The Story So Far… Peter saved Bella from a sexually abusive Charlie while she was comatose only to bring her to the Cullen's home where she woke up from her selective state after Carlisle gave her a shot. Bella stayed aloof from the rest of the family, Peter's temper has him running from the home constantly and blacking out. Peter claims Bella is his mate, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Carlisle, & Esme disagreed. Edward agrees with Peter. Bella isn't sure but she knows she feels best to be with him & eventually admits she loves him. Jasper eventually lets the Major in him take over and dumps Alice. Peter tries to take her on a date and he gets arrested, he never tries again but eventually loses it when Bella runs off with Major in anger and tells him she wants nothing to do with him. When he regains his senses he finds she's in a mental hospital and Major is watching over her, the Cullen's having dumped her there. Peter gets her out brings her to a hotel and begins to attack her sexually against the door. Major tries to stop him and he went from claiming his mate sexually to biting her to change her. The wolves are on their way. The trio meets Emmett and Rose in Tennessee at a home they have there where Bella will awaken from her change. Peter and Bella have sex in the tub when she wakes up and no one is happy that Peter did that or that he keeps trying to protect Bella. In a struggle Bella bites Major. The families are divided and Major threatens the Cullens with the Volturi, oh my! And now on with the story!**

**If you have other questions never hesitate to ask! I'll always try to answer even if it's not the answer you want ;)**

_Previously in Chapter 14:_

_Major's head whipped towards the door as he let loose a snarl. I couldn't smell anyone but I could certainly hear the car coming down the gravel road, our gravel road. I wrapped my arms securely around Bella since we didn't know what to expect and Major led the other two to the door to investigate. _

* * *

Chapter 15

Peter's POV (always)

"Who is it?" Bella asked, cocking her head to the side as she listened. I know she picked up on the heartbeats in the car the same time I did. She leaned forward trying to scent the air for our guests.

"Come on," I said pulling her the other way. "We'll let the others handle it."

"I want to stay," she growled. Her hunger was taking over due to the sounds of human heartbeats.

"She's getting hungry." I didn't need Major telling me that. His smirk over his shoulder told me he felt my irritation.

A plain black car pulled up and two government looking officials came to the door. It was comical to see the black suits, white shirts, shined shoes, and dark sunglasses. Even through the sunglasses we could see they were afraid. Their fear fueled Bella's need to feed and a growl rumbled low on her lips. If I wasn't so worried about who these guys were, why they were here, and what would happen if they went missing, I would have let her have her fun.

"We're looking for Mr. Emmett Cullen," the taller of the two men stated hesitantly. All eyes shot to Emmett, who was clearly surprised.

"That's me," he answered tentatively.

The smaller man held an envelope out to Emmett and he took it, giving it a look like it was going to chomp off his hand.

"You've been served," replied the small one as they stepped back and returned hastily to their car.

What the fuck? The FBI, CIA, fuckin' government official lookin' guys were nothin' but fuckin' process servers? "Damn," I muttered with a slight chuckle as I began to release my hold on my mate.

"What the hell is that, Emmett?" Major asked, nearly pushing Rose out of the way to get a good look. Emmett shrugged his shoulders and began to slowly open the envelope. Seriously, you'd think he was worried about a paper cut or Anthrax or something.

"You should have let me eat them," Bella huffed and we all chuckled, the mood lightening considerably.

"I'll take you hunting in a minute, sweetpea." I wrapped my arms around her waist lovingly and rested my head on her shoulder, not needing to lean on her, but just wanting to feel my body connecting with hers.

"Well?" Major prompted as Emmett looked over the piece of paper in puzzlement.

"I'm being sued."

Rosalie ripped the paper from his gentle grasp and managed to get it in one piece. "We know that," she spat out, rolling her eyes.

"He's being sued for hospital bills totaling $231,897.68 related to one Gabriella Dove's medical care while she was at the Mayo Clinic." Her eyes went wide as she looked at us and then back to Emmett.

"Fuck me," Emmett uttered, stunned silent.

"He's dead," Major growled as his body turned from that of a relaxed man to one of a predator. His shoulders hunched and his muscles tensed in anticipation of a fight, as a rumble that no man, woman, or child would want to hear vibrated from his whole body. He would have been an awesome sight on some freaky vamp television show, where they had fangs and hung out by pools during the day but at the moment, he was murderous. His onyx eyes glazed over as he planned his battle.

My mate began to shake in my arms a second before I felt his rage and hate pour into me. It was difficult to stay upright and my body responded like Bella's. Emmett and Rosalie were not as used to this feeling and fell like dead barracudas to the ground with a moan. Just as my mind began to process that Bella could feel him, the feeling left me suddenly.

I looked to Major to find he hadn't changed. There was no movement, no sound other than the death rumble emanating from him, and the two Cullens were still on the floor. I gave a curious glance around as Bella looked up and smiled – a frightened smile.

I returned it, immediately realizing she was shielding us. This was new. I wanted to be giddy but didn't dare, given the circumstances. I nodded my head towards Em and Rosalie and she narrowed her eyes in concentration. The feelings flooded back into us momentarily and we groaned loudly before they disappeared again. A soft, "Oops," left Bella's lips. I nodded and hugged her tight, letting her know it was okay.

"Try again," I whispered as soft as I could. It wasn't soft enough and Major's head whipped in our direction.

"Try what?" he growled and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at us.

"Nothin', Major." I tried not to sound freaked out, but I knew he'd kill us all if he lost control and I didn't know how much control he had.

"I'm fine, you idiot," he responded. I wasn't sure if that meant that he could feel my hesitancy or what. Emmett and Rosalie were still writhing on the floor. I nodded towards them, indicating things weren't fine.

"Oh," he uttered, before the two quit trying to polish the carpet with their clothes on.

They panted for unneeded breath; just because we don't need it to pump blood through our body doesn't mean we don't feel a need for it. I really think it's a left over human habit most vamps outgrow, but the vegetarian ones who are always trying to play human, those that tend to suckle fuckin' bunnies, also tend to breathe like fuckin' babies. They slowly stood, but didn't comment on the situation in order to avoid Major's wrath at being called out on his _momentary loss of control. _

"I'll just pay the bill. I think I have enough for it. No reason to go mental, Major." Emmett was trying to ease Major's mind, a mind that didn't need easing. He wasn't pissed about the money, hell neither was I. He was pissed that Carlisle made Emmett responsible for Bella and Emmett didn't even know it.

I reached for the bill in Rosalie's hand. "I'll take care of it." Rosalie handed it over willingly and Bella just seemed confused… not confused, having a flashback. Shit.

We stared at her, wondering how long this was going to last and what was going to happen next. Silently, we watched and waited while Major just rolled his eyes and left the room. He's always lurking in the shadows and I just don't know what to make of it.

"Oh," Bella squeaked as she returned to us thirty eight minutes later.

"You okay, Bells?" Emmett asked and I turned her to face me, raising my eyebrows at her, silently asking the same question.

"Umm," she paused and appeared frightened. I released my hold on her, knowing she might bolt and she did. Even worse was the wall that she ran through to get away. Major was instantly on her in the yard.

"Can't keep your pets from destroyin' things, I see," he drawled, nodding towards the hole in the side of the house. "And you can't seem to keep 'em leashed, neither," he added as he pulled Bella up by her neck. I was terrified for her, both for what she remembered and for being in his grasp.

"Give her here," I snarled the best I could and held my hands out for my mate. He laughed. He felt the false bravado. Asshole.

He tossed her to me like a rag doll and she scrambled to me, then realized what she was doing, and tried to scramble away from me. She was a cat on a hot tin roof. I held her firmly, willing to do anything to make sure she stayed out of Major's grasp.

"Shh. Shh. Calm down, sweetpea. You're fine, we're not gonna hurt ya. What'd ya see, Bella?" I tried to purr for her, but I just wasn't feeling it and it came out more like a growl which she didn't seem to appreciate. Her struggles finally calmed.

"Everything," she whispered.

I froze. I knew what that meant. She knew. She knew about Charlie about, well, as she said everything. I hung my head, wishing I didn't have to have this conversation with her.

"Are you, okay?" I asked hesitantly, knowing that Major had melted back into the house. Emmett and Rose were standing nearby holding each other, knowing this was going to suck.

"Yep," Bella trilled like she wasn't having a nervous breakdown and I held her back to look in her face. It was calm. It didn't hold the fear or hate that it did as she tried to make her escape moments before. Even more so, my gift told me this wasn't going to be as hard as I originally thought.

"Bella?" I questioned, still disbelieving the situation.

"I am. I'm fine. Sorry I freaked out, newborn," she said, pointing to herself with a smirk.

I looked at Emmett and Rose who wore similar expressions of surprise and disbelief.

"Sweetheart, I'll answer any questions you have, anything you want to know. If you want to talk about it, we can go somewhere more private. Whatever you need." I hugged her to me, giving her my physical support.

She pulled away slightly. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I held her arm for safety as I let the rest of her go. She gave my hand a pointed look and then back at me. "I'm fine." I released her reluctantly.

"She is," Major added from somewhere in the house.

I didn't feel better for that, but I _knew_ she was fine. I was just still worried like a Leprechaun leaving his gold under a discolored rainbow. It seemed safe; it was a rainbow, but was it really?

"I guess I should explain," Bella started. She made her way back into the house and sat down. We followed suit and I noticed Major appear at the top of the stairs in the shadows. He was really starting to creep me out with this vampire shit.

"I remember my childhood, growing up, my neighbor molesting me, my mom running away with me. I remember-"

"What?" Emmett and I bellowed.

She glared at being interrupted. "I remember moving around with my mom, her having many boyfriends, some of whom had been or tried to be… inappropriate with me," she paused, checking to see if she was going to be interrupted again. I had no idea the shit she had gone through as a kid. Fuck!

"I remember wanting to move in with Charlie because Phil kept trying to come to my room at night, but luckily my mom had a lock on my door, since there had been problems in the past, and I barricaded myself in the room too, nightly. I remember falling in love with Edward. He was nice to me; he sheltered me and it's what I thought I wanted. I remember him leaving, breaking me; I remember that I knew I'd never love again." She gave me a sad smile. I couldn't function. I just kept on listening like a statue with a working brain and nothing else.

"I know Charlie did things to me too, but I only remember because I read his journal. I don't remember them happening. Well, I kind of do but I don't. I know he was sick, that he was perverted. It was how everything in my life went. Sick perverted men everywhere. I know you killed Charlie. I don't know how, and I don't care. I want to be alone." She turned and walked up the stairs, passing Major as though he wasn't there, and went into our room. The door shut and the only noises that could be heard were coming from the forest.

I knew she needed to be alone and I wasn't one to go against her wishes. I didn't know what she was doing, but at least the silence cued me into the fact that she was still there. There was no breaking glass, no opening windows, no crying, no anything, no sound, no movement, nothing. I was scared to move and break the spell.

Rose curled into Emmett and shuddered silently. I knew she wanted to cry, but wouldn't break the silence. Major and I stayed still, eventually locking eyes; his told a new story. He wasn't the callous Major we all saw. Her emotions, which he was obviously feeling, were killing him right now, but he did nothing about it. I allowed myself the thought that he loved her, but he knew he could never have her. And similarly, I knew I could never share her. She was mine, always and forever. I'm not sure where that left him, but I think I finally understood why he was always in the shadows. He was hiding his heartbreak, his desire to have the unobtainable. Though neither of us moved or spoke there was suddenly a silent understanding between us. He loved my mate and we were both going to have to deal with it.

Finally, hours later, I heard the shower turn on and that unfroze the families. I made my way to the discarded bill, to take care of it. Emmett and Rosalie mumbled something about hunting and left and Major, disappeared again into the darkness of the hallway. I called and paid the bill on my credit card, apologizing that they had the wrong person and therefore did not get their payment as expected. They were nice and I had no reason to be a dick, no matter much I wanted to be. I just didn't have it in me at that moment.

Bella masturbated as usual in the shower and I listened with bated breath as she called my name softly. I was happy for that. I was happy that it seemed like things were going to be okay. For a few moments I forgot all about the other shit that we still had to deal with in life.

* * *

**AN: I went against one beta's advice in how I wrote this chapter…sorry darlin'. That being said if you have a problem with it, I'm sure it's my fault. Let me know if you have questions, comments, suggestions, etc. After all I'm not a mind reader…*coughs* Edward.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Writer's block…GAH! I been gone *kneels before you* I beg your most humble apology, AGAIN!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity for beta'ing and cleaning up my messes. Thank you to Bella MacLeod and Purplecowfreak18 for just helping me to get my butt in gear! **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**Reviews: Thanks to all who reviewed, I missed a few on the review replies this time around and I apologize. I sorry! I'll try to do better if you review this chapter and let me know I didn't lose you as a reader. I am sorry for my long absence. **

**The Story So Far… Peter saved Bella from a sexually abusive Charlie while she was comatose only to bring her to the Cullen's home where she woke up from her selective state after Carlisle gave her a shot. Bella stayed aloof from the rest of the family, Peter's temper has him running from the home constantly and blacking out. Peter claims Bella is his mate, but Jasper, Rose, Alice, Carlisle, & Esme disagreed. Edward agrees with Peter. Bella isn't sure but she knows she feels best to be with him & eventually admits she loves him. Jasper eventually lets the Major in him take over and dumps Alice. Peter tries to take Bella on a date and he gets arrested. He never tries again but eventually loses it when Bella runs off with Major in anger and tells him she wants nothing to do with him. When he regains his senses he finds she's in a mental hospital and Major is watching over her, the Cullen's having dumped her there. Peter gets her out, brings her to a hotel, and begins to attack her sexually against the door. Major tries to stop him and he went from claiming his mate sexually to biting her to change her. The wolves are on their way. The trio meets Emmett and Rose in Tennessee at a home they have there where Bella will awaken from her change. Peter and Bella have sex in the tub when she wakes up and no one is happy that Peter did that or that he keeps trying to protect Bella. In a struggle Bella bites Major. The families are divided and Major threatens the Cullens with the Volturi, oh my! And now on with the story!**

**If you have other question never hesitate to ask! I'll always try to answer even if it's not the answer you want ;)**

_Previously in Chapter 14:_

_Bella masturbated as usual in the shower and I listened with bated breath as she called my name softly. I was happy for that. I was happy that it seemed like things were going to be okay. For a few moments I forgot all about the other shit that we still had to deal with in life. _

* * *

Chapter 15

Peter's POV (always)

Sometimes I've been wrong. Sometimes Major has been wrong. But fuck if my gift has ever been wrong and it was. It has been 4 months since Bella was changed and remembered everything. I knew she was going to be okay: Major said she was, she said she was, but reality was a bite in the ass the size of Texas. She wasn't fine. Since she had retreated to her room that fateful night, she had not come out. She masturbated in the shower, sometimes in bed, and other than that she ignored everyone.

We threatened her with loss of limb to get an answer at times, and it seemed to work. Most of the time she fed in her room when we brought her food. Of course, given the morality of Emmett and Rose and this being Emmett's home, he threw a bitch fit the first few times we brought humans back for Bella to feed on. Since she was being a pouty brat, we agreed to respect Emmett's wishes and began bringing her wild game. She would snap about every third day or so and feed even if she didn't want to because the heartbeat and smell called out to her. Her eyes had taken on an orangish hue that I didn't particularly care for.

I was getting tired of taking care of her. I didn't want to watch her try to sink back into her mind like she had when I found her. And that is what she was trying to do; it didn't take a genius to figure that out. She didn't want to have to deal with anything. She didn't feel, didn't think, and didn't _want_ to think anyway. She was a shell of herself. I'd rather have the crazy newborn than the lump on the bed. She was still crazy though, don't get me wrong. About once a week or so she'd throw a fit in the room and break things, growl, get tackled, and if she was lucky she'd get a bite in one of us before she was fully restrained by Major or myself.

We hadn't spoken with Carlisle or any of the family since Major threatened to call the Volturi on them, which was a good thing to do. I'm sure they wouldn't like to know that he admitted Bella into a hospital and left her there to rot with knowledge of us. I was almost at my snapping point, _again_, serving my mate her meals in her room and having very few one-sided discussions with her. I was getting sick of it. Rosalie just felt that she needed time to come to terms with everything. Personally, I think Rosalie is a taco short of a combo platter.

I finally snapped, like I knew I would one day, but I snapped with a realization also. I busted into Bella's room and by busted I mean the door was laying 10 feet from the doorway as Bella pleasured herself in the shower. Without another thought and the Major hot on my heels asking what was going on, I busted into the bathroom also. Bella was three fingers deep in herself and I had a new mission in life.

"I'll tell you what is going on," I growled as I snapped my woman up into my arms. She immediately began hitting me and snarling trying to get me to put her down. I dropped her unceremoniously on the floor. Not like it was going to hurt her. "She's a newborn, that's what's going on."

"Yes!" Bella screamed out, as if in answer or maybe she was just agreeing with me, I'm not sure.

Major growled at me as he glanced from her naked form to me. "So?"

"She has two primal urges the need for food and the need for sex," I stated as I began to undo my pants.

"No!" Major stepped in front of me block my path to my mate. My mate!

"You can leave now; she is not your concern." I pointed to the door with a quick finger before tossing my shirt over my head. Bella appeared to be frozen on the floor.

"You're wrong. She is my concern. You will not harm her. She has been through enough. Yes, she needs sex as you stated but she is obviously not comfortable with any of us to come looking for it here. She is afraid of you, Peter. Look at her!" He stepped to the side and pointed a finger at my woman.

I looked. I saw a newborn, naked and wet, and ripe for the taking. She was mine. I was not to be denied. I stepped forward ignoring the growls of the man still in the room.

"LOOK!" he roared, quickly grabbing me by the back of the neck and moving my head so it was angled more towards looking at her face and less at her glorious body.

Her face.

She was terrified. She was trembling, her lips quivering, her body shaking with sobs. How did I not notice that? I was so certain. Certain she was just masturbating, just taking care of a need that I should have taken care of for her.

"She's scared, of you, of me, of all of us," Major stated calmly when he felt my realization.

With wide eyes, I turned to look at Major. "I did this, didn't I?"

"You had help." His face softened as his eyes returned to my naked mate on the floor and I couldn't even be angry. I knew what he meant. She had many demons in her past. But I was one of them. I needed to make this better.

"Bella?" I grabbed a blanket off the bed and covered her with it. I sat next to her on the floor and didn't even attempt to touch her; after what I did, I doubt she'd want me to touch her. Major quietly melted into the background again, having said his piece. He trusted me enough to leave, knowing my remorse and heartbreak were genuine.

Bella sat curled in the blanket for hours. I didn't know what to say, how to make this better. I waited. She shivered in fear for a while and when that finally dissipated I figured I needed to try something.

"I'm sorry," I said in a whisper, breaking harshly into the long dead silence of the room. I waited for a response. There was none. I was almost ready to run away, run, get out, figure things out on my own, almost. I didn't want to be that person anymore. I didn't want to be the person who couldn't handle dealing with my mate's problems. So I began talking.

"I…" Well, I wanted to begin talking.

"Bella, I…" What should I say? _'Sorry, I almost raped you… twice. I love you, please talk to me. I wanna sparkle with you. We're soul mates and I need you.'_ No. I was starting to sound like a fucked up Hallmark card.

"Bella, I don't know what to say. I've talked to you until I'm blue, figuratively speaking of course. I don't know how to handle this. You…you are the only person I have ever truly loved. I know you've been through a lot. I want to help you, help us. I want there to be an us. I want to start a life with you. This is supposed to be a time for you to be wild and learn what it's like to be a true vampire. You have strength that should rival mine if you fed well, you have speed you haven't begun to experience, and you have senses that haven't even tasted the tip of the iceberg out there.

"I can't change what happened to you when you were little. I can't change what happened with your dad. I killed him because of what he did. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, I don't know. I know I never want to see anyone hurt you again and I sure as _hell_ don't want to be the one to do it.

"Bella, if you never talk to me again, I'll do my best to learn to live with it. But please, answer me one question, one question and then I will leave you be to deal with this, leave you to come to me when you are ready, leave you for good if you want." She stiffened at my words. I knew what my leaving might do to her, how she felt about people leaving her, but I was going to give her a choice.

"Please, will you answer one question?" I asked waiting for an answer that may never come. I knew she was listening. She finally gave a short almost imperceptible nod about 45 minutes later. If I wasn't me, I would have missed it.

"Do you think… you can ever get a point where we can… be together, not just sex, but a couple… mates?" I had to know. I had to know if I was going to be a babysitter the rest of my life or if I had a chance to be a spouse, a lover, a friend, a confidant, etc. and have someone be those things for me in return.

I waited.

And waited.

She said she would answer.

I kept waiting.

It had been 22 hours, 6 minutes, and 13 seconds since I asked. I was still waiting. Neither of us moving.

There were 9,873,234 strands in the carpet that was visible to me.

I waited.

Major came in at some point and asked if we were ever going to leave the room. We didn't answer.

I could hear 2 rats in the basement , talking in rat code. I tried to decipher it.

Major carried in a bobcat with a broken neck and tossed it in the room like he was feeding the zoo animals. Bella attacked it.

I waited.

A few hours later, Major brought a black bear in, also with a broken neck, tossing it into the room. Bella looked at me. For the first time in 4 days, she looked at me. I held her gaze.

I waited.

She gave the bear a cursory glance. It was getting cold, not a pleasant taste.

"Take it," I whispered to her. She glanced at it again. I knew she wanted it but she thought I needed it more. We stared at each other from that point on, the bear spoiling behind her. The bobcat carcass had already been removed from the room by Emmett before the bear even arrived.

"Damn it, that was a good bear you two!" Emmett yelled when saw the bear still intact where it had been dropped off. "What a waste," he muttered, leaving it there to rot or whatever it would do based on how long we ignored it.

I waited, my darkened eyes locked with the dark tangerine ones of my mate. A silent battle played in her head, while I waited. She glanced again at the bear and went for it. I knew by now it'd be cold. She still guzzled it down, apparently too hungry to care or just indifferent to the taste . I felt bad thinking she might be so hungry she'd drink something so vile. But I couldn't force her; more to the point, I wouldn't force her.

On day five, after determining that I had literally counted all 24 hours in seconds, 86,400 to be exact, from the moment that she drank the bear and dropped it's carcass back on the carpet, I made a decision. I gently reminded her that I was waiting for an answer.

And then I waited.

Emmett removed the bear shortly after my reminder and gave us both appraising looks before shaking his head in silent thought and leaving the room, dead dinner in tow.

I waited.

And waited .

And waited.

On day eight, another 2 black bears were tossed in the room. Feeding time at the zoo, again. Bella drank one greedily, this time not waiting for it to get cold. She pushed the other one to me. I pushed it back.

We regarded each other again, never having broken our gaze in the last 3 days except just now when Bella fed, ravenous for nutrition. I never wanted her to be thirstier than needed. "Drink," I prompted.

Bella shook her head and pushed the bear to me. The fact that she wanted to care for me in some way gave me a sliver of hope I hadn't felt since I asked my question eight days ago. But I could go a long time without if I had to. Of course, it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I knew I could. Maria was not known for her care of her newborns. My first year, my most ravenous year, I was fed only every 3-4 weeks. That was 50 years ago of course, but in reality, it wasn't that long ago, and my memory serves me well on what it's like to be a starving newborn.

They were only feeding Bella every 3 days because that's when she'd finally accept something. I scooted closer to Bella, very slowly pushing the bear out of the way as I tried to close the distance between us. I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself around her. She was still naked under the blanket and I wanted to feel her body against mine. But I would. I sat next to her and hefted the bear into my lap.

I tore the skin back and held it up to her mouth. "Drink," I instructed again. And she did. She may not have wanted to, but her thirst was bad enough. She needed more than a black bear every three days. They were small, like giant stuffed animals you see in the stores at holidays, only blood filled, instead of polyester.

When she was done, I tossed the teddy bear over with the other one and waited. We locked eyes again, that horrid tangerine color looking at me with confusion.

I waited.

At day ten, Emmett burst in and sprayed us with whipped crème. It wasn't a surprise and we didn't move. We heard him planning it the day before. Silly oaf, for some reason thought because we weren't moving or making noise that our ears didn't work. It did however cause a change. On day 11 covered in now dried, sticky whipped crème, we began to smell rotten.

"Shower?" I asked, nodding towards the doorless bathroom. The door was still lying next to the tub, where I left it when I busted in on Bella 11 days ago. I felt guilt and shame run through me as I thought back to what I almost did.

"Yes," came a quiet female voice, a voice I hadn't heard since her fit when I yanked her out of the bathroom. I nodded and stood, going into the bathroom to remove the door and prop it up to give her some privacy, if she wanted it. I set out clean towels and an outfit for each of us. I returned to the floor by her side.

"You first, Bella."

"No," she whispered and I knit my eyebrows in confusion. Of all things she wanted to argue over showering first?

"You want me to go first?" I was perplexed.

"No," she whispered again.

Even more confused I stared at her, waiting for an explanation as I glanced from her to the bathroom and back again.

"I mean… yes, to answer your…," she trailed off and I immediately understood.

I was shocked and happy and I wanted to bounce around the room like the demented pixie preparing for a shopping trip, but I sat there slack-jawed instead, waiting on flies I suppose.

Bella gave me a very small smile and I returned it with a gleaming one. "Yes?" I questioned, making sure I understood her. "Yes?" I repeated in excitement.

"Damn Peter, get a grip! It feels like a 13 year old girl that just saw her favorite movie star is in that room!" Major said loudly from down the hall.

I ignored him. "Yes?" I questioned again. She was still staring at me but her smile got wider after Major's comment. She nodded her head, smile still firmly in place.

"Yes!" I finally yelled at the top of my lungs jumping into the air and hitting my head on the ceiling, despite the fact that I had jumped from a sitting position. I still managed to make a Peter head hole in the ceiling, but I didn't care, didn't even feel it. She said YES!

I grabbed her up and gave her a big hug, our bodies sticking to each other because of the noxious smelling goo Emmett sprayed on us. I didn't want to go too far though so I set her back on her feet.

"Sorry, I… I had to." I gave her my best bashful smile and she nodded still a small smile in place before she turned and went into the bathroom.

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**I know but please let me know what you think and that you are still out there :) **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: (insert standard disclaimer shit here) SM owns Twilight yada yada yada…**

**This continues to be a story for 18+ only please!**

**Thanks to heavyinfinity for beta'ing and cleaning up my tenses. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't know that today was yesterday, now. **

**As always: Please keep in the mind the content of this story still deals with the topic of rape/incest and abuse, it just won't be graphic.**

**If you have other questions never hesitate to ask! I'll always try to answer even if it's not the answer you want ;)**

_Previously in Chapter 16:_

"_Sorry, I… I had to." I gave her my best bashful smile and she nodded still a small smile in place before she turned and went into the bathroom. _

* * *

Chapter 17

Peter's POV (always)

In the time I sat waiting for Bella to answer me, I had a lot of time to reflect on our situation. My "me" time was not as happy as I would have liked it, but it did give me some answers and insight.

I thought about what some of our biggest barriers were. Why we couldn't just ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Her sexual abuse was a big issue, for both of us. I didn't know how to deal with it. I wanted a strong mate, I wanted a happy mate, and I knew neither of those were possible if she was not willing to open up to me. Then I had the issue of what if she did open up to me? Did I want to hear it? Could I take it? Who would I open up to? We'd avoided the giant neon plaid elephant in the room for too long. It was definitely plaid, so much going on and so much not said. I suppose the one thing I needed to admit was that I didn't know what to do.

I felt like a clown on a carnival ride that doesn't stop. I didn't feel like I was in my skin and I had no control over myself or anything around me. How was I supposed to I deal with knowing my mate was abused, molested, and raped… repeatedly? There are no words. Killing all the sons-a-bitches is a good start but it didn't make anything better. It didn't take away what happened. It didn't take away that I couldn't enjoy my mate's body like I wanted to. I felt like I couldn't be the mate she needed me to be to help her through this, but I had to learn. And that's what I decided in all those hours that I sat waiting for my answer; I decided I needed to learn to help us both. Humans deal with this shit all too often and I would learn to deal with it too and help my mate become a healthy happy woman, the woman she has never had the chance to be.

I waited patiently for her to take her shower, one that didn't involve her pleasuring herself, I was happy to note. A chorus of "good job" and "way to go" wafted up from the people downstairs. I ignored them. I didn't care about them. I only cared about the angel in the bathroom. She returned hesitantly from the bathroom, replacing the door where it belonged once again. She wore the soft denim pants and a purple blouse I had picked for her and I smiled genuinely at her.

She returned the smile, nervously pushing a lock of wet hair behind her ear and looked around the room as though she didn't know what to do with herself. I smiled even brighter at that thought; it was innocent and cute.

"Your family would like to talk with you, they've missed you," I hinted, as I rose and strode towards the bathroom for my own shower, the stench of rotten cream still hanging heavy on me.

She nodded and headed towards the doorway silently.

"Oh and Bella," I spoke before she made it out the door, despite how fast she was travelling. She froze instantly, turning to give me the attention I requested. "I love you." I smiled genuinely, knowing everything was going to be okay. So maybe my gift wasn't wrong. It just took longer than I thought it should to be right.

"I…" she hesitated and scrunched her face together in thought.

I chuckled. She was lost on her own feelings. "It's okay; you don't have to figure it out this minute. You loved me once. I have a lot to make up for though." I gave her an out as I turned and went into the bathroom. I wanted her to love me and love me now, of course. I also knew I needed to be careful. We were both very emotional and sensitive creatures.

I lose myself to my emotions and go on rampages and she loses herself to her emotions and flees inside of herself. We were a unique pair that was for certain. If I believed that peanut butter and jelly actually went together, she'd be my jelly. As it is, they were just nasty food substances, but the idea that a sticky sweet thing and a salty creamy thing can go together- well I knew she was the sugar to my salt.

I showered quickly but thoroughly in order to get the nasty substance out of my hair and off my skin. I was going to owe Emmett for that one, in several ways. First revenge, I chuckled evilly to myself, and then a thank you for helping my Bella get out of her head.

As I dressed in my own jeans and black t-shirt that I had set out for myself earlier, the inferno in the back of my throat made itself known. I knew I needed to eat and Bella could certainly use a good meal.

"Ready to get some grub?" I asked with a smile as I re-entered the world outside of Bella's room.

"Well, I'm done taking care of both of you." Major stormed out of the living room as I entered it, heading for the open forest. He was angry, of course he was. I'm an asshole and so is he, but he was right, he shouldn't have had to take care of us. He really didn't care for me. I just sat and waited, he took care of our girl.

That was another thing I came to a conclusion on. Bella was_ our_ girl. I wouldn't share her with him in the biblical sense. She was my mate and only mine, but he loved her, there was no denying that. And that is why he chose to "take care" of us. For the same reason I'm choosing to acknowledge his presence probably for the rest of our lives. If there ever comes a day when she returns his love, we'll deal with it then. Otherwise, it's not about me or him, it's all about my baby.

We took off to the city, and running felt good after so long just sitting. Bella appeared to be enjoying the movement also as we ran side-by-side. I knew she could outrun me if she wanted to, but apparently she was happy just hanging with me. I'd cast glances out of the corner of my eye to see her face nearly shining even though there wasn't really a smile on it. She felt good, I could tell.

"What are you in the mood for, angel?" I asked as we slowed down to a walk and found a street we could begin walking down without anyone noticing that we came from the forest.

"Just hungry," she groaned and scratched at her throat. I knew those fucking animals weren't helping her that much. I rubbed my own throat in response. I was dying. Truly, I never went this long without feeding myself, but for her I'd do anything.

"Quick and easy?" I asked as we spotted an alley with a couple people in it. Her nod was enough.

We took off down the alley. I scooped up one male as she scooped up the other and their necks were both broken before they knew what hit them. I watched her over my kill as I drank him down greedily. I was going to need more than this, I realized as the pain in my throat receded.

Bella's purr of contentment as she drank her human was music to my ears. I wanted her happy and content. A small trickle was escaping the corner of her mouth as she purred, eyes shut, body hunched over the man she was drinking down. She was beautiful and I always wanted to see her that content. I tossed my guy in the nearby dumpster and waited while she finished savoring her meal.

I quickly let her know I was going to go find someone else and asked if she wanted anymore but she declined. I knew she'd need to hunt again soon but if she was content for now, I wouldn't push it. So I grabbed a guy wearing an apron who conveniently came out of one of the doors in the alley just as I was about to leave and he made a great dessert.

After a good meal, Bella and I found ourselves sitting stiffly side by side in the forest about 5 miles from Emmett's house.

"I don't know how to fix this." I figured I might as well put that out there. I wanted everything to be perfect. My fairytale come true kinda thing, but I couldn't make that happen.

"There's nothing to fix," she responded, her tone flat.

I snorted loudly in response. It wasn't meant to happen. I was just pretending to be a hog at feeding time, because her response didn't even belong in the same fucking time zone. Before I could actually get a real word out she continued, "This isn't the kind of thing you can just fix, Peter. It's the kind of thing I have to learn to live with. It really doesn't concern you."

_What the fuck?_

"What the fuck?" I grumbled because I couldn't stop it repeating in my head. I didn't really intend for her to hear, but it was just one of the many things I couldn't control about me today. "Sorry, didn't mean to say that. It's just… Bella, it does affect me. Anything that affects you, affects me. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I want you to feel better. I want you to be happy, but I don't know how to make that happen. If you tell me to go kill anyone who ever even _thought_ of touching you, I will. If you tell me to run coast to coast proclaiming my love for you, I will. If you tell me to hold you forever, I will. But I _need_ you to tell me what to do, how to help you," I paused before adding in a whisper, "How to help myself."

She stood and began pacing quickly in long strides that were getting longer until she began circling trees like a fucked up squirrel that was lost. I just watched, hoping she was coming up with an answer, one that would make everything better. If I was fooling anyone it was only myself and I shouldn't have placed such a burden on her. She couldn't tell me how to fix this… her…us.

Twenty three minutes later, she stopped suddenly in front of me. A look of anguish carved itself into her face in slow motion as I watched her beauty become so twisted I would have thought someone died. I stood and reached my arms out to her slowly, attempting to comfort her but scared as a kitten in a dog pound. I had a right to worry. She blinked once before raising her head and her arms into the sky as she let loose the loudest keening, guttural cry of all time.

In fear and awe, I backed up and fell back onto the log I had been sitting on, a look of abject horror on my own face. The sound ran out with her breath but the posture barely wavered until I decided to intervene and pulled her body into mine tightly, attempting to shield her from her inner demons. Major arrived just a moment later, frantically looking for the threat that caused our beautiful creature to sound out in pain like that.

"What did you do?" he growled at me as he stalked forward, ending with our toes nearly touching as I sat down and cradled Bella into my lap. Her body sagged into mine. I would protect her.

"I didn't do anything. I asked her how I could help her and she paced for nearly a half hour and then…that." I waved an arm as if it was an explanation but I knew he'd understand. "What is she feeling?" I asked not sure I wanted to know, not sure if he knew.

"Anguish, fear, hate, anger-" he trailed off. I crushed her body to mine until I could figure out what to do.

"Bella? Are you, okay?" he asked kneeling in front of her in a very uncharacteristically concerned manner, placing a light hand on her thigh. I wanted to be angry with him touching her, but I wanted the answer to his question more.

"Bella, sugar, can you answer Jasper?" I asked in my own soft tones. Jasper was the one in front of us now, not Major. Major would never stoop to comfort a woman the way he was trying to. It was a risk calling him that, but he didn't react and for that I was thankful.

I sat her up, facing him with her back to my chest and I began to purr, trying to help bring her comfort. Thankfully, it worked. She answered him after a few moments.

"I don't know how to do this, to be this person, vampire, whatever. I don't know how to live with all of this. I remember every detail of my human life in Technicolor and it scares me. Make it go away. Make it go away," she crooned her mantra as she curled back into my chest and I kept the light purr going, feeling more useless than ever.

"Take her home." Major stood up and left after issuing the order with a glare that indicated it wasn't up for debate. Part of me wanted to tell him to fuck off, but I figured he was right. Being around Rosalie and Emmett couldn't hurt right now.

As we settled in the living room with the other couple, Major walked in from who knows where and plopped on the sofa on the other side of Bella. We both eyed him warily. The quiet in the room was uncomfortably engulfing us.

Bella finally said, "Thank you all, for dealing with me, through my depression or whatever that was." Bella smiled wearily at the others, focusing mostly on Major but spared a look for Emmett and Rosalie also.

"Sis, we love you and just want you better." Emmett smiled at her hesitantly, not sure how his term of endearment was going to be received, was my guess.

Bella nodded and again the silence hung heavy in the air.

"Bella?" Major asked with a forceful tone. As Bella looked at him he continued, exuding the same powerful tenor, "You have been through a lot. You are done. You will no longer be controlled by your past but you will embrace your future. You are a vampire and you will be a good one. Today you will spend with your mate. Tomorrow, you will begin training with me. I will teach you about the power you hold, both mentally and physically. I will teach you how to fight both offensively and defensively and _you_ _will_ _learn_. You are not a little girl anymore and you will not act as such. Am I understood?" The glare coming from his eyes spooked even me, and though he could probably feel it in my emotions I willed myself not to shiver in reaction while waiting for Bella's reply.

I knew he was not to be questioned about this. These were his orders and as I had flashbacks about what it was like to be under his command in the wars, I realized this fear is the kind of thing Bella was dealing with. The fear for her life, the fear of someone stronger that was going to make you bend to their will and suddenly I was angry. I was mad that he would force that strength on her after all that happened to her, he was taking away her free will, again.

In the second it took me to process all of this Bella straightened her spine and responded sneering, "If I am no longer a little girl, then _you_ _will not_ talk to me as though I am. Do _you_ understand?"

I was astonished, scared shitless, and proud of her all at the same time. Major did not allow people to talk to him like that. I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her, my fear controlling my limbs as I pulled her into my lap and further away from him, although we were still close for my comfort. I have no idea what Emmett or Rosalie were doing at that moment and I didn't care. Major was the current threat.

Raucous evil laughter left him as he tilted his head back and it filled the silence like thunder before the lightening. Bella stared at him from her position and when his air was out he returned to look at her with a maniacal smile. "Good girl," was all he said before flying silently out the front door and into the wind.

With wide eyes I glared at her and glanced around the room. Emmett and Rosalie looked… confused. Bella turned in my arms and snuggled closely. I couldn't argue with the closeness but couldn't quite process with the vastness that is my vampire mind, what the fuck just happened. It was like trying to put a lollipop on a Popsicle stick, it didn't fit.

"What did you do?" I whispered still in shock. Can vampires go into shock? Have I asked myself that before?

"I stood up for myself. He isn't going to tell me what to do," she responded with a proud smile. Suddenly, I wondered if that was his plan all along; if he was just pushing her to grow a backbone? My "gift" wasn't giving me any answers right now and I just wanted to hold Bella. So I did, for the next 4 hours until Major returned.

"I see you two haven't moved. Not that you have something to do, but I need a drink and I'm sure Bella could use one too." He held his hand out to her and I narrowed my eyes just slightly as she took his hand and rose from my lap with her head nodding. I shouldn't begrudge her a meal but I certainly don't like him touching her. He smirked at me, not missing anything, including my jealousy. "We'll be back," he said quickly and they were gone.

"What are you going to do, Pete?" Emmett asked returning to the room a few minutes later, having been off listening to music in his room with Rosalie.

"About what?" I thought I knew what he was asking but I didn't really feel like talking.

"About Major and Bella?" Oh, not the question I thought he was asking.

"There's nothing _to do_. She's my mate, mine. I won't share her." I was adamant that I wouldn't be sharing anything with Major, though I knew that was easier said than done.

"You already are. She's not here with you. She's with him. What do you think they are doing? Just grabbing a snack? What if they are doing more?" He appeared so innocent in his questions, but I stared at him with wide-eyed horror.

"W-what?" I almost didn't ask. Don't know that I really wanted to, but my shocked brain wasn't in control.

"Well, I… I'm sorry. Never mind, dude. They probably are just getting food. I just see the way she looks at him and she went to him willingly. I dunno. It just seems like there is something there, there always has been. I'm shutting it."

Now, I had God knows how long to stew about Major and Bella being something "more". It's not something I ever pictured and I guess I didn't know how she saw him. Fuck, that's going to involve a talk, too. I didn't like these talks; they don't have a great track record. It's like daring to race a horse with a broken leg. It won't work, so why bother? Just shoot the poor son-of-a-bitch.

Does that translate into shoot me? Am I the poor SOB here?

Major and Bella returned a couple hours later, appearing calm and satisfied. I did my best not to let my suspicion take over, fucking Emmett, as I hugged Bella a little too tightly and sniffed her, searching for his scent. It was of course on her, he had taken her hand earlier, but it didn't smell over powering. Nothing to worry about, I thought with a sigh. I looked over at Major who glared at me before leaving silently for his room.

"Good hunt, doll?" I asked as she tried to put some distance between us and I reluctantly let her go.

"Yeah, it was fine." She stepped a little further back and I was instantly upset. Feeling like she would prefer to be closer to Major than me.

"Want to do something tonight?" I asked, trying to find a way to spend time with her.

"Well, like what? Dinner and a movie? I don't think so." She's not interested in spending any time with me? Could you get bigger hits to your self-esteem at this point? Maybe as a vampire she never will love me. Maybe I'm destined to be her lap dog, following her around. I sank back into the sofa where I was when Major took her from me. The place where I held her and thought she enjoyed being in my arms.

Without my permission my arms wrapped around my body and I heaved a big sigh. She was going to be okay, that much I was certain. My gift was certain, anyway. But will I? Will I be okay without her as my mate? As my what… friend?

"Bella?" I asked quietly, releasing my hold on my body and steadying my hands on my knees, keeping my eyes locked on my hands. "We need to talk."

* * *

**Just for fun Human/Twilight crossover: 3rd person POV**

Bella looked up at Peter nervous about what was coming next. He tried to smile at her but before another word could be said a car came racing into the driveway. The confused vampires regarded each other before the heartbeat in the car sounded in their ears. Bella's mouth immediately began to well up with venom hearing the loud thudding noise so close to home. The one place where she didn't normally have to moderate her thirst. She had just been hunting with Major, she wasn't even really hungry, but the even thought of a delicious human walking into their midst pulled at her core.

"Bella, maybe you should go for a run really quick," Rose suggested as she stepped out on the porch with the others to greet the unknown visitor.

Bella shook her head, she was going to try. It was only one human after all and if she slipped, no one was going to care.

As the newer model tan sedan stopped in front of the house the lady inside regarded all the beautiful creatures with awe and lust. Major began making his way to the car in an effort to keep her there and find out if she was lost. The brunette obviously did not belong.

"Can I help you?" he asked as she opened her car door and he blocked her path from exiting the car. She looked at him in awe and a girlish giggle broke out, though she quickly covered her mouth, embarrassed that that had happened.

"I-I'm here t-t-to see, Peter," she stuttered out. She was intimated for sure by the beautiful blonde before her but she was on a mission and she wasn't going to leave without doing what she came to do.

Major raised an eyebrow at Peter as he carefully made his way to the car. He wasn't scared of the human, but he didn't know her and he didn't know what she wanted.

"I'm Peter," he introduced himself stepping next to Major. The woman uncontrollably giggled and stepped out of the car, nearly chest to chest with the two large vampires.

"Yessss, you are," she cooed and stepped up to Peter wrapping her arms around him. Bella snarled and was restrained by Emmett and Rose. The woman hugging Peter was scared but couldn't make herself let go of the statue she always wanted to hug.

"Everything will be okay," she whispered, even though she knew what they were and that they could all hear her. Peter returned the hug briefly upon hearing the words he longed for. That life was going to turn out just fine. When he released her the woman cautiously regarded Major but his stern expression was not inviting. She returned to her car and turned around without another word.

Bella continued to roar and struggle wanting to get to the woman hugging her man and wanting the human's blood but the couple holding her did not acquiesce.

"What the hell was that?" Major asked, ignoring the raging the newborn and focusing on the stunned if not slightly happier Peter.

"I'm not sure. But I know she was telling the truth. And for some reason I know she's heavyinfinity, though I'm not sure what that means."

* * *

**AN: Yeah, the last little part was just for heavyinfinity because she wanted to give Peter a hug, so I told her she would get a cameo LOL. Which is not part of the actual story, so don't get too confused, it never actually happened, sorry heavy.  
**


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